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Archive November 16 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.


























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November 12 - 19 2007
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November 16 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Of Nightmares and Confusion

Befuddlement

When I woke in the early hours out of a shocker of a nightmare, all about times past, it left me confused and feeling pretty awful. Of late I had forgotten the impact of nervous breakdowns and much that assailed me in my working career. Nasty indeed, and then broken sleep ad more confused thinking.

Coping and Troubleshooting

So often because of life experience and toughness we don’t realise just how far we wander into danger by toughing out hard times in life. Going it alone, without emotional support we become used to holding much inside and not showing what is happening on our outsides.

The Best Boss I Ever Had

He knew me pretty well from day one, even the parts I chose to hide with skilful evasion, yet he knew. Part science part intuitive, as we reveal our experiences of life, some recognise what it takes to do the hard time in endeavour. And when we think we are playing our cards close to our chest, another experienced player can see our bluff as well as our strengths.

The Worst Boss I Ever Had

Deserves credit for the breakdown of me. And so do I. Being a good worker and solid supporter I realised mistakes made in accepting employment with this organisation and this boss. I am reminded from time to time of all the malpractice, all the lies told, the abuse ignored and final moments where even I with every coping strategy found death preferable to any life. Beaten down as logic has no fair ending, abuse has no place in reason, tyranny has no place in my heart. It took a sick individual to break me, and glad he did. It won’t happen ever again and it is his good fortune we have not met these last few years. I forgive every day, and still recognise there is no value in confrontation as a single act would not relieve my pain nor offer opportunity for another to make their life turn for good. Denial has its uses for those who are not able to recognise their malfeasance and their part in malpractice. I hope they live a long while and find guilt their constant companion, until of course they realise… smiles as you can see human I am.

There are no conditions on forgiveness nor any need to be so enraged these days. I accept my humanness as I accept it is not for me to put right anything, nor interfere. I have no energy most of the time for any need for news of ill winds. Most of the time I could care less.

Curative

I felt unable to pull myself together and no matter what I made mistake after mistake trying to write a few sentences. So easy to write some days, and then this morning quite unlike me, to be tongue tied and out of sorts. A meeting at high noon at Eaton Sq.

High Noon

Yes Eaton square has gone through some patchy times. A bit like me when I am out of sorts and old nightmares come to haunt. When we in fellowship try regulate more than is good for us then as a group we can be led off the map of sobriety. And this is not so now at High Noon.

Good sense and sensibilities were share today, my head started clearing and whilst part of me kept feeling like coming home and finding some sleep, the weather kept me out.

Sunshine And This Day

This day will never be the same again. I feel this every time I am out and taking photos. I love seeing people going through London, living here, enjoying here, being as they are here and now.

Even tho it’s a struggle sometimes I force myself to get going and see what might be seen. London as we do, it changes every day. Nothing is ever the same when we our looking at life as we may.

Eaton Square

Was where I started and then Parliament and from our centre of democracy to Whitehall, with Downing Street, to Trafalgar, to Covent garden, to China Town and then to Piccadilly. And finally to Harrods just round the corner from me. And my head is better for a stirring rally at Eaton square and my feelings are back in this day and not in the past or stuck in a labyrinth of painful feelings generated from last nights nightmare.

Home for an hour or two and now ready to get going again. To another meeting where no one has a name but the one they choose, anonymous as is right, providing a safe sanctuary to share and make good our heads.

As is life, when we are present we can make it work, just for a day.




16th November 2006

Step Out Step up - Step Changes

Odd times again for me, a lot of my living is, or has improved. And still there are hard times ahead. Its real life and life is all elements, for good and bad..

Step Change

I first heard of step changes being in Consultancy. You know where big companies get consultants in to help them smash old traditions and deploy new methods of working, and sometimes they just chuck away bits and people. Step change was a term for ruthless and relentless change for the good. What good it has ever done is not too certain as a consultant has two things on their minds, the number of days consulting time to bill the client, and how to get out of the firing line as soon as possible. Consultants do work hard and suffer consequences beyond the immediate and get paid fat fees often for doing the dirty work companies cannot do themselves.

Steps though these days are different for me, I am not a consultant, and not a step change junkie particularly when it comes to other people. However I am a step change junkie when it comes to me.

So what steps do I do?

I do steps, small ones and big ones every day following a bunch of suggestions from my mates in a fellowship of men and women who don’t drink anymore, because it makes them loopy and fucked up. We are a bunch of recovering alcoholics, making a day work, daily and that’s it.

At first encounter the fellowship of equals is mind boggling. Not an organisation, no hierarchy, nobody in charge and yet it keeps people alive, living and well for decades just by following a few simple ways of living. And the simpler the better, for indeed we are clever people who can bend anything out of shape in order to get our own way given half a chance.

Steps of living

With a simple bunch of suggestions there are millions around the world who have given up their favourite addiction, and killer addictions. They get on with real life in the moment and by the day. We look after our physical and emotional well being just a day at a time. And for those who realise that real time by the day living is the true spiritual experience, we get some spiritual too. Just by following some suggestions.

Mad as Hatters

Well we were once and can be again, which is why the fellowship has meetings all over the world helping groups working together to keep sober just daily. And you know it works, when we work at life.

Working at Living - Step Changes

If I were a businessman, I would try include AA steps into the organisation, but it would probably fail. Because they are merely suggestions and everyone has their own way of life and living. But one thing is solid, we are men and women who benefit from sharing wisdom and working together in one common purpose - just sobriety.

Steps

Taking a few steps to complete freedom, to making good decisions and applying the right measures to life, well it makes our lives a whole lot better.

We very human fuck ups, get better and better at living and join in again with everyone and get to live like normal people may, or might believe they can. We do it because it works, and we work hard at being sober and experiencing real life every day.

As my last meeting was less than an hour ago, I feel ok, and I am full of peace, because I know I have done whatever I could today and left it at that. Not buggered by drink or compulsions and happily able to deal with my being just now, and tomorrow is just another day.

How Am I

I am ok, worried with usual day to day, encountering my own humanity and compassion, subject to sadness here and there, and able to experience joy as it occurs and I keep faith with the here and now. Am free from fears, as fears kept me down for many a year. I am vulnerable and do my best to make good.

I can feel whatever the day presents, and live reality, with less denial than any other time in my life. I can love and be loved, and not be worried if it is ok or not, it is love as love is and not more or less anything else. I can appreciate depth, can appreciate highs and lows. Can accept my capacities are just what they are. I live one day at a time, acknowledge my journey and endeavour, live now, and let the future be as meant, not now!

A few simple steps, for complicated people like me, just took fifty years to get it, got it and good for the day. About time!

November 16th 2005

How Equal Might We Be?

Questions raised,

"what might diversity mean. What might it embrace. What is diversity really about. And what about similarities. And what about value we might give our fellow human beings? A topsy turvy moment!"

Diversity

If we embrace diversity we have another key to living. Diversity is about equality for me. It means no one person is bigger or smaller than any other. That the value of everyone is the same. That the life experience of a road sweeper is the equal of a leader of a nation. The value of life is the same whoever it may be. That the joy one person experiences are no
more or less than any other. That the sadness we might experience is no more or less profound than our fellow. So whether we are a Leonardo with paintings revered for centuries or the person painting a wall as a Janitor, the real value or absolute value is constant. We just know more about one

than another and therefore a greater appreciation. This is consistent I presume (a big one in presumptive terms) with our good conscience, and for those who believe with and in God. Diversity is the experience we get. Similarity is our template. Nature provides our raw material, our similarity, nurture our difference. So if we accept diversity we know our true value, our mutuality. We as humans are coextensive. Our "zeitgeist" if you like is moving towards diversity. How far are we in our evolution? One step forwards and inevitably two back as the pressure of prejudice pulls us backward into the abyss of anarchy.

We know in our good conscience the essence of how we might live, we accept our imperfect perfect and our own personal journey. And as a collective, humanity rushes to fix when only our nature and time will do the job.

November 16th 2004

Belief Power

If you are ready to alter some of the current outcomes in your life then you will need to start with your beliefs. There are many categories. First there are 'fatal beliefs' - "I can't, I'm not able, I never will." These are the beliefs we have about ourselves, that set the boundaries and limitations of ourselves. Then there are 'blocker beliefs' - "My kid is stupid...my boss is an idiot...did you see that crazy person?" These are beliefs about others and, for however long they last, they block the flow of energy in a relationship. They are bricks in the walls we build between each other. Then there are 'survival beliefs' - "Get what you can while you can....there is not enough to go around...you have to look after number one." These beliefs would have us live in fear and anxiety, otherwise known as insecurity. We can choose our beliefs. But first we may have to unchoose the ones that have crept in over the years, now living comfortably 'below stairs' and seem to be part of our inner furniture. If you want different outcomes in your life, change your beliefs first. Clean up down stairs!!

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Archive November 16 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'





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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.































Don In London
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Progress Not Perfection



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