Archive October 2 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
























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October 1 - 7 2007
copyright© don oddy

October 2 2007

DonInLondon - ĎDay In the Lifeí Happiness In Living

Happiness

A broad subject. I was watching some early morning TV. Seems like there is no one road to happiness. As there as many people, there are as many roads to happiness.

Memories and in Memoriam

Its three months since my sisterís partner died. A man so complex and full of life and intellect. Sensitive and careful as a human being, Full of compassion and full of life experiences now lost. A hospital service today for people who die in hospital. My sister, mother and me, we will be there today.

It is hard to share the impact an individual makes in this world. And always it is those who know a person best who feel the loss and know also the good of life lived. Unsung heroes, we all have them and most often we are too. We all do our best with what we have and our experience of life.

The weather today is suitably murky as if we needed more to feel the sadness. And always these rituals and traditions are here to help us realise that every human has their place in the hearts of those who knew them.

Yesterday

A good day overall, although the rain came down in torrents. I went to hospital for blood tests and to check my appointments for my specialist visits. Seems the computer system has lost me as things have been updated. But good that I am still there somewhere on it.

Much changing of my website codes kept me busy and it is quite a laborious business. I am glad I took my camera out Sunday and the pictures are interesting to me, studies from life and a an afternoon on the Kings road in Chelsea.

Fellowship

The last day or two I have been to meetings and the change in the season does affect how people feel. Its that interim period, and Autumnal weather is giving many including me head colds and cautious feelings. We are animals after all and are always affected by our environment.

Last Nights Meeting of AA - Alcoholics Anonymous

All About [AA] us! Recovering alcoholics. The fellowship meeting in the Boltonís, all about our steps of changing back to normal life.

Step 9 - Amends

Our ninth step of change is about making our amends to others about our behaviour. The twelve steps are merely a way of clearing up the debris of life in addiction and finding a way to live in peace. Making amends to others needs careful thought. Sometimes the nature of any of our bad behaviour means there is nothing to be gained by saying sorry, as an apology would never work or make anything better. And in trampling on the feelings of others has no benefit for anyone.

Amends start with ourselves in recognition of what we may have done, then coming to terms with it and changing our way of life. If we donít sort out the past, it invariably causes more pain along the way.

What is apparent is the amends made come as they will in time. The answer is to be prepared to make them, unreservedly for our part in what happened.

Expectations of Amends

All we do is know and understand, we are ready to make amends as they can be made. There is no two way street in the process, all we may do is know our part, and assuredly it is not a tit for tat exchange. What others feel and think, their response is theirs and we may not challenge or ameliorate our part in life.

We Learn

We learn what works best these days and in principle owning up to human mistakes and behaviour as it happens puts us on track to make less of the same mistakes. And the we can go on to make lots more mistakes as we get sober and live as we may.

We simply learn to live and take responsibility for ourselves and not either hide from our mishaps and sad deeds in this world or offer token sorrows for what we have done. We get more real about living with care for others as well as ourselves.

Always progress, for we need make mistakes and progress, never ever perfect!

My experience of step nine in life, its all about learning, all about acceptance, and all about being true to open honest and willing. Its all about owning our behaviour and whenever the time affords to offer and make amends as time enables. It is not about blame , and actually helps us realise the blame game and the inclination towards retribution is unhelpful as forgiveness finds its way.

We live as we learn to live, best find better ways to live and learn and own our journey of life.




October 2 2006 [Last Year]

Do the Next Right Thing

Blimey what a day of dodging raindrops and blustering winds. And having a pretty ok Sunday in amongst the angst around at the moment. Seems like the world is really feeling the strain, well my friends seem to be feeling a lot of painful things. And for me? Its just reminding myself to do the next right thing.

When the world feels a bit odd to say the least and there are a thousand opportunities around which might make equilibrium seem a million miles away, just doing the next right thing is maybe the best solution.

I have had a cracking day in many respects, I have seen the Tiger Cat twice as needed to ensure her welfare. My Mum, Sister and her Partner are happy in Crete and weather is spectacular, according to the &blackberry; device they have with them! I have been to two meetings today as planned, smiles not the one I had planned tonight as there were problems with a key and the lock at one venue. It may have happened I donít know. But anyways.

My fellows are like the natives, restless and quite peed off with a lot of life, I reckon it may have something to do with coming back from summer holidays and the start of Autumn, and a lot to do with not going to as many meetings as they do usually. But now they are back, normal will come along when it will, without any willpower being exerted. Indeed it seems we mess up most when we get wilful in our thinking and less willing to listen to others points of view.

My learning themes today:

Doing the right thing and needing to be happy

Seems there are differences in doing the right thing and being happy. Or are there? Seems we feel like we have things we need to do, obligations, rules and regulations we must observe, constraints and boundaries. All these things can get in the way of our happiness. Or do they? Good questions we need ask ourselves.

The problem seems to come from inside me, the I feel, why and what can I do. I start feeling something and think it to death before the next thing I know, I am out of whack with everything.

Work, family, places things, especially it seems people can really make our lives so difficult, and all we are looking to be is happy.

This was the theme this morning at my 9-00AM bash down in Chelsea. Smiles it was touch and go if I would make it on time, I did. I donít enjoy being late, it spoils my mood. But I got there in just good time.

Monday morning

Well I got sidetracked a lot last night so some of this is written this morning. My feelings about yesterday are the same though. It was a good day for me. At the same time I recognise I need be careful.

After the morning meeting, I was invited out for a coffee and ended up in good company with some of my fellowship. I had just enough food to keep me going to the meeting and down to see my Sisterís cat Tiger. And as I was at the coffee shop, I nearly had a hypo(caused by the diabetes condition). I had to have some juice to get my sugar levels back up, to stop the hypo. Not a bad thing just necessary. But a coffee and a juice, here in Chelsea is equal to a dayís food in cost terms. So I need make sure I have something with me next time.

A chance outing for coffee and good company can easily bust my budget, this may seem trivial to most people, for me though its becoming critical as all expenses have gone up this year, gas electric and water, phone which is essential for me and getting help. All those costs are up and I have no extra income, so I am squeezed tight and living on income support affords for no luxuries. Tough and not easy.

Anyways it was a pleasure to be in good company. My friend of some years, at University now, she texted me and it was good to know that life is going right for her. And the inevitable drift to new living means our friendship is more distant, smiles and wistfully there is acceptance in this for me.

A quiet afternoon, with me trying to get the bicycle ready for use. As my feet are still painful after a few minutes walking, the idea of the bike is very much on my mind to get around. Its more risky, but mobility is also an issue which worries me more now. The realisation that I am not as mobile in some ways is another thing to accept.

And then on to the evening:

There was some bad feeling as I got to the venue for last night, the key would not work, the people were a bit fed up and some hard words exchanged with someone who felt they were in charge with another friend of mine over welcome duties. It might sound odd, we do have some &jobs; that need be done to make sure meetings happen and people get the welcome anyone needs coming to AA in early days of sobriety..

Hard and unnecessary words said and feelings hurt, most likely for both of them. And my friend and me set off for an alternative, simply to ensure a bit of peace from otherwise disturbing opinions. It did not work as we became three and headed for another Chelsea venue. We stopped half way, and as we three sat down my unhappy friend decided to go home. So we became two again. The two of us got to know each other better and we had a great evening overall, and I was not able to offer my upset friend much comfort till later and by phone. Now why do things happen this way? They just do!

Evening meeting: Feelings and learning to cope with them in sobriety. That is without any anaesthetic!

(from last night)

This was the theme from just now at the evening in Chelsea meeting where I was earlier, its not like me to go to the same venue at different times of day, but itís a totally different feel and different group of people.

Why on earth am I putting so much into these days? Making sure I get a grip on reality? Or soaking up knowledge or experience or just getting a handle on living again a new way?

(this morning)

Well it was quite a walk to get there from almost Fulham to the heart of Chelsea and I am really paying for it with the &dogs barking; (my feet hurt).

And my back is knackered too, so analgesia works to an extent but the impairment is still there. I must learn!

The other learning from last night was definitely all about feelings coming back after years of suppressing them. Everyone in sobriety had experienced this awful transition back to the feeling world, where nothing is suppressed and feelings are more profound.

Learning how to deal with our feelings is so rudimentary, we might be forgiven for our childishness and petty outbursts as we play catch up with normal people who know feelings better than we do. Or do they? Seems we are not so different really as the world all seems capable of suppressing feeling and not dealing with reality.

At least in our fellowship we are giving it a go and learning how to get things right sized again. And we spent the evening working out how, and listening to successes and less successful attempts at being human.

Denial of truth seemed evident as most of us had made all the usual mistakes in this transition to reality an our feelings told us one thing and reality was quite different. Adjustments take as long as they take, and we learn just one day at a time what it feels like to make every mistake all over again. Hard and good learning from life and our fellows. What a great night it turned out to be!

This morning

On reflection its good, and although I have much to do, and wonder what next, I may ask and seek help. I have another hospital appointment at the end of the week, so some practical advice will be sought. And I need contact the housing department too, I am concerned what next again, as rumours persist, there will be no more housing available soon, there is just none to be had. And this is a worry indeed, as the council cannot conjure somewhere out of thin air and they are as stuck as any council I guess. I have been evicted twice and moved on, simply because available places have shut down as funding and budgets have run out. Its just the way things are..

So onwards, and simply try to do the next right thing. I just need ensure its with consultation and not just my plan, as my plan has no bearing most likely on what is possible and where I may end upÖ

-/-




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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Archive October 2 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'





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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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In the Life





Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.



Don In London
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