October 7th 2006
Anarchy rules OK? - Our Fellowship
Well what would our fellowship be if we were all the same? Following on from yesterday’s meeting, (that was Thursday as this post will not appear till Saturday) I feel good about being in the fellowship of AA. A bunch of people keeping sober at day at a time and completely different in personality, job and everyday life. So different except for the same thing, we don’t drink a day at a time.
Well its been pretty good. And I went to Argos to take some stuff back which was faulty and they were really good about it. I forget people can be nice when we keep receipts and know what’s wrong. It was a really heavy bag and made my body complain. I am frustrated a bit by limitations, but happy to know why I have them. That is manageable.
And getting to see the Cat this morning, it seems her Radar knows her owner returns today and me the Cat sitter will be gone. There we a few snarls this morning as she caught me unawares with her food preparation. Anyways it was uneventful.
He was really interested in my past today, as I chatted about what I used to do and how things are now. Seems my transition to a different life, from a City Career, with all the trappings of success, to a more frugal existence and acceptance of my lot, well it is a big change. He seems to see my situation for what it is and me too. Living on the minimum as government decides, with support where I can get it. I am managing the diabetes and its onset ok, and the pain management is working to an extent. We agreed my medications were ok and there might be improvement over time in the clinical depression and cycles or waves with ups and downs. And the reality I guess, that it’s a part of me.
I am to keep with my daily routines, type 1 diabetes management, monitoring and pain assessment, see him sooner rather than later if things go off course. And keep a close watch on my mood and what is happening. My journal helps me do this as I go along. And the stuff about checking my mood and feelings daily helps a lot to ensure the regime I am on is working as best it can. Nothing makes things the normal we might imagine, we just get where we go to! And this is the heart of any recovery from any condition, being realistic about where we are and the possibilities we have as a consequence.
He also said he was willing to be a contact point for any agencies who need more information about me, from the Dept of Work and Pensions, to GP and local authority for reasons of emergency housing, for this particular homeless person, this is a relief as he knows me better than anyone else, apart from me of course.
And we agreed I do need to check out the other stuff with my hip and back, old accidents which are aggravating my pain and exercise regime. You know riding the bike, well its ok as long as I don’t go too far, and end up unconscious with a hypo, or in so much pain I get stuck somewhere! Smiles this dumb fool can do this as I always try harder, when being more considered is better for me!
An afternoon of
Chucking out rubbish and stuff. I seem able to collect paper and circulars, and things pile up quickly.
And it was a great meeting for me as I was able to listen and hear well. I arrived early and was able to speak with a few friends I know, as we do. A loose alliance I have to say. And catch up on people’s weeks.
The meeting confirmed my view we are all a bunch of diverse personalities, prone to our own path and individual way to make recovery work. And we use fellowship, a bunch of suggestions and some traditions to make us the best fellowship ever. One which works, tolerates all and is equal in its response to everyone. No leaders and just fellows all equal to living a day at a time without drink. The good news, we all learn from each other, life ain’t perfect and we all **** it up regularly as we get our wisdom! And we all know we keep coming back even when the worst can happen and that usually is to drink again. Even if we do, we can keep coming back and find help and support whatever the consequences are, as we find a way to make life work. Its definitely a "kinda magic" in my book!
Well if I can dodge the rain I’ll use the bike, I had to tie it up outside as I have run out of energy to get it up the stairs. Two meetings hopefully and see my family, now no doubt brown from their holidays. it’s a few years since I went anywhere! Just as well, recovery is a full time job in itself in early days. And I am in year three, a youngster.
We are always Newcomers
And I need remind myself I need to be careful to keep my outlook fresh and treat each day as a new one. Do all the right things to keep my way of life clear and understood, and remind myself I am always new to this present day, the ever present, present. Now that’s spiritual as all the philosopher’s show, it is the connection to this moment in time which helps spiritual development. Our connection may be improved as we learn how, through meditation and learning and most of all application of our full awareness, without filters to the here and now. And that is the essence of living in the moment.
Mind body and breath in the here and now, as ancient a reflection and understanding of Providence and Nature as it is and will ever be. May good conscience be my and our guide today…
Copyright © Don Oddy