We don’t like rejection, it’s the absolute pits. Ever been told its just friends from here on? And our heads cry out fuck me no! Yes we all have heard the speech at some time in our loving careers.

A friend of mine did this speech to me some time back, and although I was cool with it, I still felt that outrage of rejection of me.

What a fucking carry on it is. When we offer our best selves up for a full on relationship, only to find the other person just doesn’t want our full attention.

And when we’ve done the same to others in the past, we all know that we don’t feel good about saying to girlfriends (in my case) “I think we would be better as friends…”

The way it works if the other person wants to remain cool and not “bothered” is they say its ok and then they go away and fume and we become their personal hate campaign either silently or through anonymous traps and disasters we set for them.

Petty fuckers we can be. When we have low esteem and ego bounding about.

Over recent years my boundary management and involvement with the fair sex has been much more deep and involved. Simply because my confidence is higher and my ego lower. Its stopped me hurting women inadvertently and made sure I have become as honest a broker of truth I can muster.

Being honest is far more rewarding. But honesty is not enough. We need to make sure our moral compass, our principles and values for living are understood by ourselves.

We need to treat each other as we want to be treated ourselves, and this a bugger, because fucking and morality don’t always go hand in hand.

Its really difficult for me at the moment, I felt lonely and went out flirting. I admit its part of my nature, and its not necessarily something to be good at doing. The outcome as usual has been some mayhem and enticement and folly. But for a change I did not let things develop.

An arch plate spinner in the past makes it easy to fall into old ways. So easy I had to catch myself doing it before the sensibilities kicked in.

I can’t do it anymore, it disturbs me intensely. And it makes my ego come to the fore when I live better and confidently with esteem.

They said I should love myself first. It is true and I am worth it. Which means loving all people in my life comes with a code of ethics and behaviour consistent with care. Acceptance of love for self and others makes everything work and sparkle with a sharpness for truth, honesty and wicked moments.

Confidence comes from an appreciation of the whole of the picture, our own view and that of others we hold dear.

And when we hear those words, I think we are better off as friends, or I am still hung up on someone else, or I’m not ready.. Have our angry moment of fucking hell and rejection. Then realise we have been freed to be ourselves and make good our universe. And be open to love which is definitely around us and ever patient should we feel inclined!