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Archive November 6 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
















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November 6 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Newcomers Before Christmas

Newcomers

There seem to be a lot of newcomers in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Seems strange to me. To come to AA before Christmas. My experience was to see Christmas through and if I were still in the Land of the Living I was uncertain what to do.

Live or Die

I had been at this jumping off point before, how many times is uncertain, so many elements of my secure living were taken and some the people I had cared for over the years gone. The living who cared about me, well I had battled with depression and wanting to die for a long while. And yet somehow I felt it would let them down if I expired. I had no reason to make them feel worse by ending my shabby existence.

Shabby

It was a real mess, the life led in the new millennium by me. And it only got worse the more I sought oblivion. How many breakdowns can a person have and somehow have just enough wits to cling on to a remnant of living?

These were the questions as 2000 rolled into more years of sadness and no joy in living at all. Doing anything to be worthy, doing anything to get anyone off my case and doing as much to obliterate my self pity and self hate.

It took a long while for the penny to drop. That the life I was leading for many years had been pretty shabby indeed.

Work And Career

From the mid nineties my life took a real downward spiral. The essence of the downward path was a nervous breakdown through work. And then compounded by the revelations of many home life issues. Deaths, births [not of my making ]and many other elements, career gone, homelessness in the sense I had no means to keep myself going. Evading my own situation and generally hiding from life. Everything hurt inside and out.

Brave Face

And through all these internal pandemonium’s and break downs I kept a brave face, a mask and did nothing to get the right help. I was not worth a light in my own life. And of course if it were to end with some accident, I had not one care to live.

Broken

Why did I have to break completely, in order to listen. Why did I have to be hospitalised and why did I ever come back to life?

Somehow

Somehow along the way, as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous we do have that moment, "a moment of clarity."

I am not the only one

So of I am not the only one, where the other addicts and what are they doing. I knew most were still drinking and a really small number were living and being happy sober.

Will Power

Will power was killing me, I had used it up a long time back. And when I realised life could get no worse, I asked for help. From the NHS the National Health service and they helped me detox all over again. And I started a path of sober living.

Rage and Relapse

As time went along I found my feelings return and they were mainly rage, turned inwards and gnawing at me. I relapsed in a state of rage after I had been sent to rehab.

Rehab or Hell Hab

One in the same for me. I went to a rehab local in Kennington London. The cheapest rehab in the world, and a very damaging experience for me. Even now I can recollect the letters to the principle charity running Hell Hab, the London Methodist Mission.

I am certain they did not understand the nature of the way the place was run, and after a psychiatric assessment at hospital some time after I left, they told me the Rehab experience had harmed me more than helped me.

Hell Hab was closed down in the end. And with a lot of relief shared from former inmates who like me spent months there, the truth hopefully made the decision to close more easy.

A Return to Gravity and my feet on the Ground

When a professional, a Psychiatrist understands the nature of the experience we encounter, and tells us the Rehab Treatment Programme was not right, then we know where we are. I went for an assessment because I was tormented and not able to understand why I was hurting so much and worse after months of not drinking, had relapsed on rage and then drink to stop me self or other harming.

Relapse that time?

Was to be expected actually, as the rehab Hell Hab bunch of counsellors were playing the inmates off against each other and setting up crisis for people to experience. Horrible manipulations of people by those with professional status and very little aptitude for understand process and people. Of course this is with benefit of hindsight. A blinking miracle I made it back to AA

AA and Homeless

So homeless and having experienced harsh moments on the streets. I have to say my harsh times on the streets was very short compared to many. But homeless I was and actually homeless for more years I care to mention, as floors of friends gave way to streets and along the way.

Most fortunate for me in all those years was my Sister and her partner Christopher [ Chris who sadly died in June this year] who helped greatly, gave as much as they could and kept me safe when I was really unable to care for myself at all.

Now years later I am ok and have a roof over my head I can call home.

Sober and being the Newcomer

So difficult as everything in fellowship becomes familiar over time, we need be mindful of the hard times in early days.

Other organisations and Recovery

I am going to repeat my feelings on other recovery organisations and ways to be sober.

"Whatever Makes Life Work sober and free from Active Addiction - Work It!"

AA is not the only game in town. There are many institutes of medical practice to help. There are books, there are people, family friends and community. There are the Anti AA angry people, the Anti AA happy people.

In all these combination of preferences we hopefully find our path.

I can criticise what I know about, I cannot criticise what I don’t know about or have not experienced.

Stories of recovery however we get there help is my view. Happy or Sad, joyous or just plain happy to be alive for a while, that is all it is. Your way and choices is your best way to keep safe daily and by whatever means allows for goof living and good conscience.

I chose AA, stuck around for a while and found a way to make life work. As this is not the only way, you need choose as you find.

I prefer not to judge you and your recovery, the best seems to be to live as full a life as we can, get help where needed, most often medical help and good direction from people with experience and hope for the day and future.

AA?

It has saved my life, I had thrown in the towel and had given up, now I have hope a day at a time.




November 6th 2005 [ experience from the past ]

The true nature of every human being is kindness

Nature provides our raw material, society provides nurture

November 6th 2004 [ experience from the past]

Self-Respect and Regard

If you develop your sense of self-respect, then regard will follow you like your shadow.

A strange morning. Off to another part of the City to meet someone and attend a meeting of the fellowship. I have a mixture of emotions. Some there I knew, yet I was unable to speak to them as other business was afoot. It was good to hear from another where the drift of life had taken them. And it was right to feel as I have always inside, about many complicated matters so close to me it still hurts. And another I had help peel from the pavements not long ago and visited in hospital. Strange times these Saturday morning adventures. My mission accomplished and plenty more, not one of the outcomes expected, except one, Just for Today, the world is as it is meant to be, and I am still in it, with a humble heart, strengthening and yielding to the day as it unfolds, just so...

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Archive November 6 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'





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"The Big Issue"

The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.



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