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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.









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DonInLondon London Times July 25
London 'Local' Times 2007

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July 2007
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Publish July 25 2007

DonInLondon July 24 2007 ’Day in the Life’ Serenity

Seems like today has been fairly relaxed in many ways. After yesterday being pretty hard with diabetic upheavals in the day and a meeting which in retrospect was good but not quite where I felt right overall, today is better.

Journal entries and the Videos

It would be true to say the writing I may do on any day is not quite the same in content as the videos I usually do when I get home from a fellowship meeting. Somehow the written word has a more considered and slow reveal of the day, as the video comes straight off the top of what is in my mind.

July 24 is a day for good memories these days, it was not always so. A significant partners birthday, and a significant part of hard times. When we have a double hit of grief as I did in 1991, it can be overwhelming, and I know without doubt I did not cope well with the death of my Dad and then the end of a very meaningful and I felt loving relationship.

I look back now with kindness and having let go some time back, at least I thought I had, it is true those times shaped the next few years and eventually as the last thing left to crumble was a career, there was nothing to stop me heading for oblivion.

And looking back, I lost the plot on living at all. It is no ones fault I have to share these days, its just as life turned out and I had no coping mechanisms to stop the halt of oblivion and losing a grip on reality.

Survival to Serenity

For some years survival at all was all I seemed able to do and then the collapse into drink followed, drink had always been there as a back stop and in my living it was a key to letting out desperate feelings I thought at the time. And to an extent it worked, and yet as all things utilised to temporary relief from pain, the medication stops working and we are left with a thirst which is never quenched and suppression is not even an issue. We are just plain lost to life and living.

Serenity

Serenity is a bit difficult with hurt so deep and a loss of sanity. We are simply vessels which process alcohol and live in abject misery. We are far past any self pity and prefer oblivion as much as we can make and then oblivion gives way to loss of all will to live. That is the truth in my case.

If Only?

If only does not apply to human wreckage, and these past few years have taught me over and over that when we get a break and can at least find some respite, we may have a chance to find recovery. My chances in the last chance saloon were well and truly miserable as every time in early attempts to put life back together failed without any help sought by me and a deep resentment towards my weakness and disease.

But

There were plenty of buts and plenty of moments of self will. And self will and willpower were killing me. Self Will and willpower cripple us eventually as we live in the grip of control, and most often end up hateful and dry drunk. Self will is also laced with ego and self pity. All necessary ingredients to survival, but not from addiction and not from living a full life with some serenity some of the time.

Elysium - a life beyond wildest dreams

I will probably share more about this life beyond my wildest dreams another night.

Today and Tonight

Working backwards in my day. Tonight has been very good for me. I spent time with a newcomer, and heard words from those I have got to know in recent years. Its good to know I belong somewhere, and get a sense of identity and purpose from being in fellowship.

I also shared time with a friend at lunchtime and felt better for getting out when all I really needed was rest, and rest came as I did not try bike into central London and get stuck somewhere. My natural urge is to do as much as I can and know the consequences were risky trying to go too far. And yesterday was no picnic with two hypo’s.

Much traffic in emails and a closing of my face book account for now, it serves no purpose for me presently, although I can see the social connections it offers in a way for many not included in social networks.

All connections via the internet serve us well if we are in a good space! Same as face to face and any other form of connections we develop. And sometimes its hard to work out what is good or less good.

Time helps in all these matters.

So for today I feel ok as can be, very off on the diabetic regime, but it will come back, and just for today its been as good as can be.

Minor miracles each day a person with one disease which takes daily maintenance and stays with recovery. The other two I have are as difficult and with the help of fellowship I usually keep to the good as good may manifest. Not as I was back in the day, more so and better in these singular days of recovery.

My diary of last year still seems a little fraught and turgid. I was less able to forgive myself and anyone back then. It is a long lesson learned over and over. No short cuts or fixing, no panaceas, and definitely no simple ways to simple truths.

We learn as we go, or perish in our attempts to find the keys to living, so easily we sensitive types are we need keep a weather eye on a daily basis or slide back to ego’s drift. No me today, and just for today.. love Is all we need




July 24 2006 Journal Last Year

supplement to main entry

We need all seek good Counsel

What a life we have, we are busy in our doing of life. We can be happy and we can be sad. We can be well balanced and off balance. We are never really even across all our living. And while we are happy on some things inevitably we are sad on others.

It is easy to forget we are just human and equal to our current
level of living. And we can be so expert at our living, we think we know
everything. Or we might be the opposite and afraid of what we know and in some way fearful of our living.
Rest easy! We all feel this way from time to time. We can be on
top of all things we think, or we can be in turmoil. We can be so caught up in
the moment, we don’t see clearer perspective on what is going on.

These days I realise I need outside help to help me check out my living. I do this with counsel from whatever source might seem appropriate. I choose someone separate from me, not my friend or my supporter, just someone who has the good of good conscience and wisdom to help me see my life with fresh understanding.

I don’t have a priest, or a doctor or a close relative who does this for me, and actually I prefer it so. It is someone with knowledge and skill, it is someone who has no vested interest beyond the well being of folk in general. And this independent view helps me form better perspectives and
understanding.

Our ability to mistake the way life is and our ability to succeed and or fail at various elements of living is just good for one day. I take heart to have independent counsel available and listening, and not just on my side, just able to ask questions and help me make good choices in good conscience.

Our living is so complicated, we can get by on our own and make a better fist of living with a little perspective not driven by us. We all need our "mentors" I guess, our wise person, and wisdom is from experience and not from our imagination. Were it ever so?

Just for Today

Hot Climate Hot Heads - Inclusion and Exclusion

Is it a climate thing for us in the UK. When the weather goes hot, do we find our passion? Or do we find our hot headed reactions as our temperament is suited to cooler conditions? In my local village, the villagers have definitely been a little restless. I started my day in the early hours where coolness and quiet helped with balance and words to express difficult days and weeks, where I definitely was out of balance and off centre.

It seems we must encounter times like this where we have events and connections which do definitely disturb our routine and happy approach to living.

I set off this morning to an early fellowship meeting and got there early enough to stop off for a coffee in a local café Coffee Republic. I smiled and read a card I keep about me. it’s a card which describes what I might do today. The contents of the card might appear altruistic, and quite quaint, sentimental and even tacky to some. To me though these words are quite useful and way to approach any old day so record them here for all to see. My ‘mantra’ courtesy of my fellowship suggests:

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my 'luck' as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for the exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour sometime, I will try and get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

It was strange to pull out and read, I have not read this card for months, although I have posted it on the web several times. Its my internal reminder how to make the day work, even when its not working too well and make the best of there is to do.

I went on to my fellowship meeting and this ironically became the subject of our morning debate. Just for today when the world is seemingly against me, how do I or we make the best of what there is.

And the meeting was full of sadness and anger, for most days the Dads or Fathers and Mothers who are separated from their family and especially their children were very upset. To be divorced and coping with the loss of their loved ones, to have their children out of reach and out of their care.

I did not offer anything to the debate as they were quite wrapped up in all this. I don’t have children and don’t suffer as they do. Yet like any villager I do suffer what is behind their focus. Being alone and from those I would love in family, being separate and to some extent excluded from large parts of my history because of events and circumstances. But in my case my acceptance of exclusion is best most likely in another way to the torment of blood relations and their exclusivity. I am lucky, for my family are accepting of me in recovery, and in essence have given me opportunity to build bridges as best I can and in time and when recovery enables me.

Inclusion and Exclusion

This thing in us, where we prefer inclusion and love to exclusion and no love. We in our fellowship are as sensitive to these matters as any in all the villages of the world. Villagers get unloved and excluded for all sorts of reasons and most often for unacceptable behaviour.

In our fellowship as we recover, we sometimes forget the exclusion of us had to be so, for we were quite mad before recovery, and while we can find love and forgiveness in our fellowship, we have absolutely no right to be included where we fucked up before. And why? Because that is nature and human fears.

In essence while just for today I can deal with including and excluding, and just for today others decide whether to include or exclude me, I accept my rights and others rights to make their choices on evidence and behaviour and preference.

We cannot neither make others love us or trust us as we have the same problem with others. We learn to do these things.

There are not rights when it comes to inclusion and love, and there are not rights when it comes to exclusion or hate.

It is just how things are today.

As I have recently excluded another from my village, and they most likely are happy, today for me is fine and for them too. And really when we have an idea that we have automatic rights, we are fucked up and unequal in our thinking. We need earn our place and enjoy inclusion because we behave consistent with inclusion. These agreements are only good just for today, for tomorrow I may fuck up again or change my mind. Or others might do the same. So in my world just for today, its simply a way of working out my connecting, not God given, not tacit or law given, most likely earned because I have behaved and found love and inclusion where I am. And as we live we find we will be excluded where we are not welcome, and that is fact. We might remind ourselves

Just for today, I will do something useful, and be included where I am invited, not resent where I am excluded and accept inclusion may never come my way again. In accepting my situation and freedom to live, just for today I will be agreeable, love the world as it may one day love me

Seems easy? Its never easy, until we get our right size and equal to life, and that happens just one day at a time.

And today in my the evening meeting, I met new fellows and old fellows and fellows who really enjoy me, and fellows I had not seen for a couple of years. We were able without any fear of exclusion to get on with being included, sharing some words and some wisdom, as well as some complete bollocks and sadness. So in balance we found a touch of friendship, love and inclusion in a world which has little time often excludes and fucks us up. What a benefit any fellowship can be to us, sober and tortured as normality will always do when we isolate and feel alone and unconnected.

And I smile as some villagers ring my bell, and make me feel more myself and a man, in a man sense. Most of all I value wisdom friendship and inclusion, and knowing the difference with a clear head and open heart from my experiences.

-/-





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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Guardian Unlimited OnLine July 25 2007


Tory voters turn against Cameron July 25 2007




Exclusive ICM poll: Labour six points ahead as Brown gains momentum

David Cameron is losing his appeal to voters, according to a Guardian/ICM poll published today which suggests that many Conservative voters are losing their enthusiasm for the Tory leader. It also shows that he is no longer attracting new support to the party.

The poll, giving Labour a six-point lead, has the Conservative party on its lowest share in any ICM poll since the last days of Michael Howard's leadership in 2005.

It suggests that the Brown bounce is gaining momentum: 21% of voters say their opinion of Gordon Brown has improved in the last month, against only 8% who say it has fallen. By contrast, Mr Cameron is in growing trouble: 21% of voters say their opinion of him has dropped since Mr Brown took over.

Almost one in four Tory voters say their view of Mr Brown has gone up since he took over - and in total nine out of ten voters say their view has either gone up or stayed the same.

Mr Cameron has sought to paint Labour's new leader as part of the past, a tactic that polls before the handover suggested might succeed. Today's results show that it is not working.

A majority of Labour and Conservative supporters think that Mr Brown has brought a clear change to government. Labour voters in particular think Mr Brown is making a real difference, with 60% thinking he is offering new policies and 63% a new style of government.

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Times OnLine July 25 2007


Rail fares to soar as government slashes funding July 25 2007




Ben Webster, Transport Correspondent

Rail passengers face above-inflation fare increases every year for the next decade after the Government announced yesterday that it was cutting public funding for the railways by 50 per cent, or £1.5 billion a year.

Passengers will be forced to pay a much higher proportion of the cost of running the network and in return will receive only a modest increase in capacity. The Government published a 30-year rail strategy yesterday that ruled out a new high-speed line and double-deck trains and made few specific commitments for relieving overcrowding, among them that the number of carriages will grow by 1,300, or about 13 per cent, by 2014.

Upgrades of the Thameslink route and bottlenecks in Reading and Birmingham will largely be paid for by increasing all fares above inflation every year until at least 2014. Season tickets and saver tickets will rise by 1 per cent a year in real terms, and unregulated fares, which account for 60 per cent of the total, will rise by 3 per cent or more a year.

Ministers intend to shift the burden of paying for the railway much more heavily to passengers, who paid 50 per cent of the cost this year but will pay 75 per cent by 2014. From 2009 the annual subsidy for the railways will fall from £4.5 billion to £3 billion. The total collected in fares will rise from £5 billion a year to £6.7 billion by 2010 and £9 billion by 2014.

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Independent OnLine 'Indy' News July 25 2007


What lies beneath the floods July 25 2007



As the filthy flood waters begin to subside, they are revealing a scene of devastated homes. Now there are warnings of a mounting health risk from toxic chemicals and fatal bugs left behind in the wake of the deluge

By Jonathan Brown

The filthy brown flood waters may have been subsiding yesterday but the tide of human misery they have left in their wake was relentlessly swelling.

Few aspects of everyday life across huge swathes of central England have been unaffected by the unprecedented deluge of last weekend. It will be many weeks before normality returns.

The grim task of sifting through possessions was already under way yesterday. A steadily mounting pile of soaked and soiled items seemed to stand guard at every front door, waiting to come under the calculating eye of the insurance loss adjustor.

For more than 350,000 people in Gloucestershire the most pressing issue was not the loss of possessions, many of them prized. The biggest problem remains the lack of clean water after the county's main treatment plant was knocked out.

And it emerged last night that in the event of the flooding of Walham power station ­ which escaped being hit by waters from the Severn by two inches in the early hours of yesterday ­ ministers had drawn up plans to carry out evacuations inn Cheltenham and Gloucester. Yesterday in communities which only a few days ago were coping with little more than the inconvenience of the wretched British summer, residents were told it could be up to two weeks before they are reconnected to the mains water supply.

In the meantime they must queue for bottled water or fill containers at 900 bowsers in Gloucester, Cheltenham and Stroud. The council also issued an urgent plea for portable lavatories.

There were warnings of a mounting health risk from thousands of gallons of sewage and toxic chemicals that have spilled into homes, gardens and streets in recent days. The Health Protection Agency urged people to keep out of the water to avoid contact with potentially fatal microbes such as E.coli. The agency also warned of a sharp rise in stress-related illnesses as a result of the flooding.

A pregnant woman stranded in the floods lost her twins despite being airlifted to hospital. The woman gave birth to the premature twins in her Tewkesbury home moments before RAF rescue helicopters arrived. She was taken by one helicopter, and her babies were carried in another, to Cheltenham General Hospital where the babies died. The woman was 21 weeks pregnant and her family had called 999 on Saturday morning, but floods blocked the ambulance.

Tewkesbury, cut off by the flooded Severn and Avon rivers, yesterday remained little more than a ghost town with hotels ordered to close to guests, many of them stranded tourists, because of the lack of flushing lavatories. Joe Bishop, a manager at the Bell Hotel, where water continued to lap around the historic building, said staff had worked round the clock to stay open.

"The water level is going down a bit but we've run out of water, food, beer and linen and we've been told to close as a hotel. We've still got quite a few guests so I don't know where they are going to sleep tonight," he said.

John Healey, the Flood Recovery minister, who visited the market town as it suffered its fifth day under water yesterday, said it was impossible to rule out a repeat of the severe weather. The Government pledged a further £10m to alleviate the crisis.

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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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