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December 22 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Open Honest And Willing are Aspirations

Integrity

Small word for big living. I feel a little off key today. Sharing with integrity whatever it might be feels somehow unhappy, when we cannot be ourselves. Or we imagine too much from where we have got to in the day or anything we humans might be about.

Gently moving along and being in the world with a clear head helps me listen, see and read the world as is right now. When there is some room to imagine possibilities, I like any human being feels the pull towards happiness and excitement. Joy perceived and wondered at as a possible outcome with insufficient understanding can make us worry and fear.

Happiness

A simple and uncomplicated way to live will generate happiness with our present state, when we find harmonious connections. And at the same time I need know enough to make good decisions and good connections.

The Glorious Internet

Awash with humanity all learning how to feel and make life work.

Stop Thinking And Start Feeling

I was guest speaker at an AA meeting just down the road from me. A meeting where I used to made tea and just kept happy by humans saying hello and asking for the drink of their choice. It was cool and just right. From a person still reeling and still in the grip to my friends from a few days sober to over three decades. And all the crashing of noises off made for difficult speaking and difficult sharing. We got by and it turned out ok.

I said we need stop thinking our recovery and start feeling our recovery. There is no mileage in recovering and having a degree in how to live if we forget and do not learn how to feel life.

This Issue - Feelings Never Lie

Genuine feelings never lie to us, we lie to ourselves and then we can compound our worries as we lie to others. There is nothing but heartache in sharing feelings we may wish for and cannot find. We need evidence and understanding of who and where we are in order to feel life as it is today.

The Truth Is Out There

Our truth is as good as we can experience. ‘God is Truth.’ Feelings inform us of who and where we are. What we have to make life work and what we need, and also what we want.

Wants and Need

Two different agendas. What we need is "Truth." Truth helps us cover our needs. We need love ourselves and others, and learn what love is. We may want more love and more loving in our lives. The internet does not always tell us what we may wish to know as we plunge forwards and forget who and where we are in our living. We can gloss over unhelpful truths about ourselves. And when we wonder why information is lacking we can be careful and not too ahead in our speculations or we can be undone.

Face To Face

We can understand what our needs are, and where imagination is holding us back or moving us forwards. Reality and face to face we have a real chance to understand and love. At long distance without having a face to face and real meeting of minds we are not able to understand or share completely the reality we are. Or we may have worries about anything and everything we portray.

Hopes Wishes and Dreams

In a clear way in my local living, I understand from my own experience, strength and hope where I am today. I share openly about much of my life. And it is true, people in many places know me better than I know them. In fellowship I can be true, in my immediate world I am and can be true and this is no easy way to live without practice, I am a novice all over again. And from faraway, we can hold to truth we can dare share as much or as little of what and who we are.

Many know me well and still face to face fills in those other elements of how we are. We can imagine, we can think scenarios and have much to hold to dreams we might aspire were reality. Reality is different, immediate and in the moment.

Even face to face we can evade and brush under our magic carpet much we might deny in ourselves. We learn as truth manifests and often the bubble in relationships bursts as the truth will out.

Care and Gentleness

Reflecting just now on events close to me, I see the truth torturing and hurting those close to me. Tolerance and love is needed in all daily living, or we may brush away what we don’t know, or fear most, being found out.

Go gentle into that good night..

As if this were an ending, I have no clue where the dark starts and stops. Enlightenment is always going to happen as we either find continuity or experience nothing. In many ways the event is not determined or the outcome. Unlike the here and now, this awkward ever present, present moment of now. Where truth finds acceptance and we are the Key.




Daily Reflections December 22 2007

Principles Not Personalities

The way our "worthy" alcoholics have sometimes tried to judge the "less worthy" is, as we look back on it, rather comical. Imagine, if you can, one alcoholic

judging another!

The Language of The Heart, p. 37

Who am I to judge anyone? When I first entered the Fellowship I found that I liked everyone. After all, A.A. was going to help me to a better way of life

without alcohol. The reality was that I couldn't possibly like everyone, nor they me. As I've grown in the Fellowship, I've learned to love everyone just

from listening to what they had to say. That person over there, or the one right here, may be the one God has chosen to give me the message I need for today.

I must always remember to place principles above personalities.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

As we look back over our drinking careers, we must realize that our lives were a mess because we were a mess inside. The trouble was in us, not in

life itself. Life itself was good enough, but we were looking at it the wrong way. We were looking at life through the bottom of a whiskey glass, and it was

distorted. We could not see all the beauty and goodness and purpose in the world, because our vision was blurred. We were in a house with one-way glass in

the windows. People could see us but we could not look out and see them and see what life meant to them and should mean to us. We were blind then, but
now we can see. Can I now look at life as it really is?

Meditation For The Day

Fear no evil, because the power of God can conquer evil. Evil has power to seriously hurt only those who do not place themselves under the protection of the

Higher Power. This is not a question of feeling, it is an assured fact of our experience. Say to yourself with assurance that whatever it is, no evil can

seriously harm you as long as you depend on the Higher Power. Be sure of the protection of God's grace.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that fear of evil will not get me down. I pray that
I may try to place myself today under the protection of
God's grace.

As Bill Sees It

TIME VERSUS MONEY, p. 290

Our attitude toward the giving of time when compared with our attitude toward giving money presents an interesting contrast. We give a lot of our time to

A.A. activities for our own protection and growth, but also for the sake of our groups, our areas, A.A. as a whole, and, above all, the newcomer. Translated

into terms of money, these collective sacrifices would add up to a huge sum.

But when it comes to the actual spending of cash, particularly for A.A. service overhead, many of us are apt to turn a bit reluctant. We think of the loss of

all that earning power in our drinking years, of those sums we might have laid by for emergencies or for education of the kids.

In recent years, this attitude is everywhere on the decline; it quickly disappears when the real need for a given A.A. service becomes clear. Donors can

seldom see what the exact result has been. They well know, however, that countless thousands of other alcoholics and their families are being helped.

TWELVE CONCEPTS, pp. 63-64




22nd December 2006

After Life

Odd times today, I could not sleep last night, not that I was actually thinking about the person who dropped dead yesterday. I feel like I was in shock about a few things. I did relate my experience to someone last night as I mentioned, but after I was ok and felt fairly accepting of the incident. And I am not playing it down. I remember seeing the attacks on Lebanon and the aftermath for both Lebanon and Israel, loss of life is not ever going to be ordinary for me. Yet for many who live with terror all the time it must feel the worst of all.

It is without doubt a crime against humanity to keep people in a state of terror. And without a shadow of doubt the mess of Iraq, the mess of the middle east as a whole, the devastation and famine across large tranche’s of our world, it leaves me feeling like I cannot face news or more of the same yet I must, its real. And so last night the shock of death so close sparked off a whole riot in my head.

As we deal with death on a regular basis in my fellowship, why is it the actual presence of death really reminds me life has gone? Its because its real and in front of me. The tears we see so often, the terror we are watching as it unfolds and the killing of men women and children, its so clearly routine, we are watching expiration all day every day. And still we feel detached. I felt detached yesterday as life was gone. And yet its not gone from me tonight. I can move from one mood to another in the blink of an eye sadness to joy as we all can.

Am I weary, or am I just used to it? Neither I feel. Yet I am powerless as any other to put back life when its gone. And leaders of the free world squander others lives so quickly in fine principle and quick reactions when the real motive is revenge and retribution.

Life expires quickly, we have no need to hurry its ending. And yet in our warlike nature, our righteous drive to this and that, and of course democracy. An excuse for much malfeasance. We need to look at how we influence and bring this world into better times. A world like ours ravaged by our inability to let people be themselves and go about their individual business. If we don’t start it, it seems we try finish it. I am venting my spleen here. I have no desire to make criminals of anyone or undermine good intent, yet that is the way to hell. We need a better world order. And it starts with us and how we treat each other.

Today

Its been a lot longer and more arduous and more packed with connections. I felt life is too short for all mishaps and misunderstandings. The imminent feeling I had was I don’t want this day to be over without trying to find balance and understanding, and get back to evens with the world and everyone I know. I did not ring and say lets be friends.

I felt I needed to make sure amicable connections were in place and acceptance is my key to all this. I bang on enough about it, and I know there have been difficult times where I felt undermined, ignored undervalued and all those horrible things. It is not my way to hold bad feelings inside, it hurts me as much as anything. The comment I made that hurt people hurt people is so true. We need to stop somehow hurting ourselves and others as a principle.

We are all to quick to jump and react, when we might say "hold on what are we doing and what are we about?"

And yes there are bad people about, made worse by more torments we mete out through neglect and without finding one shred of forgiveness.

For me we need forgive everything, as we can for in the end we do no better than we can or have been taught or we are lost to principles and to social law and order. Our fabric of society is ripped by torments and accusations from the poor to the wealthy in all of the world. From have nothing, to have a bit, to obscene wealth held and not shared. I have no fight with wealth. Wealth has a struggle and cannot be maintained unless we accept inequality. I am no communist, but this world and how we help each other is very, very primitive.

Powerless I am

Except to speak as I live in a democracy. But I cannot point and blame, I can suggest we need to more and help more. War wins no friends. Food and support and sharing makes for a better world.

How long for our big picture to change? Nature and economy will move the balance of wealth as it will. There is no protectionism which will ever work, as the Soviets have found out, so too western democracies will see the rise of new markets and wealth elsewhere.

What is on my mind tonight

Well apart from all that nonsense that just came out. I have helped a friend with a lot of stuff. I feel I am a friend and can remain so, even if they choose a different path to living than me, and truly It is their choice. I can do so much and be ok. I am not tempted by their way right now at all, been there and now live differently. Its my choice and my path, and I cannot turn my back on a friend in need. Nor should they feel I might. I hope they are ok.

And this reminds me too I need be the equal of my encounters and be me.

The meeting tonight

Well indeed a lively funny share about dealing with our shortcomings. And so funny, it cheered me up. I went to a step meeting which was about step seven:

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Now as many will know I have adapted the God AA mention, and higher power of AA to suit me and my faith and my belief and my take on spiritual progress.

Any mention of god, is about "good conscience" for me, any reference to higher powers, is the collective wisdom of the people who have learned to be sober from being addicted. So in good conscience and with a higher power of AA wisdom at my fingertips daily, I get my spiritual progress. My spiritual progress in the day, as we all know, living in the moment. The mind, body and breath we have utilised to best effect in this present moment of now - now that is spiritual. And as most people know you don’t get spiritual by mind altering drugs or alcohol, you get pissed and stoned, and your world is as big as your head. Your ego tells you are tripping, and in fact you probably are, over your feet as you slide into oblivion…

So shortcomings

Our speaker with great presence extolled the virtues of self. Being self aware and the right size, knowing that we all make ourselves too big and important sometimes and too small and too timid other times.

The trick is this as I see it. And this is my story. I relied too much reliance on fear, bravery and ego. And not enough reliance on courage, faith and confidence to see me through my living.

Whatever the reasons for my shortcomings in this world, I learned them and got them as life deals the deck.

Now I know what has happened and where I am I can just get on with the day, adjusting as I walk, or in my case often ride my bike, with courage faith and esteem, not in fear, being brave because of fear, and using ego to make myself feel big enough to get on with the challenge of today. Faith courage and esteem work for long periods. Fear Bravery and ego, well they work in the short term when we are not ourselves or we have been laid low by ourselves or events and worse people who make us feel less than them.

After hearing this I was going to stay on for a few chicken legs, which was part of the festive fare, and other delectable’s which play havoc with my digestion. So sensibly I got back here and have been experimenting with "you tube", and writing.

So in between rants I hope my words come out clearly. And I enjoyed trying the new media, time will tell where it may lead. Somewhere is my endeavour, and hope just for today. It was fun, dark humour, exhausting helping and supporting and all about doing the right thing. Less connections to haunt me, and most hopefully restored and amicable. Love is all we really need. A day at a time!

December 22nd 2005

Gorillaz in the Mists King Kong

we are fascinated by nature and we draw on it to find meaning. Sometimes songs and film evoke more than we expect. A mood, a time, some misty recollections, waking up in good cosy company and letting the mystery of the day start to unfold through sleepy eyes.

This is a romantic time of year, the season draws night quickly and there are a few hours of light, sometimes so piercing and bright we might get giddy.

Cold tramples through us as we move about and catch steamy breath. The muffle and then sharp relief of noise, that crispness of sense about us. When we find it difficult to express our sense of now, and memories are captured, we tip ourselves into pockets where we recall cherished moments.
And music and film pinch our sense as sensibility is lost in raptures well worn fondness.

Bitter sweet and sweet again as a tear is caught before it drops and we come back from sharp to sharp relief...

December 22nd 2004

Crown Of Light

There is a crown of light on those who are carefree. If you are worrying about anything you carry the baskets of burden on your head. Which do you prefer? Do you prefer the basket or the crown of light?

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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"The Big Issue"

The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.




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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.































Don In London
Not for Profit
Progress Not Perfection



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