I guess this day is much like any other, I like the May Day connection. And as May is permission to do as well as a month, today reminds me I might be allowed to anything and everything. Within reasonable boundaries that is, my boundaries and those I find agreeable. We all work within boundaries.

One boundary I felt close to my heart all my life, is no man is above the law and that includes me too. Funny it should be me I am referring to, as the concept is enshrined in Magna Carta in 1215. No one is above the law and we all answer to our account of our deeds. That it is to everyone, the law is blind, the law is not a favourite. Yet we all know as the centuries roll on our use of law, making of law and application of law is subject to human interpretation and human corruption.

What is at stake is the principle, the principle of human beings getting on together and being able to make society and community work. This principle puts no one above the law, except maybe God, and in his absence no one. Describing God as a him is purely a convenience, and making reference to God is difficult for me, as I believe the concept of God is so irrevocably connected to humanity and our good conscience, good conscience is my touchstone in all human doings. Good conscience is our understanding of our spiritual base, our reason for life is intertwined with our good conscience and our experience of life.

So to May. I may choose how I live my life. Up to a point as we all have our obligations. I may choose my path, up to a point for I know no other suitable path. I may choose my society, up to a point for I have limited options being in one society and a move to another is not easy, or maybe as hard as I might imagine. I may choose. And so we unravel our life knot of opportunity. We can do, we may do, we have options to our present and future. And we base our decisions on experience and what we accept as givens and codes for living.

Moving out of, or even returning to a modern life and included in society can be a hard and long road. Some of us get caught up in all manner of places we would not choose for ourselves. We are subject to many interdependent forces, not least our own. And after decades of trying I am only now able to make some choices I never thought a possibility. So this May Day, is a permission for me to explore and open up my view, my vision, let go and include the unimaginable. To get a life!

Why has it taken me nearly fifty years to get to this point? Is it because I am weak and unable to form my own view? Or is it I feel my view has been narrowed by years of experience, some so valuable I would never give it up, and that other experience, so valueless I would wish it away and I was free of my burdening memory. I have many a wish statement, a wish for this and that, and yet I know without the harsh side of living, the good side also has no value. What would I discard? Really it must be nothing. And we learn the benefit of every punch and kick, every mental anguish we have lived.

The benefit is my hindsight, and for some there is no benefit, there was only misery. But in good conscience we learn that we can make good for now and the future the torments suffered by others for future generations and the living. If we choose to mobilise and make good those times and lost lives as humanity surely must. We learn and improve our good conscience as we become more informed and sensitive to the success and plight of mankind. but never fast enough. We improve our understanding of right and wrong, but never fast enough and we improve our living and the living of the less fortunate, but never fast enough either. We are impatient in our progress and wonder why it takes more than our lifetime to get there.

We have greatness in all of us, we have lofty ideas. We have wide vision if we are in our modern society and we see hardship around our world, and we seem powerless over it. And we are in the main. We can give and contribute forever, and we will have done good works, and we need accept our sadness we cannot achieve what took forever to make happen and then change it to our view and our standards.

We may choose to accept the status quo, or change it. We may do what we like. And we will feel the consequences of everything, for in good conscience and bad conscience we have no way to turn off history or memory. We indeed feel and live and experience our consequences. We do however have denial as a thought process, whenever we say to ourselves and those around us “ I don’t believe it “ we are engaging in denial. We humans are pretty useless at calamity, and denial keeps us going long enough till the truth sinks in. Denial is that necessary and good process, it makes us able to deal with the unacceptable and for most we get it in the end, our reality. Others less able are lost in denial and they live incomplete out of the real deal of this world. Denial is so needed, and so bloody frustrating. My denial is as long as life over fewer things, events people and experiences which cost me and made me melancholy. My denial even extended to the good, so damaged was my outlook.

Now this May day, I can see more clearly where I can go and make my way. I want to help my equal partners in life, anyone and everyone, just to my abilities and not as some sort of super hero. I like being an ordinary bloke. I know a lot and have experienced a lot, so can be useful in sharing and developing anyone’s outlook using my experience of life. And I gladly give where I don’t know, maybe can only speculate, but there is always another person who can help.

I like the person I am growing into these days and chose to keep my path. An affirmation after many years of deep sadness, that there is a life to be lived. Fragile in all elements, we human beings are sensitive or bludgeoned by events. If we don’t break we are made stronger by our experiences, this really is very misleading. We do break, we repair, we get busted and we get fixed, but we don’t always get stronger. We get good at coping, we get good at denial, we get sensitive to our world and our experience keeps us going. We are adaptable to anything that does not kill us outright.

Life is about choices when we can weigh up the risks. And the biggest risk in life is never to take a risk, ask anyone old enough to know. Hindsight that beggar makes good our outlook, and makes good our harsh memories. So beggared by life, we can see its richness, now that’s worth reminding myself of this particular May day. May it treat us well in good conscience…

Magna Carta and all that. That no man is above the law. That the law is applicable to everyman. That good conscience will prevail over the darkest times. That the will of nations will make good our world. Seven hundred and odd years later, we are just getting to grips with what this means to nations, let alone us as people. For in those hundreds of years, we have many generations trying to understand what it means to each as individuals before we ever pronounce our good conscience to the rest of the world. And this is why in anyone’s life, where we meet ourselves in good conscience, take stock and accept our judgment to good or malfeasance, we have learned our journey and our steps to spiritual development. So gifted our journey is more simple in its outcomes and more complex as we consider our humanity, and our common good. Our choices are made good in principal and our lives easier to live in good conscience, and profoundly sad in acceptance. The balance is our journey, the tariff is our memory, unforgettable when last breath is drawn, and lost in time as dust gathers on ashes and bones.

Until the next life, be it visible in generations or immortal beyond our comprehension, either way somewhere that knowledge awaits. Who would wish the surprise to be spoilt by any seer only those who would draw on their future account to make good this present, this May Day, this ever present present.