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December 21 2007

DonInLondon - ĎDay In the Lifeí Judge Not - Blind Prejudice

What We See Is Not Always What We Get

Yesterday I was exhausted, two long nights trying to understanding the finer workings of my computer and uploading videos to You Tube. How many types of video and saving places are there on a computer? I donít know other than I seem to have to learn much all over again.

What I See - "The blink Of An Eye"

What I see anytime I am awake, is always judged by me in some way. How we humans work, we see something and then we judge it. From our early years we learn to see and judge. We learn when we use our senses to find out if a fire burns, we feel the heat and the pain and we donít put our hand too close to the fire, or it gets burned!

We Perceive and we Judge

And we know in the blink of an eye we can see good or bad situations, we see good people and other people who look as if they may be bad for us. We develop our intuition and know by some learning instinct the good and bad we may experience.

We Judge People

All day long. We do, we Judge people, from the beggar in the street to the couple in a Rolls Royce.

We Judge People with our Prejudice

When we see the beggar, we may judge them as hapless and useless, we see the couple in the limo and we see wealth and importance. We have prejudice.
When we see the beggar do we wonder how they got to be so? And how do we judge the wealth and well being of the wealthy?

The Beggar full of wisdom of Life

Found himself lost as wisdom turned to all sadness mankind can suffer. The wealthy in the limo, born to material riches sit in ignorance of what counts in life.

What we count on

We count on our experience, and often in the blink of an eye we make a picture of the two scenes, the beggar useless and the rich worthy of something we donít quite know waht. Maybe we see disgust at the beggar and envy of the couple.

Judge Not

We need suspend our judging long enough to know what we are assuming, or we miss out so much we might one day regret. Judging a book by its cover. Judging humans by their appearance.

Prejudice is an Attitude

We develop our attitudes to others and we develop our attitudes to ourselves.

Alcoholics Anonymous - stigma

Anonymous some of us are. I have learned to my advantage that sharing my situation helps me. I am a recovering alcoholic, I do and did judge myself and let others judge me when I was an active alcoholic, worth less and not worthy of your gaze or mine.

Prejudice is Born in Fear

What we fear in the beggar is what we may become? Or we have ego so proud we can judge any human and discount them with our prejudice. When we discount humans for their appearance, their culture and their value is less than ours, we are most likely in fear of something we are. We are not God and we still judge others. As my God is "Truth" how dare I judge others?

Courage Faith Confidence

As we let go our ego driven heads where we judge others, we get more level in our outlook. When we accept our natural state, we get some courage faith and confidence. We stop judging that some are lower than us, that some may be in some way above us. We are all allowed to exist as we may, in good conscience of course!

Ego Fear - Fear of Life and Judgment

All day long I might fear something, worry about something and be judging away as my head rules my thoughts. My feelings inside make me feel less than or superior, or I find my path back to simple confidence and see the world as it may be.

I see I Judge

If we judge people as less than we are, if we judge people as superior to where we are, we carry resentment and blind prejudice. We resent we are not better than, we resent the beggar as a parasite.

I have been the beggar, I have been the wealthy man with his limo [not quite a limo in my case smiles here, I only got to a high end medium range type car, and see there is judgment!]

Judge me and you judge yourself more than or less than. We need find a balance in our outlook, that all and everyone has a right to be, to live and to have an existence to the good.

I heard many judgments yesterday, of people, of places and of things. Prejudice binds us and keeps us prisoner seeing maybe good or bad as our prejudice eats into our serenity.

Spiritual

Making the best of this moment in good conscience. Good Conscience.

Now can we judge when we know, "but for the Grace of God [or as I see God, but for the Grace of Truth and Good conscience"] go I?

Today

If nature had had its way, I would be a long time dead. Where I live, where I reside, I have gratitude for making days work as may be.

Accident

Had I be born without some attribute I take for granted, born into a family somewhere in a world where there is no medical help as we have here in the UK I may have perished and not have had any life at all.

Prejudice and Judgment

When we sneer at others for whatever reason or have disgust, what is it telling me about my prejudice?

When I hear prejudice in others who judge on race, creed, age, mental capacity and all manner of less than perfect, I hope I take a long hard look in the mirror. Sorrow I do have for those who judge, those who see the world distorted by their ego, and their malfeasance. Judge and reside in prejudice where resentment haunts? I hope I do less of this today.

Experience and History

We need and utilise our experience every day. We utilise our courage faith and confidence, we also are prone to use our fear, our ego and bravely face the day wondering if we may be found out. That can be a tragedy for ourselves as we miss the point in this life. To learn and grow and share.

I hope for a day, where I can simply find an open honest and willing approach to living with enough confidence and less prejudice.

What I see in others

Is often what I like about me. What I also see in others is their blind prejudice and resentment at the world as it is right now.

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged! And Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone. And with that I end till laterÖ




Daily Reflections December 21 2007

Listen Share and Pray

When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
A A p. 100
When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I've given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that's inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong
reaps its own benefits. The best I can do - and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice - is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for others.

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Have I ceased being inwardly defeated, at war with myself? Have I given myself freely to A.A. and to the Higher Power? Have I got over being sick inside? Am I still wandering mentally or am I "on the beam?" I can face anything, if I am sure I am on the way. When I am sure, I should bet my life on A.A. I have learned how the program works. Now will I follow it with all I have, with all I can give, with all my might, with all my life? Am I going to let A.A. principles guide the rest of my life?

Meditation For The Day

In this time of quiet meditation, follow the pressure of the Lord's leading. In all decisions to be made today, yield to the gentle pressure of your conscience. Stay or go as that pressure indicates. Take the events of today as part of God's planning and ordering. He may lead you to a right decision. Wait quietly until you have an inner urge, a leading, a feeling that a thing is right, a pressure on your will by the spirit of God.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that today I may try to follow the inner pressure of God's leading. I pray that I may try to follow my conscience and do what seems right today.

As Bill Sees It

Pain-Killer----or Pain-Healer, p. 291

"I believe that when we were active alcoholics we drank mostly to kill pain of one kind or another--physical or emotional or psychic. Of course, everybody has a cracking point, and I suppose you reached yours--hence, the resort once more to the bottle. "If I were you, I wouldn't heap devastating blame on myself for this; on the other hand, the experience should redouble your conviction that alcohol has no permanent value as a pain-killer."

In every A.A. story, pain has been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price purchased more than we expected. It led us to a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.

1. LETTER, 1959
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 75



21st December 2006 (written last night)

A Matter of Life and Death - Joy

Odd reflections on my day today. I have been able to get out and purchase some ink so I may write up some tables to monitor various actions I take on a daily basis. Health these days is a priority for me, it never used to be as I have enjoyed some good health along the way. Now into recovery and more alert than ever, it seems timely to be reminded it could be so different.

High Street Kensington

A bitter morning, and my dogs are barking quite horribly (feet are hurting as I have diabetic neuropathy, the nerves are dying off). I am in the High St simply because the shops there have what I need today, just some ink. And as I am moving slowly ahead I see a crowd. Not too big a crowd as the onlookers realise they are witnessing life and death. Someone has collapsed and is being given CPR.

I see the person and realise the best attempts at revival are most likely not going to work. No sign of a siren and no sign of ambulances. Its just happened, I see the person giving the resuscitation and know they know what they are doing, I have seen this before. There is nothing I may do, and nothing anyone can do, except accept what has happened and move along. That feeling and knowledge of another lying in the cold of the day, and they are gone. No doubt really, having just enough experience to know. And then the sirens and ambulance are moving through chocabloc traffic and its going to be too late I feel for anything which might restore this person to life again.

I get on my bus and I am shocked. And its because I realise I am older and just about managing with what I have to do. And had I been that person, well I wear a chain with my ailments around my neck so they know most likely what causes my problem.

Selfish thoughts

I consider myself lucky today its not me thatís lying there on a cold hard pavement with strangers, and absolutely with someone knowing what they need do. They donít lack attention, they lack breath. And no amount will make the difference for them today. As to me and sitting on an empty bus, odd its empty as people were standing quite shocked back there. And a lesson to remind me that life is precious and it goes out of us when we donít expect. At least now for today I am not self harming like I used to with drink as my weapon of choice.

In some ways it made me realise for the person concerned what was happening was not an issue as their journey in the present seemed done. And as to those helping I could say without doubt, they did their best. And for me if it were me, I am Iíd be glad to be going about my business as I learn now just one day at a time. With some luck and sure knowledge, I am unlikely to expire from neglect or lonely or without someone knowing I am missing. And I am connected to this one day always.

Fellowship

After this morning, well the day felt odd and really quite peculiar. I sent a text to a friend or less a friend than before, there are always petty reasons why we end up not talking to someone somewhere. And life is too short for it. As is anger and all the entails.

In my fellowship for the most part we do get on, we look out for one another and we keep faith with this one day at a time. And as gently and reminded that life is just so precious I may not make it worse through my drinking ever again, and our fellowship offers a way out of the deepest of troubles any might encounter.

We may never be rich, we may never be famous, we may always live this one day as best we can with whatever troubles we may have. And we can be connected, and keep strong with experience strength and hope. Seeing someone go where ever we do go after we expire, a friend reminded me what I saw. As he said you can see the life go out of a person, and he is right of course. A surprise, a shock, and just a matter of life and death.

Life

Is too short. And we need not make it shorter. Tonight our speaker was near thirty years sober. And I have heard them share on quite a number of occasions about life and how it goes. And how they got sober and restarted living after years of being caught in this wretched addiction we call alcoholism. A mental disorder actually, a recognised disease. And yet so many suggest itís a self inflicted ailment.

For those predisposed through nature and nurture, well that is the way of any disease, to have no tolerance after one incident with drink and then a life long realisation we are addicted as we may be. Its absolute madness as we know to drink ourselves to death, yet so many do, simply because people just donít know the dangers and where they lead or simply how to stop!.

I never knew, or did I just avoid this simple truth of me. I have and had a liking to addiction for that which gave me oblivion from pain in my head. The pain of depression actually. And I have probably said enough this week about that.

People know me and listen to me

Odd really for me, as I keep myself low profile I felt. And its hard to wonder at what motivates me every day. I was writing notes to self today. About what can I do to make a living again. As it seems this grinding poverty is going to get worse as my fixed income cannot cover my outgoings these days. Gas, electric, power and utilities have risen some 20-40% and nothing extra for me to get by. Harsh times indeed.

At the same time a government hell bent on finding scroungers too. I donít see any really, I have yet to see anyone I know doing this. But our programme is about honesty. And in honesty without some help from a very supportive relative who lets me use this machine to write, well my life certainly would be more difficult. It would not stop me, it would mean cold and porridge more often. So I am determined to do something whatever I may do. As to what well its always a good time to find out. And of course there is a strong desire in me to pay back all help given so freely from love. Meanwhile back to this.

Yes people do listen and I listen to them, most of the time I make sense of nonsense that rolls around in my head.

And tonight I did feel like sharing a lot. And realised it was a short time and many were anxious to get a look in, as I go every day and share very often I was happy to be silent and listen some more. At the end when I shook the hand of our chair, "sharer", he said he had listened to me yesterday somewhere else, and I had not thought he had been there. So it seems even when we think we speak out for ourselves, we do good for people with thirty odd years experience. And this person certainly made the difference some years back to my attitude and my coming to terms with this killer disease.

Odd at Christmas

So many people do expire, as times are not routine or ordinary and our bodies are often subject to more strain from food and drink. I am lucky not to need ever drink alcohol again now I have found recovery. And seeing someone who has enjoyed as best they may, near on thirty years of celebrations of this and that, marriage divorce death and births. Well itís a good example to us tonight. And a jovial and wise person, steeped in sober living, with nothing to prove other than life goes on quite extraordinarily ordinary just a day at a time.

Life and Death

We all, most likely got to the fellowship of AA, as it had become a matter of life and death. At least for those I know it was so. And now we may cherish life and our experience, that life is for living again. And for those of us with a little more to contend with and manage, well the programme helps enormously and actually gives us level pegging and equal to the challenge of living today as ordinary people do without any addictive behaviour, thank goodness this is the majority, although sometimes I do wonder.

As to today, a gentle reminder how we are taken out of the game of life as quickly as we enter. Or as near as. We never know what is round the corner unless we know how we are self destructing and a certainty we hurry our end through tortured eyes and no understanding of the way out of hell on earth.

Today, to be fair and even, to let go troubles and ego, and anger, and all that clap trap. And get on towards peace and harmony as best we can in these fractious days ahead, where the world goes slightly mad as we go soberly and raucously about the joys of this time of year? Some of us celebrate and make what we can of the next best thing. My happiness is turning up for lunch with family who have seen the worst and best of me over the years and welcome me today in sober frame of mind. And a chance to see nephews and god son on boxing day too. This would not have been possible just a few years back, and today its all possible, with gentle connection to fellowship, and good connection to living as we may whatever our capacities, the equal of all and everyone equal as it may be. I need not worry about any other person place or thing, I am powerless over all that, and I have choices how to view this world and me in it, just one day at a time.

A good day today

Although death is always present in our lives we need celebrate the good if there be good, the connection, the love and the joy, as well as sad moments where pain resides. Thatís life, dollops of both when we least expect it, we need not plan for either event, just deal with as happensÖ

I seem attached and cared for by my fellowship friends who never presume or lean too hard, we just sort of support each other closely or slightly distant, it just they way things are. And we get back to living again, where we fit and how we might be part of, it develops as we do the right things to be in this world. Precious time lost to drink? Not really just time to realise where truth and honesty resides, where living counts and where hell lives. In all of us as choice are made as we can mad or sober, at least I have better chances and choices today.

Tonight there is silence in the ever present, present moment of now, I feel sad for some who will miss the person on high St Kensington tonight, happy that there were people around who did their best. And above all realising that where ever my end will be, with hope and acceptance, sober as I arrived into this world some decades ago. Not a morbid feeling a good feeling that today I made the best of what I have, and to tomorrow? Another day to learn about life.

December 21st 2005

Tolerance

Someone who has tolerance won't even say "I have to tolerate," because that implies they are feeling sorrow. Instead, they will say, "It's not a problem. There is something for me to learn in this." Whatever the situation, tolerance enables me to learn. Perhaps I need patience, or humility, or understanding. Tolerance allows me peace and my love to stay
constant. That way I stay connected with the Source of all that is good, so that I can help both myself and others.

Tolerance enables me to stay focused, so I can be connected with God or and my good conscience, and the light that comes from that connection to the good enables me to see what I need to do at every moment, and how to do it. Chaos may surround me, but if I have that light in front of me, I know where to go. If I experience that light in each step I take, then I can help illuminate the way, maybe for others as well.

December 21st 2004

Beyond The Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall.... a hard look into our own being. The mirror on the wall, it tells you most you want to see. And in the mirror, our eyes give clues to what enhances our confidence when pleased and our ego when we are insecure.

That hapless mirror tells us so much, the eyes, the windows to our soul, gives peaceful notions and worries as we recollect and collect ourselves each day.

Our mirror is best seen through our feelings and doings in the world, a true reflection of the one we are.

The mirror on the wall, the temptation, the reflection as others view is no use to inner growth. Our feelings need no more than conscience gaze, to set us straight.

Forget the mirror on the wall, find love inside as we moderate our day to day to reflect our view of mankindís kinder nature. And find love for one and all, to rejoice the day.

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.































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