Archive September 30 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'



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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.
























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copyright© don oddy

September 30 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Obliviate Is not A Word

Obliviate

Obliviate feels like a word although its not in a dictionary I know. It represents something to me, a state of being out of this world, not of this world by taking alcohol or and drugs to find escape from reality. Obliviate might also be achieved with whatever fix we find takes us away from harsh times and unwelcome realities we can face any day and worse, every day.

Last night, Saturday I had two guests in my new home. Not for the first time, my mother and sister. The first visitors to see my new above with furniture. I have been camped out here for some weeks and have been sleeping on the concrete floor, doing some redecoration and making do with what might seem a bit of a trial. Not for me as being here represents the first home I may call "home" for many years. So a little discomfort is fine by me!

Seeing family is important, and I realise I have spent little time with my brother and his family. Indeed the notion of being with family the last ten to twenty years was a trial.

Two decades of time in depression so bad I chose to find oblivion, drank alcohol as it my life depended, indeed dependence was where I ended up. Alcoholic.

Driven Mad?

Anyone who cannot face life and lives in desolation will know my story far too well. That the cards life dealt, I could not face.

Death

The death of my father in 1991, the loss of my best friend and lover, she had her reasons to leave me and they were absolutely the right ones at the time and not because of me in the main. Although I would be foolish to deny my part in events. I could not face these two losses and turned to drink, then gave it up a while, then became a fitness fanatic, they became an overeater and always, always a workaholic.

Workaholic

When anything and everything went wrong in my personal existence, I ploughed myself back into work. Work was good, it was ethical, it fed my obsessions and kept me pinned into the insanity of perfection.

Perfect

It was everything it promised to be, when I worked like crazy, I felt I gave the impression of all being well with the world and mask was in place. Perfectly ok and perfectly imbalanced.. A perfect wreck of a man who could look right appear right and had nothing left but a façade of everything ok on the outside and my insides smashed beyond repair back to an old me and some place of happiness?

Love

Love had come and gone so many times, it was not love I suspect in the way people grow and live and understand life together. Only once feeling right in those decades I realise and knowing it could not last because the journey for my lover was elsewhere and both she and I knew it long before it happened.

Today and last night

I sit and realise in the silence, life is as different as can be. Facing demons set off in my youth and with a nature given predisposed to a particular outlook, a journey to now was indeed worth it.

AA - Alcoholics Anonymous

A meeting last night and hearing the most harrowing tale of life lived as raw as any including my own, my share was about forgiveness all the way.

Forgiving and Accepting Life

Life on life’s terms. There are a number of times where I nearly perished on the way to today. And with a few lumps and hard knocks, dire and awful times are less often as my mind finds peace in solitude and in company these days.

Just for a day I have a way to live, to energise and deal with all that besets me daily. That even with a few unhelpful incapacities, life goes on and life is not over. Indeed the life just for this day is beyond dreams I may have had.

I don’t know I had dreams as such or expectations from life, as most experiences ended in sadness along my path. Fear was a culprit, and fear of life itself. I had to lose it nearly to appreciate life on life’s terms. As the cards fall.

I know myself a little better today.




September 30th 2006

Stormy Weather

Well I was in a bit of a hurry in the end this morning, was lost in thought and then needed to add a cat visit in and get to the hospital meeting for 8-30AM.

The relapse stuff was because Soho treatment is an outpatient clinic and relapse is just about guaranteed if attending for the first time. So they are cool about it, but three strikes and its over, for a period of time. They do their best to help as best the rules allow. And they know often a relapse means the person may end up dead. As has been proved while I went there.

I have no doubt the content of the presentation has been used some way, so I don't mind it not being me to present. The aim is simply passing on the message that people can get longer term recovery with the right help and support.

Meanwhile during the day I have been busy with history. And this is my post to my journal:

Stormy Weather

Now there is an old song title! Billie Holiday sang it as well as others. Reminds me of one particular girl in my life. Smiles enough of memory lane to an extent.

Mind you I’ve been archiving my files and daily journals. And there are a few years. it’s a strange thing, when I glance, I don’t look too deep, there is a lot of pain as well as joy. And the pain outweighs the joy as they decree. The joy is merely there as an adjunct to long troughs, long periods where life was not what it was cracked up to be. Somewhere success took the fun out of living and living took the fun out of me!

History has its place. Not sure where that is for in it is wisdom. And every other experience we have. There were fun times there too. I must remind myself of the bitter twists there that will do for me if ever I become complacent ..

Anyways there have been stormy outbursts over the last day or so. And this person likes the weather rough, well sometimes. And then there were those days in the Sun, months on end. And where? The Caribbean of course for me.

Golden days of escape and running from a life lost to chance and luck made bad. I realise the bad luck was luck ran out and something else stepped in to make me blanch. Fear cut so deep I recognise its friendless grip on me. And then times where magic potions took all feeling far away, and good sense followed as swiftly in that wreckage of a life. Gone for good, merely a day away, and always there to haunt my shadow.

"Get a Grip" I recollect

Someone used to say this to the world. And that someone made my life revolve around, and made it sour to the taste. A spoiler and rancid individual, better left to others fateful touch. No more in me than any other poison these days. And I’ll not forget. And that wisdom taught will come their way again and again as their life sours and makes no sense of joy. Joyless and extreme, never again my path. Let them go and wither in their own muddle of foolish pride.

And life is ok for me. I am wondering what to share today.

I have a chair, a speaking part, to do again and have no real sense where it will start or end. Best way, so we are always told, we shall see. Mind I do know it will be about experience strength and hope…

Copyright © Don Oddy

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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Archive September 30 2007 DonInLondon 'Day in the Life'





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"The Big Issue"

The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.



Don In London
Not for Profit
Progress Not Perfection



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