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Archive October 27 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
















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October 27 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Inspections

I feel good. I was on my out to a meeting of AA and my brother rang to say he and family were in Lucan Place, where I live these days.

So he and his wife and the three nephews have inspected my flat. And have gone away now with approval it seems. I am glad they came around, it is very good to see them whenever. And we all went for a pizza last night. Good company and just very ok moments actually. It’s a great moment.

There were times I would avoid all contact with family some years back, when my life was completely ruined by illness and addiction. Which came first, I ponder sometimes and realise the truth is how I am today. More able and relaxed and in command of some of my faculties.

Saying Yes to and No to

An invite to the museums just now. I declined even though it felt right to go. I know too much walking will undo me pretty quick. And then time recuperating is prolonged.

I realise its just ok to say yes, and also the ability to say no.

Ghandi - "An emphatic no is better than a half hearted yes."

So now I have time to collect myself and get along. A meeting of AA missed this mid morning, its ok as I had no commitment to be there, just a tentative inclusion not confirmed.

So much to do?

I don’t seem to have enough time to do the things which interest me these days. I am still appraising what next gently.

The last few days though have felt better and more positive. What I do I need choose. What I give in the way of a message seems key just now, and I have no clue for how long.

[Excerpts]

Dear xxxx

I don't feel you need make any apology. We are all learning, and truthfully we find our path and what works for us.

Sometimes we need to kick at the boundaries, get mad and feel we have just cause. Absolutely no one ever makes life easy for themselves. Ask me in ten years!

Always I have and will have respect for you and your endeavours, every human who strives and sees things which feel wrong, and they might well be wrong need voice opinion and find outlet, or we really never resolve anything. There are many who would be cross and feel mad at what you have said, yet everyone must have considered long and hard all issues, then made their minds up and changed them again a thousand times. we humans are allowed to do this in our world so far.

As far as amends go, its always us who are hardest on ourselves.

I feel most people would suggest we all find our path. That we can fall out with AA or any other fellowship. That we may not ever go back or need to as we can find other ways to have a happy life..

What counts in the end xxxx is simply you being comfortable with what works and makes for a good life for you. And actually I always respect a man or woman who works at life and finds the path that suits them. I have found judging others a waste of my time and makes me the prisoner as they walk free and clear without a care.

Its always right to challenge and sometimes we just find better ways to do this.

My days as a heretic are far from over, and I will feel the pain of it as well, its part of what we do I guess.

I am glad you are safe, and whatever works for you, then we know, and are not afraid of the hard work! Like you I am not for a quick fix anymore, and working hard at life is key. You do this and all power to your strength and determination to make good as you feel is right.

I for one am happy you challenged me, and its good for me you did. Amends - is you being happy and living to your choices and good conscience - and not mine!

At peace with yourself is the key. Keep safe and if time and opportunity and of course wisdom suggests you need take opportunity then be consistent with your values and conscience.

And some like me need a kick up the backside for us to check we are not heading for the cliff and the ocean beyond..

Keep in touch and be free xxxx you deserve a good life of your choosing.

Regards Don

Thanks now I understand the context.

I did some adhoc work with the Huthwaite Research Group, very much grounded in scientific study of behaviour some 15 years ago. They were profoundly certain of their scientific rigour. And in essence they were pretty good at establishing positive and affirming models to help a work force of some 20,000 make the difference in their performance.

Always the human element and emotional factors played their part in outcomes and conditioning. the attitude and behaviours were strongly influenced by environment and motivation.

Whilst the scientists were happy with their research, the results were distinctly patchy and overall hard to quantify.

I suspect your good self and application and patience had a lot to do with outcomes. Anyway not sure why I mention all this.

In my opinion I am far behind where you are in understanding behavioural science. And feel its better for me I am.

As to the job I do? I need one most likely, however with what I do and other medical factors, it is not on my agenda presently to test out my robustness. Indeed you are right about my employability, not in these market conditions or on advice of medical people.

Meanwhile I wish you well and best wishes Don




27th October 2006[all about last year]

[from me Don]Hi XXXXX,

this particular observation by you is crucial to me. having got my way to the streets, and then the road back, well it is not easy. And it took a lot of help from professionals and a compassionate group of people at the local council emergency unit, to help me have a roof over my head.

The ups and downs and then back to the middle is the very essence of AA belief. To find that middle path in all respects where we find our balance. And balance is not happy, its just where it is and we can deal with the daily chunk we get, good or less than good.

To be able to get the message so clearly is truly a testament to your listening and your recovery, and I am glad you found your way, exactly your way, so AA is not the only route!! Smiles, I never said it was, but it does keep me firmly on track. Its good to see another way too, so all credit to you and your suporters. Don xx

[from XXXXX] Hi Don,

I've had a strange afternoon. I put my music on as planned, and a large cupboard that needed sorting was my goal! I was in the swing, looking at old photos, cd's and 'stuff'. I found a bottle of unopened Vermouth, hidden in with a few things. It's funny really, but my first thought was how I must of hunted high and low, and the strange things that you (I) do when you're not in control. But it did take me back for a bit. Just remembering the chaos that was my life. Vermouth was not 'my' drink, but I suppose with a screw cap it was easier to hide? And in the end I don't believe I was choosy. That makes me sad, as I am quite a particular person, and just so flippin' grateful that I found my way back.

So, I could of stayed put and gone back into the past, over painful happenings but I went out. The drink safely gone, so maybe a few happy sewer rats tonight . And me, maybe a bit stronger, but definitely here in the day!

Hope the arms will be up to typing tonight. Otherwise I will miss my preview . But there again Don, accept the things.....

Take care XXXXX xx

[from me Don] Hi XXXXX,

The arms are ok so far, it being only a few hours. I am sure the swimming will help. Its never easy to judge quite what the impact my be. New uncharted territory getting back to doing exercise. I was a gym nut for years and finding the need to pace everything is good learning all over again. It is very good for me to relearn another element of living. And rather than go again tomorrow will follow suggestions and keep it to three times a week all things permitting.

Cycling, my word what a difference for my feet, as the "dogs" are barking less, I can enjoy a perambulation, rather than avoid it or grit my teeth. So a gentle trip to Sainsbury’s, just moments away will be minimal aggravation tomorrow. And its good to feel some achievement on the physical front. So as well as weight loss, although I feel a bit of a gain recently, overall the trend is positive.

Finding a reminder in the cupboard of what we used to think helped us cope with life, or just blot it out. It could have made for a depressing reminder, at the same time though being able to chuck it away, and let it go, is symbolic in itself. A work in progress XXXXX!

If we had no reminders then we may become forgetful or just plain defiant, and take a chance which might lead to all sorts, beyond our wildest nightmares. Mind you even if the worse were to happen, the fellowship is quite clear, just keep coming back till some magic is felt again.

Tonight the second part of the Twelfth step!

Yes this was the second bit of what I would have done last week. And our sharer was so together and so clear, it fair made me glad to listen and soak it all up. I made up in my missing this opportunity, doing a step eight talk Monday at another venue. So it balances out, and our secretary for this meeting has me pencilled in for later in November he mentioned to me in passing.

What I learned?

Loads about what I believe this programme is all about. Maintaining a daily balance wherever that may be. Its not a programme of happy pilgrims actually, although the majority of us thrive in company. The balance is simple, doing the next right thing will lead to an improvement in one or more than one of three areas of living, emotional, physical and spiritual stability. Being stable does not mean its all jolly, we can be stable and balanced and really peed off, even clinically depressed, or as happy as a sand person! Its knowing where we are what is happening which makes it all work. Thank goodness its not happy clappy, indeed it can be mad angry, or sad and buggered up. The point is we know what to do next, and its only for a day. We can influence our mood and other things to an extent. And we also know when to accept the truth and how things are.

So our speaker tonight was many years sober, and he said something I did months back here, that we never graduate from the programme and we are all just one day at a time sober. No one is ever ahead of the game, we are merely equal to living this one day! And as they related and we all know with this disease it can grab us when we least expect it and make us start the day at a time all over again. Less likely as we keep with recovery as we don’t even think of the drink. And we give up more bad habits along the way, I guess we like our emotional well being as much as anything and the spiritual on top is a bonus.

God and Good Conscience

This does not need debating but keeps us on our toes in early days. Whether we believe or not arguing about it takes our mind off worse things we could do to change our moods. And for me, good conscience works really well as my higher power, and the issue of God, well is a matter of personal faith. To argue it is useful, to live with good conscience works remarkably well, and if faith is inside us too, then so it will be. But it matters not in the end, as Einstein suggested there is purpose behind everything in this calm and violent and forever Universe. And to argue the case for or against God, well it means for each side on the polemic, she, he or it exists in our minds eye. Good conscience serves all humanity equally, what more need be said. I have faith in humanity and the good of God of my understanding, and just an o separates the difference? Or everything...

So tonight we got a balance of everything in the twelve step living, which is step twelve. it’s a sort of summary of action and understanding everything which makes the fellowship and us simple complicated and argumentative people live in peace and harmony. There is unity in our purpose (very Einstein, smiles here).

So I listened happily as many shared their journey and most of all I enjoyed the listening. I had read the step in the Café next door before going in to the meeting.

Café and seeing people from over a year ago

Yep, a friend came out of nowhere and said hello as I sat having finished my studies and coffee. I had been enjoying the sights of the King’s road. Mainly the good looking people enjoying late Autumn sun. And getting on with half term. Much merry chatter and squawks as tall tales were told of recent times. I loved it, just hearing and being. Its good to just be!

So Tonight

I feel ok, my head is on straight as it can be and my bod aches, smiles again. And that’s just fine. And enough for this day…

The twelfth step, so integral and so easy to live as we learn a little bit as we go along. The work in progress, sometimes quick most often slow and almost imperceptible to us, is seen in us all and most often from those we have not seen in a while, like tonight and old friends met yet again, and we will be there next week. We just keep going back, so simple it seems, smiles and worthwhile just a day at a time..

Till tomorrow XXXXX, and the Friday night biggy, not far away, a place where people gather and see old new friends, more on that tomorrow.

And I see your courage XXXXX, sorting out old memories, it takes strength and resolve to do this. Admirable!

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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