DonInChelsea


June 18th 2006

copyright© don oddy

~ What do we do with Truth - self help ~

self help is a nightmare

Truth is a theme so close to everyday living, Its right there with denial. We are so aware of others and their truth, and their denial of truth. We live in a world where donít really get much truth at all.

Indeed we find it hard to tell the truth as well. As we go through our day we keep modifying our outlook with our mood. It we are happy, the truth in what we see, makes the world worthy of observation. We see happy things. When we are sad in the world all we see are sad things. When happy, we dismiss sadness as not relevant, we donít take on sadness. When the world is happy and we feel sad, then the world is mad and out of step with us.

All the time we modify our outlook according to our feelings and age and wisdom. Is it any wonder we find living so easy sometimes and so difficult at others? Self Help guruís and self help books

Why are there so many self help guruís around? Why are there so many self help books? Because we are unhappy, because we donít know how to sort out our problems? Because we donít really get things too well?

I guess for all those reasons. Self help books are really only useful when we need some self help. Self help books are fucking useless wastes of time until we feel like doing some self help. Self help is fucking awful, we do it alone and without context usually and when we are desperate. Self help can make us more fucked up specifically than when we were just fucked up generally.

How to help yourself

The best form of self help is time itself. Time to make sense of things which are nonsense. Time lets us get perspective and get things in proportion.

Next in the self help list of things to do is to check out our current reality, what we think is going on.

Then consider, is what I think is real, is it really real all the time? Ask a friend or someone for an opinion. In olden days, we had family and friends and priests and things to help us do this. These days we need someone outside the circle of close connections if we have any, because they usually are the reason for self help in the first place. Remember the rest of the world might be deluded an mistaken too, so donít feel obliged to accept their opinion. The rest of the world is quite happy to be deluded as well as ourselves, we know it makes sense.

Check things out with your doctor or someone you trust. Or use a self help book to find out where you think you are in a crisis or difficult situation. If you are still deluded and know it, self help books can make you feel ok about your current levels of aberration and make it ok to use the best tool of self helpÖ Time!

Self help books help us understand we have feelings. They donít help us understand the experience of our feelings, or that it takes time for feelings to be felt. Time is the gift where feelings find their right size, or get truly out of proportion and make us ache all the time. We never know which way this will lead, it depends on how deluded we are.

Self help books help us understand our denials of reality, and our spirit of endeavour. Our spiritual being if you like. Spiritual is about how we keep going through life and is not about religion.

Religious self help manuals are provided by religious organisations and very useful for practising religion. Good examples of religious books are available for all religions across the world from their religious bookshops.

We do get confused because spiritual, religious and things which might be pursuit of God in our living, are not necessarily all the same thing. Its really up to us as humans to make our choices or go with those handed us through family and friends and how we worship is a matter of personal choice hopefully. Or we might be religious because it suits us and our situation more than being excluded from mainstream living as a consequence.

And there is self help available around this too. How to be a better human is covered all across the world.

What is not surprising to me is the number of self help books and literature purchased and the actual use of their contents.

Reading self help is not doing self help. We can read and be intellectually clever enough to understand self help, but it is a rare person who reads a book and then does self help with profound changes in outlook and behaviour.

Self help takes time, takes energy to do new things and stop doing things which donít help us. We need room to help ourselves and self help starts with knowing we are currently full up of things, thoughts feelings and things to do. Most often we are full of shit. We know other people are full of shit, and we might just be mindful we are too.

Self help means we throw out some shit to make new shit. A good example is when we are young and we have a friend who we decide we need to move away from, we know they are so different they will never be a friend we need. We take time or we chuck them, and its relatively easy to make space for a new friend in our lives.

The same applies with self help, we need chuck or throw something out which is bugging us and needs to go. For example, feelings we have for an old lover. While we have feelings for an old lover, we have no space for loving a new one. You try getting rid of those feelingsÖ. And we find we take forever to stop our feelings or lose them. So give yourself a break, old feelings take time to fade, and new feelings come for new people only when we have room for them. Time is your self help.

It takes as long as it takes to change feelings, make new connections and move along with real live people. Some feelings will take forever to change, we might want to keep them and change, they may be the best we ever have. So donít be surprised if new ones might seem inappropriate and hard to get. Thatís Life!

Self help Guruís often assume they have all your answers, sadly they donít have any at all. What they have is their view, which if we are lucky we can agree and adopt for ourselves. Great and good. Donít be surprised if they look and feel like wise ass and crass and stupid fuckers. They are not, they just have found their own way. We are often the ordinary fuckers trying to make sense of our mad world and our mad thinking and feelings!

We need to accept that some people seem to be able to sort and float along as if they are serene. Unfortunately they probably are and we just envy their serenity and peace. And we are feeling unhappy only because we feel we want to be serene too.

The best way to find peace and serenity is very simple. Live

~
Copyright © Don Oddy



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