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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.









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DonInLondon London Times July 29
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July 2007
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Publish 29 July 2007

DonInLondon - ‘Day In the Life’ Saturdays and Weekends

I am off the plot with my journal I usually write in the evening get my words out before bed. Last night I went to a meeting of AA, a good one on the Brompton Road, at "The Old curiosity Shop" I slowed down and felt I need not write, and leave it to today.

The Day

One of mending and repairing in my head and practical matters like my bicycle after it had been vandalised. I had to bring the bike in, but the journey from outside to inside always makes my body complain. A fair amount of physical exercise during the day and lugging heavy objects and the cramps in my legs and pains in feet manifest, as doing too much and going too far makes everything physical pretty acute. Pacing slowly in the early hours is not some I ever relish as walking cramps in my limbs off, its as hard as what caused them in the first place - going too far.

A chance remark about "visioning" where we imagine our abilities greater, our physicality better than it is, simply means we push too far. After years of health and gym training, the suggestion to push further through the pain these days is not the key to well being. Knowing limits and consequences is absolutely right. Or we simply wear down our energy and for no return.

Self Help and Mind over Matter offer the reader comfort as most people have reserves they never envisage, so there is room to grow and build more. For those in the know about their capacities, to exceed safe boundaries, it simply wears us out and makes us depressed as our heads and body complain rightly.

When we are hail and hearty generally we can push further, when we have age and incapacity, we find new boundaries or suffer greatly just like me!
The answer is too keep mobile, we are not all able as we once were and need learn.

Emotional and Spiritual

All day I found the common understanding in my fellowship of AA keeps me alert to the things I can do, the things I cannot and accept the reality of today.

Feelings have been pretty ok and right sized, as I am able to deal with happy moments and sad moments.

During the morning an overwhelming sadness and desire to break down in Tesco of all places, over family matters and bereavement come and go in waves as they do.

Spiritual and Truth

As my video on AA was uploaded and at the moment I cannot see all my videos, I feel alert to the fact that they may have gone for good. Its not really a problem, each day is a new day. The diaries and videos are cathartic and help me balance the joy and sad of each day.

There are no complete answers, there are more opportunities to find the truth as truth is learned and better in the daily progress to understanding, and not being perfect or better than anyone else

Boundaries and thoughts

Last year this time we had heat and Sun, this years clouds and rain. Weather does affect us, the climate that is and the UK has had a good dose of bad weather.

Ego war and futility, Churchill’s words about last year and Global matters. Going to war, we never ever know the outcome, except in the long run if nothing replaces war, we get more war and long distance fighting as in Empire days is pretty futile

Overall

After seeing my Sister last night and getting home in the ever present rain, I decided not to write and not to video. There is time enough today, Sunday to get on and work out my plans just for today, to rest enough, to empty my mind of too much junk. Not to obsess too much on history, utilise its learning for me.

AA and Fellowship

New people always about, they were fearful of us happier and recovering ex drunks. I could see their discomfort and their shyness. Its as maybe, I hope they keep coming back, so they find a happier way to live, free of bondage and the fear of life most all of us experienced before we got sober.

Fear

Very necessary and appropriate some of the time, not all of the time as we often are even fearful of who we are and have become. Someone often we never wanted to be often, and oddly we are reclaimed in recovery, not to the old self, but to a new self, which offers redemption and peace along the ever rocky road of life. I wish them well.

So enough for now and more later, maybe..




July 29th 2006 [Last years Journal]
Old memories and Endings

Our deep we fear, our fears touch as ego drifts to living

It is strange how memories of times past haunt through the years, something that happens when we are very small, and keeps itself alive in us. There was a time when I feared what might be said about things which kept me worried for years and made me fearful. Punishment for misdemeanours when we are barely old enough to walk and have no understanding, and the terror those memories evoke. Its like that for some or all of us. When we have those memories of times past. The lucky ones forget or don’t register the complaint against our inner selves. They go on in forgetting and let go something others feel with profound worry over subsequent years.

In my mind something made me feel responsible for the hurt inflicted on others. In the innocence of a child’s eyes and curiosity we play and make games of life. And we are inquisitive, we find pleasure in our world and nature. And our young minds suck up knowledge. We make these memories the pattern of life. I witnessed hurt and pain inflicted all those years back over and over in my minds eye. And the memory lingered on inside me as a rotten memory, where fear lurked and shame and guilt at others pain and consequences. I had no right to take on such a burden or feel responsible for the violence of others. For indeed it was violence to others and my involvement in its initiation which hurts me inside. I am able to look back and see the reality and innocence of the innocent and see the guilt of and cover up of adult minds back then. And the shame is not mine or others so young, it is the shame and guilt carried and denied in others which still keeps embers glowing where anger is best lost to time. And then we find the guilty ones are dead and gone.

And it seems my anger went somewhere long ago and kept itself busy in all other activities I might squander in useless fears in life. When our torturers are dead the only one to torture us is inside our own heads. And when the rational adult mind looks back to where those breaks in trust occurred and damaged outlooks, those feelings are confused by knowing no one in their right mind behaves so or makes a rod to beat a mind for evermore.

What gets me over these long years is the consequences not only of those moments of horror for me back then, but the horrors for others too and their lives blighted by the dead. And the dead who lived their consequences and had those burdens too, are no longer able to share their story. Or how it was that they behaved the way they thought was to the good and if it had any good at all. The dead can no longer speak and yet their actions are there in consequences for others. I have no good memories and the bad in truth might never have been so bad for them. Yet the consequences linger on and I am not the only one.

And what good to elaborate or dig up history, where history is merely one child’s eyes and a version corrupted over time. And so corruption wins the day for in truth the memories writ large for me are only small when others read a page in a small child’s history. So small it might have left untouched and yet I know with hindsight’s gasp, the trail of wrong was made so good.

And what good could come of it now? So many decades gone by, and no one wants to know those truths, or share in sentiments so harsh. Better to cover up and get a life worth living in case we find some nasty reminiscence hurts all and has no good for anyone. And ,maybe this is how it ends with death.

I hope so, and yet if ever asked to share I will. And not yet my good conscience suggests and time is not right now, or maybe never right as stories can be left to expire with breath done and harsh memories buried under the sod of time.

It is my feeling now, that if our imperfect world had offered more and better times as children turn to adult lives, these shocks and nasty parts of life will be ended in another’s time. And I see the harm done and know my harm too as incidents for me were merely a brush and others lived full time under the wrath and lash of anger made good in reality. And they still lumber on their path, as good as may be made with those consequences. And the responsible adults back then, so oblivious and unknowing would find no solace in knowing anything now, and it’s the way of this world and how we humans get abused. For if they had known the damage done, how could they put it right? I don’t reckon they were ever equipped to deal with monstrous doings like those. And give all a break as humanity merely learns as slow as life takes, to make changes for the good. We are wasteful in our learning and theirs too as cover need only leave the pain to wound again and again.
Its time inside me for it end to end and let go that nasty fuckers touch. An unreported crime, unrecognised and never to be punished, for in truth its run its course and no good can come of any learning now, except for me in innocence now understood. And forgiven in my mind.

We learn and grow and move on, damage done and harm done. For in truth it would be better if the harm done had been undone long ago. But no one knew back then, how to make it go away. And guilt pervades the mind of innocents, and corruptions mask tilts and casts a shadow over future lives as damage takes its toll.

It is life. And death. Forgiven in our world as can be and left to time to heal. Some things burn as deep can be and linger evermore. That is the gift of memories, and the gift to learn we need not play those harsh memories back and forth, as those patterns are changed to better times and ways of living. Maybe a learning over a lifetime can heal that gap, now I know where hurt was caused and changes made to see the good of living and free from shame and guilt, the blight of ego’s drift. Our imperfect perfect, present day can make good with help along the way, another human doing done, and clears our way to good conscience as in all our learning we can change and make good from bad. Let it be so. The insensibility of time touches all as it will.

July

Stormy Weather

Our fears touched as ego drifts to chaos

As our local weather has rendered incapable physically most people with hot and humid conditions, the same can be said for the minds of us overheated folks in the UK.

People are in a state of shock over local conditions and most likely in a state of disbelief and denial over the international news we are continually exposed to with the middle east. What is happening with Israel and Lebanon and the other borders of the country of Israel. And why now? Should there be a start up of violent and protracted aggression on both sides.

Is it that Israel has found need to flex its might and weaponry as old guards change for new incumbents and with Hammas coming into the frame, are they flexing their might too? It’s the worst of all scenarios, where collateral damage is being accepted on both sides. Warring factions and the risks escalate across the middle east, and of course with their allies and aggressors across the world.

There are power shifts and much to occupy all concerned world citizens, some, not many held a mistaken belief that things might calm down. Now we find the retaliation of Bush over 9/11, it comes home to haunt as ever it would.

Outright war is on the cards as sides are marshalling their allies and making hard and fast lines in hard rock of policy. Times are becoming more polarised and the nations of this world are becoming more fearful of outcomes beyond their control.

Winston Churchill said:

"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events."
And this is what we are seeing more clearly as time passes and more and more nations are pitching in to add their views to International affairs.

What started for Tony Blair and George Bush as an adventure in Afghanistan and Iraq is turning more and more ugly. In those theatres of activity, the war is not won, the insurgency and aftermath completely predictable in its nature has come to pass, the world sees chaos growing and wants it to stop. That is the western world who started this nasty and unlawful action.

I recognise fully the reason for the Bush desire to retaliate and put right a wrong he felt. He should listened to all the counsel at his beck and call, weighed the outcomes with options and left his strategy open to different scenarios.

Bush is a mean minded small spirited man, we only have to listen and we find great holes in his thinking and feeling. Same goes for Blair now tethered to his own egotistical stupidity, the poodle and dupe of his own making. Blair is a spent force and must see his untenable position, yet he clings like a drowning rat to a floating barrel in a sea of pain. Blair is an ugly reminder of capricious and cavalier attitudes we British would do well to leave alone.
As a world citizen, like most appalled by events and without the power, I can rant. And at the same time realise that these organs of government and leaders of the free world are flawed. they are merely human and subject to their prejudice and need for recognition. They are the dross of living in these circumstances. They make our world uglier for their actions and their defence of their horrid and nasty actions.

With little wit we could see the outcomes and the Bush and Blair fiasco is spreading to other nations. They all see the power of their bombs over the words scattered so freely over all their complaints.

And what are the complaints? Once we take away property as the cause, there is pure hatred and racism. Racism and religious intolerance. A failure of all to recognise that mankind if it desires may govern itself a particular way and observe whatever balance in its governance it sees fit.
We had the United Nations, to help and assist oppressed peoples. Now, so hide bound in bureaucracy and administration, it can hardly move. And we then had all manner of unilateral interventions, and mostly started for advantage and protection of something or other to do with western interests. We are failing as human beings and as a race overall. As indeed we might have guessed as we plunge back into power games and economic hardship. Leaders and nations are caught in irreconcilable differences brought about by old ways and fears.

Where the UN has failed in its persuasion to the good, is in its operation and not its intent. And where it has failed more successfully, is at the hands of those who founded it, the strong western democracies who set it up to control the rest of the world and the rest of the world has said NO.

Is it any wonder. As arrogant generations have plundered the aims and aspirations of their forbears? I think so, and it is not surprising as we head into this next thousand years that we find the world changing and power shifting elsewhere. The future power of the world looks on and lets us fight stupid fractious battles and gets on with its own business. It does not care for futile and stupid activities which drain our purpose and resources. Real power is getting on with business, quietly and with purpose to its own agenda, and we on the other hand are caught up in all this madness and stupidity.
Wreckage and belief, loss of face and destruction seem our goals as this whole scenario lends itself to more chaos. Out of chaos comes change, and maybe this very need will be serviced in its most brutal form. A form of degradation only humans can inflict on humans, the most destructive force on the planet next to nature itself. And most likely its own nemesis.
Remember:
"Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events." Sir Winston Churchill.

-/-





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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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DonInLondon London Times 'Global' News July 29 2007


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Guardian Unlimited OnLine July 29 2007


Revealed: MI5's role in torture flight hell July 29 2007




· British source tells of betrayal to CIA

· 'I was stripped and hauled to US base'

David Rose

The Observer

An Iraqi who was a key source of intelligence for MI5 has given the first ever full insider's account of being seized by the CIA and bundled on to an illegal 'torture flight' under the programme known as extraordinary rendition.

In a remarkable interview for The Observer, British resident Bisher al-Rawi has told how he was betrayed by the security service despite having helped keep track of Abu Qatada, the Muslim cleric accused of being Osama bin Laden's 'ambassador in Europe'. He was abducted and stripped naked by US agents, clad in nappies, a tracksuit and shackles, blindfolded and forced to wear ear mufflers, then strapped to a stretcher on board a plane bound for a CIA 'black site' jail near Kabul in Afghanistan.

He was taken on to the jail at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba before being released last March and returned to Britain after four years' detention without charge.

'All the way through that flight I was on the verge of screaming,' al-Rawi said. 'At last we landed, I thought, thank God it's over. But it wasn't - it was just a refuelling stop in Cairo. There were hours still to go ... My back was so painful, the handcuffs were so tight. All the time they kept me on my back. Once, I managed to wriggle a tiny bit, just shifted my weight to one side. Then I felt someone hit my hand. Even this was forbidden.'

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Times OnLine July 29 2007


Flood chiefs get big cash bonuses July 29 2007





Flood chiefs get big cash bonuses

Robert Winnett, Holly Watt and Jonathan Leake

SENIOR executives at the Environment Agency face new controversy after it emerged last night that they received five-figure “performance bonuses” shortly before the recent floods hit Britain.

Baroness Young, the quango’s chief executive, got a bonus of about £24,000 on top of her £163,000 salary. A further eight executives, including the director of water management, shared in the bonus handout last month. The average paid to each executive was equivalent to 10% of their salaries, although Young received 15%.

Details of the bonuses were to be revealed in the agency’s annual report, which was expected to be released last week but publication has been delayed due to the floods.

Board minutes also show that the agency’s top executives privately expressed strong concerns last September about the country’s preparedness for serious floods.

At a meeting on September 20 the board “expressed concern over the inadequacy of evacuation plans in some areas of England and Wales and believed that there may be a serious risk of loss of life in significant flood events”.

Gloucestershire, where thousands of homes have been flooded and at least three people have died, was one of the local authorities that did not have an evacuation plan. Tewkesbury borough council, which covers one of the worst-hit towns, had also failed to make full preparations.

Young, a 59-year-old Labour peer, has warned that water bills will have to rise to cover the costs of increasing Britain’s protection against flooding. Her comments came as residents in the affected areas were braced for heavy rainfall last night. Police urged people to stay at home and not to travel because of fears of further flooding. Severe flood warnings were issued for the Severn and Avon and 20,000 sandbags were distributed yesterday.

In Tewkesbury, firemen recovered a body, the third known victim of the Gloucestershire floods. It was feared to be that of Mitchell Taylor, 19, a local barman missing since last weekend.

The flooding of the Mythe waterworks near Tewkesbury has left 340,000 people without running water and the situation is likely to last for days. There are fears floodwaters are becoming dangerously contaminated because sewers are not flood-proof. Tests have shown high levels of the deadly E coli bug and other bacteria in floodwater, sparking fears of disease.

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Whistleblower: Surgeon breaks cover over NHS beds crisis July 29 2007



Specialist wards full to breaking point. Patients with serious injuries denied care. A health service paralysed by arguments about funding. Martin Bircher, one of Britain's most senior consultants, speaks out. Exclusive report by Andrew Johnson and Marie Woolf

One of Britain's leading trauma surgeons has broken cover to expose the scandal of a national shortage of emergency trauma beds which is leading to thousands of serious injury victims suffering in agony.

In an unprecedented intervention by a senior practitioner in the NHS, Martin Bircher, a consultant at St George's hospital in London, one of Europe's leading centres in the treatment of major accident victims, has revealed a system paralysed by red tape and disputes over funding, which is putting thousands of patients waiting for treatment in specialist wards at risk.

His revelations have prompted calls for a review of funding for A&E services and a shake-up in the management of Britain's leading trauma centres.

Mr Bircher says the problem is worsened by the bureaucracy of the internal market. He has become so frustrated that he has broken free of NHS strictures against speaking to the press and agreed to talk to The Independent on Sunday about the suffering patients are put through.

Every one of Britain's specialist trauma beds is full, which means some patients can wait up to three weeks after their accident before badly broken bones can be repaired. The delay, says Mr Bircher, can jeopardise recovery. With nothing but praise for frontline staff, he says patients who have been critically injured in road or other accidents have to wait an average of 12 days – often in agonising pain – before they can receive the vital specialist treatment.

This is because only a limited number of hospitals have the expertise to repair smashed bones, and those hospitals have a shortage of intensive care beds. With the average cost of keeping a trauma patient at around £500 a day and up to £2,000 a day in intensive care, this is also a false economy.

Reacting to the revelations Andrew Lansley, the shadow Health Secretary, said: "It is vital that clinicians are able to prioritise patients according to clinical criteria. It's only if we dispense with central targets and the bureaucratic burdens of the Department of Health that we can give GPs and local hospitals the opportunity to make services more efficient."

John Pugh, the Lib Dem health spokesman, added: "This shows how counterproductive the target culture is. Patients are being shunted in and out of A&E to satisfy the expectations of Whitehall. Medical staff should feel free to act in the best interests of patients."

Squabbles over funding

Mr Bircher, who risks censure from the NHS for speaking out, said primary care trust and bed managers are involved in making the final decision as to whether a patient can be moved. If they have to move them there is often a conflict or reluctance because the new area does not want an extra cost. So after initial admission to a general hospital's emergency wards, where lives are saved, patients can find themselves waiting up to three weeks before their real recovery process can begin.

Mr Bircher, 52, cited one patient who had a motorcycle accident earlier this month and was referred to him to decide if she needed surgery to repair her badly broken pelvis. However, he did not receive the request for a week because an initial referral to another hospital was "intercepted by the primary care trust" and rerouted to a hospital that did not have a surgeon with the expertise to make the decision.

He called for emergency medicine to be funded centrally.

"These are basic core services that have to be provided," he said. "We shouldn't be sending each other little bills. Trauma and other emergency services like cardiac and stroke services should be top sliced. The money should come from central government funds."

Mr Bircher added that doctors and nurses on the frontline in hospitals should not be criticised. He said they do their best but are hampered by layers of managers whose major concern is the budget rather than patient care.

Delays in treatment

He said: "The delays are caused at various levels. If doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, the treating teams, were left to communicate between themselves without bureaucracy, things would happen much more quickly. In the good old days somebody would ring me up about a patient, I'd say send them across, make one call to sister on the ward and it would happen.

"Now I'm loath to accept a patient unless I'm sure their injury requires surgery. If I'm unsure I ask them to send X-rays. Even in this technological age this can take two or three days. It's not unusual for them to be delayed or get lost.

"It may be decided that the patient needs an operation and we decide to bring them in. There can still be a delay because bed managers are reluctant to accept a patient for three or four days before the operation is due because of the extra costs. So the patients often come in just hours before the operation. It is not unusual for a patient to arrive in the early hours of the morning, a very short time before their surgery.

"You suddenly find the patient may develop a problem and you can't operate. So you've accepted a patient for a slot and then you can't operate. A much better system would be to have a free flow of patients to the trauma centre where we can get to know them preoperatively. But because trusts all have separate budgets, though we're all playing for the same team, there seems to be a reluctance to accept patients at an appropriate time before the operation.

"You can argue whether a patient needs a hip replacement at hospital x or y," he added. "As long as it's done in a reasonable time by a good team it doesn't matter. You can't have these petty squabbles. There just isn't time with trauma."

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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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