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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
















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October 22 - 29 2007
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October 29 2007

DonInLondon - ĎDay In the Lifeí Always in Recovery

Just for a Day

Seems right to me, always in recovery and always one day sober. I was reading through my emails into the early hours. And after a particularly good weekend of seeing family and being to fellowship meetings, I had plenty of time with others. Part of recovery is to be in good company as much as we need and still find our alone time, not lonely time.

And yesterday just kept on going. With emails on the You tube and answering it kept me up till three this morning. I need remind myself to go to bed!

Overall a good day and some chances to reload software which seems corrupted these last few weeks by downloading BT stuff. Some collisions and problems. But some things keep going regardless yet slowly.

Below an email response:

Names of others are always changed or left as [xxxxx] as a rule of thumb.

Hi [xxxxx]

it feels like its my own story when reading your words. It is a real pain in the neck to find a way to quit.

My suggestions and experience:

My intellect kept me drinking as I felt able to weather the stormy days when I was trying not to drink. Result is we go back and have another go, but it takes more drink to get anywhere near the oblivion which we want? For me it was like that. And then I became reluctant to be out, without knowing I had a stash somewhere at home or a safe place.

I got very good at not drinking in public, or with anyone at the end and then went home or somewhere where nobody knew me.

My Feelings

Angry, bitter and twisted that I need give up or quit my best friend. And I felt it was the only thing holding me together. Worse I was hooked without a doubt and that just made me angry inside and raging about being a weak person without willpower.

First thing if you feel able

Keep reminding yourself you have a medical condition which needs help and support to overcome. No one makes it first time in my experience. Apart from a few, a very few. And most people die from alcoholism much sooner. As we often know we will not die tomorrow, we put off the day so long we end up with all sorts of problems.

Get medical support to deal with the physical need to drink. And be wary of detoxing on your own, it often leads back to an even bigger binge and worse things can go wrong if we are out there and out of control.

Keep to people you trust. If the group you are attending helps, then keep with their programme.

Second

Learn from anyone you can identify with, and find some place to share your troubles. Girlfriends and family cannot really understand unless they too face this situation. And you are right that other people cannot cope, its not their fault.

Third

Alcoholism is no oneís fault and no one, yourself or family can cope when you are drinking. They have to leave you to it or you cause them so much grief, well you know this. Unless of course they are drinking too. So its not easy to get going with others with drink in your face.

Four

The first key we need know itís the first drink which sets us off. So if you can do one day, then you have achieved what works.

For me its just one day only. The consequences of not drinking for a day, is a day I can have my choices back. Of maybe face up to some of my ruinous behaviour.

Always its for one day only. Then itís a manageable amount of time.

Five

There is no blame anymore. Forgive yourself, forgive anyone who led you to drink and forgive every girl who broke your heart. Forgive your family for the genetic cause, forgive anything and everything. Most of all forgive yourself for being just one thing, a human being a day at a time.

Six

Donít worry. Keep sharing and telling your story to people who help you in your group. And forgive them too for having no answer to make it all better. And forgive them for any prejudice you hear about others or other ways to quit. Your way to quit is your decision and no one else can decide this for you. Especially in AA which I thrive on, I know everyone is or was barking mad. so we can be very angry AA is just a fellowship, and cannot be blamed either, as its fellows are just one day clean, even if its for decades and they are still bonkers. Sober and bonkers, that not quite fair, or maybe it is. Your path need be yours.

I don't do God by the way. This puts a lot off AA, the God thing! I find Ghandi helps, he said "God is truth." I can cope with truth as my deity, and my higher power. Surprisingly it makes me non judgmental and lets others rave about God without disturbing my understanding - simple Truth a day long.

Seven

And this is a real hard one, no one will have ever told you that you donít have to drink again. Especially our own heads say its ok and I deserve another one!

So my best suggestion [xxxxx] is never try to do this on your own. Will power kills alcoholics. Alan Carr is somewhere in this.

I have experience of other ways

The health service in London were brilliant. Rehab was useless for me but helps many. If you have health cover maybe that might be possible [rehab].

Above all forgive over and over, yourself and anyone who hurt you and can give you grief which leads back to drink and oblivion.

Finally for now

Be yourself, be forgiving as you find each day sober can be a real milestone. The first 90 days are the worst and really horrible.

We stop sweating, we get so angry it makes us homicidal some of the time. We stop the shakes, we feel better with ourselves gradually. We find we have anger all the way to push us back to drink.

Remember you have spent a long time getting to this point, it would be a waste of your life if you kept on the path of drink. Because as you get better and sober, you have the experience, the strength and hope to help others! And you get to keep your girlfriend or another one who gets to know you sober. girlfriends get suspicious of sober blokes I have found. We don't bend so easily. We love better and more deeply tho!

A lot of words for you,

As for AA, if you hate it enough, itís a good start! If you choose another route then keep safe with it.

As with any fellowship or programme, those who get it are a blinking irritation. So be aware that "do gooders" will be around and will test your temper.

Stick with people who offer suggestions and not solutions. Your personal path is yours and be yourself to find the person you really are without being a drunk I guess.

Next step?

Keep safe, share everything with those you trust and give yourself a break for being human. We humans learn or die, same as other animals on this planet. Life is short enough.

Best wishes Don




29th October 2006 [All about Last Year]

[from XXXXX] Hi Don,

Just a short reply I like an ending.

Coldplay...that took me back. My favourite of all the newer groups around. Took me back to re hab. 'clocks' was my song then. I spent many evenings sharing an earpiece listening to that

I do understand your reasons for moving on. And this post has left me with a lot of thoughts. About moving on. And an e mail this morning about reasons not to stay in touch. It almost seems as though things are just meant to be. The thing is, there are no reasons at all. Thatís the hard part. No reasons, no denial, just acceptance today.

Take care Don, [XXXXX]

[from me Don] Thanks XXXXX

glad we are keeping in touch as this post is ending for me.

Changing patterns and opening Doors - Groundhog Day

As we go through life, we do have opportunity every day to make changes. Some changes for the good, some for no reason fathomable, some because we need a fresh challenge and outlook.

Its good to retain important connections and learning as we go, and at the same time we might wonder which way is the right way. Often the right way is simply to do something new, in good conscience and in the spirit of letting go and making room for new experiences.

Sometimes we cling to familiar things and we feel worried and concerned if change is too fast. Some of this is familiarity being lost, and some fear based on the unknown. We know least about ourselves most often, simply because looking in the mirror can be a painful reminder that we have left to look forward to, and there is more behind us than we might really like.

Moving forwards becomes more of a challenge as we let go familiar things which have served good purpose, because we have value and time invested in them. I feel like this with the BBC post, its been very good to keep the exercise going and has helped one or two people along the way. If its worth it, maybe another similar venture may start. By me or someone else. Or in another way which has reach and impact. I have no clue today.

Its been a little frustrating having to keep to home turf and rest and recuperate today. And thatís simply my world and some options are limited. And at the same time I choose new ventures and moving along. Action and movement keep us interested and interesting. A scary world most of the time and we need only realise its our fear of unknown which holds us back? Or injury of things beyond us as we change over time. If and buts and maybeís, the stuff of living and action is about purpose. We need purpose and beyond living the same groundhog dayÖ

Change is Uncomfortable

Indeed for all concerned as we do change, so others change to accommodate, or not as the case may be. And sometimes people prefer the old us, as this is how they relate best. Or the downside as we move on is that the nature of the relationships change radically.

Inclusion Control and Love

In a roundabout way the foundation of Freudian works. Human elements of character around inclusion, love and control run deep through us. As these elements change in our behaviour and outlook the rest of the world is wishing us back the way we were. And often so do we, which is why addicted types like me breaking old patterns and moving into new territory represent good change but also change which takes away all predictability. And certainly can be confounding all round.

As our need for inclusion, whether we want or express it, changes quite radically as life deals us our new cards in recovery. Control can change too, we want to be less controlled or more in control of our world of choice, and our relationship with the concept of powerlessness alters to externals like people places and things. And the internals of power and choice take shape, as we become more individual and authentic.

Love, needed and wanted, and how we express our love changes too as our minds become clearer on where we may go. How we conduct ourselves in sobriety creates new worlds where we have choice, that we make a choice in love and how we share it. These elements run to the very core of living and can be so fundamental in their changes they make us awkward and prickly people for a while as we adjust.

Fortunately around all three elements we become more adept in and through time and our behaviour becomes more consistent with our internal balance as we live soberly. Or we become what some refer to as dry drunk, that is our behaviour and internal beliefs find themselves at war and misunderstand the transitions. Where we feel we have changed our behaviour and our attitudes remain unchanged, there will be war inside and outwardly this manifests in any way it will, usually an "act" to the world of being ok when inside is outrage and turmoil, often leading to psychosis.

So to now

As I drift away from the self esteem postings and go back to another set of writings for my website. Well it was good to try and explain what recovery and a day in the life of a newly sober person might include.

And I feel good about the contacts which have arisen because of it. Some in my local area know of the posts, and have made comment of their usefulness. Others were very wary if they were to continue too long, and shared my view they had limited life as anonymity and all that means would be compromised. My view too, as time heals and new things and elements come into life. And much of next steps is not about self esteem for me, as new challenges are possible because self esteem is better understood and lived.

New living

There is much more to say and more appropriate places to share what happens next, as I mentioned elsewhere on the gigantic world of the web. Thanks BBC for letting me post so long. I will pop up and be about. But not daily and most likely not adding to this post. All changes as time develops our outlook and connection. For now farewell BBC and hello and back to the world commentary elsewhere. Don Oddy aka DonInChelsea.

-/-




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You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Archive October 29 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'





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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.



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