April 29th 2006

copyright don oddy

~ life sentence ~

ďThe purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best that is within us.Ē

Life sentence Every day we make choices about what we do. We donít even know how much thought or feeling goes into each decision we make. Unless of course the choices and decisions are going to have impact on us. Even those choices are coloured by our prejudice. We make choices and decisions based on our best knowledge and experience. In essence we do our best with our best. Our best way of being.

When we make our choices and decide what to do, the outcome we hope will be in our favour, the best we can expect, the best we can hope. We donít do things against our best interest. Even when we donít feel always we will be directly benefiting from our decisions, when we put others first, we do it because we know doing the right thing will be far more gratifying than doing something purely for ourselves. And we learn from experience we broker our present day and future possibilities by doing our best and the right thing.

At least we hope we do all these generous things to make our world the best it can be. And we know from experience what happens when we go against our interest and the interests of those around us, or we learn over and over the consequences of our actions as experience teaches us.

Our way of living teaches and informs, it makes us good at guessing outcomes and dealing with what will happen when we behave according to our interest and nature. In an ideal world we develop and get good at the rightness of everything around us, and still we will be confounded from time to time. If life became predictable what on earth would be the point?

Our infinite and forever living is with ourselves. We have a life, its as long as it happens, a day at a time, and every day is one we remember and file away in our memory. We use our experiences and keep developing our understanding, our comprehension of everything. None of us escape this life, and our memories. We cannot discount or bury them deep enough that their impact is ever lessened. We highlight the extremes with happiness and sadness, we learn where we find living works in between. To live at extremes is never sustainable, we simmer and find a path which we find meets our needs as we go. Fits and starts, restful and restless we move along and develop our experience and memories.

Our lives, a life sentence. A life sentence where look at everything we do if we get good at life. To work out who we are and what we stand for, how we make life work. And our life sentence is every stored experience we use to make each day work as we live it. And sometimes these days seem long and hard. Sometimes these days are full of dreary and uneventful times. Sometimes our lives spark with untold joy, and others full of despair, so desolate we find it hard to take a breath.

Each and everyone finds these memories and experiences make them live each as they will. And when our will is compromised we live them as best we can.

Along the way as experience deepens we see through experience what works and fails to meet our needs. We see all our behaviour and we see every element to our good and every element we might fear recollecting as we trawl experience. We humans with every quality we admire and every quality we despise, we have this in our life sentence.

The beauty we revere in our days and the ugly we encounter in ourselves and others , we make choices from our experience and our conscience. We make decisions which we know will have their consequences to the good and bad a we go. If we are fortunate and use our good conscience we learn and understand the path we choose for ourselves. Our life sentence is how we measure and define ourselves with our code, our way of life and our humanity.

Our life sentence is the gift of life. Our memories full measure on tap, for us to use as we will. We decide on our life sentence far sooner than any other and we live with our choices.

We may rail and deny much of what we do, or little as time and choices are made through experience. We reflect on balance where we will draw the line, make a stand for good, or for another way. We learn our life sentence as we go. And many a hapless tormented being has wrestled with good conscience, wishing and hoping a chance to put right any or all of life experience. Conscience troublesome and so competent, is our measure of truth. Conscience will be forever with us a we live out our days.

When we hold to our choices, and we hold to the good of good conscience we see, we recognise we are impassioned to judge as only we may, every act of life.

Our life sentence, holds us to account. We the judge and jury through our conscience forever with us, make life what it will be and live with the consequences. Our life sentence, so clear to see, and so often shrouded by our doubt and denial, sits inside us unavoidable and forever in our mind.

And as we go through every experience we develop and make good our account, to whatever balance we find acceptable and for what reasons life has pronounced.

Good conscience or not, a conscience is there and we hold ourselves to our own set of rules. We know what we do and we live as we can. And we know when we live to the full.

And life teaches as we go, if we are fortunate how life can be. We are not all as lucky, or have this good fortune to put right our balance as we are often swept along. For no one teaches us to consciously reflect how we feel and what we think and make good our record as we live every day. We move along swiftly and donít find the chance, we move blindly as events often dictate. And then comes tragedy as everyone can relate.

Harsh times can evolve and we cannot undo the disasters we encounter without any way to avoid or deflect and we never had a chance. Its only in hindsight we ever see our part. And we cringe and we cower away from those thoughts that strike us most often in dreams and our hard times.

We judge ourselves as harshly as any other human can, and we live with those torments as we move along. We make sense when we share them and make good our days as we move with and where experience makes the good of our way.

Our consequences, our forever memories, and when in their absence we wonder at old times, we see those gaps clearly and know what they are. We blot out our darkness in case we are overwhelmed with our feelings of guilt, and remorse hits us hard. Our life sentence as long as our will, as long as we draw breath, we judge what we do. And when we make good our account of our life, we know where our balance is, and make our own charge, as we look to our conscience our judgment of self.

And we do all this feeling and thinking as we go, we donít even know it in detail, it happens just so. We sense in our presence our overall worth in our feelings of esteem when we walk on this earth.

No one judges us as harshly as that inner critic, with us for life as we meander along. Our conscious living which drives all our doings as our hidden conscience moves us to every consequence of being. Our human doings, as primal as ever and our human being keeps on growing never ending in us, as we end our sentence, we alone are our true judge.

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