Archive October 4 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
























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October 1 - 7 2007
copyright© don oddy

October 4 2007

DonInLondon - ĎDay In the Lifeí Not the Only One

Not the Only One

Why do I write my journal? For me of course and to share mostly that I am not the only one with? I wonder how many faults and defects I might have. Its never good to dig to deeply all at one go with our living and how we are.

I am not the only alcoholic on the planet

And in recovery these days, but times were that I could hardly face myself at all and still go out, do work, do my career and come home and drink to oblivion. It was a set pattern for me. Pretty well on my knees with desperation to find a little bit of me with sense and enough courage to stop the habit of a lifetime. Drinking away my feelings and sadness.

It help also to be depressed because then as blackness engulfed all elements of living, it was only right to keep on drinking and going for destruction.

I donít know I ever had a clear thought or applied the rules to me. I could see everyone else, their faults, their goodness, and their successful living. For me though I felt less than, not worthy and then got really resentful about my life. For all the good I did, I could feel no happiness or success. Indeed success seemed to tip me over to drink more and hope one day things would change. Of course it would not.

Old Life

I was asked to do a chair last night, and at the same time the person asking was unable to attend, as corporate life had dictated a different evening for them. And I know there is nothing to be done as corporate life requires anyoneís full attention, off the ball for too long and there is no way back to it. Workaholics of the world know, if you ainít there you lose the plot and there is no picking up the ball when the playing field changes by the day.

Old Corporate Days

I had my finger on the pulse of people, I could see what was going on, the context, the plot, the impact. And I was good at what I did. Seeing the global picture, sifting out and refining how to live in the world of money and more money.

Broken

I am glad these days I am broken and can never return to those ways of living. Broken? Now repaired, now different now finding me in this crazy life.

A nervous breakdown or two or three later. And today my outlook is very different. No longer in the money, no longer worried I may miss something, no longer the corporate animal who will work till dropping is all I could do, and still keep going and working, and then after it was all over? Drinking my sadness and living in desolate times. Just plain black and filled with terror.

Fond Recollections

I do have fond recollections of wonderful people, success a plenty yet it was always tinged with doubt. Making money lost its appeal along the way. Repellent for me as it had warped my values and almost made me happy to be a corporate raider, a user of people, places and things. I lost my connection to me, and now slowly it is being restored.

Knowing the Difference

Seems to me as time has moved along the ailments or as some might like, attributes of success which made me able to be a workaholic are currently
Are under review. These days so many things impact on me, more than ever before and yet I find a better balance, some peace and some joy, and still deal with the dark of my default through clinical depression.

A Friend Shared

After doing my part in the meeting, sitting at the front and sharing my experience strength and hope, a friend shared their understanding of what their clinical depression made life like for them. It was as if a mirror had been held up, as if in a few moments another mind had got inside me and shared my insides out. Rather than fear reactions and revulsion, there was understanding and some ways forward to help me on my way.

A Day At A Time Of Course

And in moments I saw my progress and not perfection in making good a life with every advantage of wisdom learned these last few years. Its not always good, and often it has sadness so profound the tears and pain are real and churns inside as if gripped by some phantom without form or control.

Happiness

Comes as it may as does sad and less profound times. Today and this morning I feel ok. Out of a workaholics nightmare, and yet more busy in keeping my life on track than ever.

Neglect

In all my living as hedonistic as it may have seemed to others, my escapes were always work, and of course, wine women and song. Yet for all those magnificent moments in the very best of intimate company, I was lost and without much of a clue.

I neglected me and made life fun, made life work for so many and had no way to understand or fix myself. Until I got fellowship!

Fellowship Today

It may be a fellowship which seems preoccupied with drink and sobriety. And it is and its not. We stop drinking, we find a life as it may be, we find wisdom and sharing every day. And we connect and realise we are not alone.

As we come to believe..

We do, we get our faith in being human and just human. Some find many other elements o living which always felt out of our grasp. Some find their God, others find humanity, and somehow we all get along in the end. We get our choices to live back again. And oddly as I have found, the answers are personal the choices are as we decide, and we get more than we ever bargained for in this living we make good for a day.

Just for today, from the bleakest outlook any human may have, and me too, we sense and make sure somehow in some way, we will be just about ok.

We go best with the flow of life, gaining wisdom, making choices and not being stuck one way. Till later.




October 4 2006 [ all about last year]

School of Hard Knocks - Life

Sometimes we can get caught in the enthusiasm of life and be persuaded to look again at who we are and what we have. We all have ideas and notions of what is right for us, and this is helped by others views and connections to our living. And this can cause us to review and make assumptions based on wants and not our needs in living.

Getting about

Doing the cycling, still not sure this is such a good idea as other parts of me now complain about being used. But this may be change in regime and not some longer term incapacity. I detect though that age is catching up with me somewhat. Not a bad thing but I will need to rethink what I am able to do. The Neuropathy is very obvious to me now, and its not just my feet.

I just sent a note to my Sister in Crete to let her know her cat, Tiger is in a reflective state at home. Tiger cat is tolerating my interruptions and feeding regime. I am glad to help out with this, being trusted to keep an eye on and care for Tiger and check on the house. And my motherís too. This may seem a small thing, but in my life its important that simple trusts are kept these days which makes up for the liability I became for quite a while in my drinking days.

Wants

Some of my friends, not too many I have to say, in and out of the fellowship seem caught up in life and big wants. Want to be this and that, want a better income, want a better career, want to be in a relationship. Wanting to have more than is needed? I donít think they do, in terms of their life and where they are now. Yet they seem to want the same things for me too. And this is making me a little uncomfortable.

Needs

I need to keep my life as simple as can be. Simple in the sense of what needs to be done daily and what I need to make sure my living does not get stressed or too full. I realise that keeping needs simple is making sure I keep three elements of extras I deal with possible. I know I go on about this a lot, and need to. Recovery, type 1 diabetes and clinical depression do not go away.

My friends donít have these three elements combining all the time to hamper getting on with their lives. And because I donít share the regime of keeping stable with them, they often forget I do have extra simple processes to ensure life works. Simple processes, which take time and take me to a better understanding of my needs and the possible.

Wanting things beyond my capacity, wanting to engage on the same playing field are not my choices today. Wants will become passions and passions will lead to expectations I cannot match or make happen.

Seems needs and wants are more easily understood by me, now I know the needs and basics, and that some wants just donít fit with my potential life experiences.

Old Work

A friend of mine feels I have potential under used in old work I have done. And while I appreciate his kind words, I know this will cause me grief and undo the simple regime which keeps me well physically and emotionally. Having skills is one thing, using them and then breaking down in the process is a troublesome truth for me. And we need recall, that skills not used may be there, but unless they are used they wither to nothing again. My stamina and capacity is limited, I know now, and others would will it back in me. Self will, will do for me. So I let it slide by me and into wants which make life hell rather than simple and free.

Relationships

You know I am still working on my relationship with me and teasing out the real me and what I need to live. Complicating my life with a relationship? I feel any woman involving herself with me, well they may find me less than satisfactory, simply because its taken this man a long time to get a grip on who I really am. And how to treat myself, let alone care and love a partner as she would deserve and appreciate, I smile and know love will always make this decision for me, and now with a clearer head, time usually sorts out the relationships we develop. And love is never far away.

So I need not want to be in a relationship because I want to look right to others. Or because a relationship defines me or success in life. This is not the real journey or a real partnering, unless that bond is developed as we go about living. Or just be in a relationship as it makes others believe I will be happier so. I am happy on my own presently, and beyond this the pleasure of partnership is about all elements and not adjuncts of life.

Last Night

Last night was good for the meeting I went to keeps me establishing good and useful patterns of life and living. Makes my outlook outward and involved. At the same time, discussions on the phone and with friends helped me see my purpose in helping others, and not to be drawn into others views of what my life is about.

The most important way to live is free from want, covering the needs which make life worth living. Utilising my capacities to their optima and not being afraid of my own path and how that plays out. It might not be as exciting to external eyes, and it does not compare to old times and my earlier life. Actually my life today is better emotionally than it has been for a while, and incapacity in living affords a more balanced approach to what life really is about.

Long conversations about life and where others are headed, they tell me where I have already trodden those tracks, and my road is elsewhere. Not sure where it may go, and that is just the way it may be today. Just for today!

We all deserve a break, in the sense that we all need work hard to be prepared for whatever life throws our way, be it work we can do, partnerships we develop, love that grows for living and others. Love of a good woman, smiles now who knows about this? Time will tell meÖ

Copyright © Don Oddy




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It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.



Don In London
Not for Profit
Progress Not Perfection



DonInLondon London Times
Don Oddy
DonInChelsea London Times
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