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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.









DonInLondon Life

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Progress Not Perfection



DonInLondon London Times July 24
London 'Local' Times 2007

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July 2007
copyright© don oddy

Publish July 24 2007

Mondays and Acceptance Global - Local

July 23 2007 DonInLondon - ĎDay In the Lifeí

Looking back over my diary entries for last year teaches me much about progress and honesty. I am still not sure how I really felt a year ago. I fear my honesty and the deep hurt I had was suppressed and what kept me on the straight and narrow was much to with realising sometimes we just read things wrong and we behave as we might wish things rather than they materialise naturally.

I realise now there was quite heavy interference at the time and much confusion going on. And actually the times reflect mistrust in me as well as mistrust of advice another had about things in general.

I was quite taken and happily drawn into notions of a relationship. And indeed the idea was floated over and over. Maybe I was slow, and actually I am glad we were both slow and cautious. At the same time there was much gossip going on and sly words. And of course I was not the only one up for a practical lesson in friendship at the time. It seems to me I spent a lot of time in a daydream. And actually as the daydream seemed possible and not discounted it may have worked? I doubt as the compromise both ways was too great. And equally we pulled back. The hurt left reminds me that there was much pretending and needy feelings at the time.

Overall Last year this time?

Looking back through time, well the situation abated and time apart led to better days for me and I forgot the situation had been rather one sided and exploitative. I did go back for more of the same old tosh later in the year which does not surprise me.

Benefit of the Doubt

We do give people the benefit of the doubt and in my fellowship we can be drawn in by values we espouse and wish for in others. This has been a recurring feature in my life, that I have given the benefit of doubt, not heeded obvious signals and then gone back for more punishment.

Yesterday this time last year..

Looking back I was angry at myself, and then angry to be treated badly. Being used is not good. And itís a fine line in fellowship.

As Time Goes By

As time goes by we do make more sensible connections and real relationships. We get to understand the possible, the probable. And we get to know context and life better as we grow into being ourselves. So the hurt and pain is always a two way street, the feelings are up and down as denial plays out and then we find acceptance is as life is today.

Ready or Not?

Best preparation these days is to listen and hear, feel the truth of lack of it. Wonder at where our anger comes from, where we are emotionally physically and spiritually.

Emotions Today

So far I am ok, its still early in the day. The shock of Christopherís death, my sisters partner still feels heavy, and lighter moments abound as good times are recollected.

In the my head my emotions are all fairly ok, balanced where they will. I donít feel needy, I feel ambivalent, a sort of mixture.

Physical Today?

My blood sugars are off the chart. So some maintenance to do there. This always makes me feel under par. So may be coming down with something presently. Summer colds are going the rounds.

Spiritual

As spiritual means being in this one day for me, the spiritual connection is somewhat limited by the physical. Overall though my levels of forgiveness are pretty high and unconditional.

Connections to People and The World

Most connections to the world feel Ok. There is an important date this July 24th, a birthday and well wishing to a former partner. I shall not stray and make a nuisance of myself. Some connections I might wish were better, and know better these days that I am unwelcome. And that is positively best and right as far as life and connections go. Actually for some reason these days I look back and smile with love, and not final moments where I would rather have just departed this world.

Confluence and old habits

The truth is I could easily roll up loads of experiences to make a pretty dim view of the past, influence the present with negativity and end up denying my part in all the drama of years gone by. I cannot and forgiveness is a mutual requirement, as I have sown I will reap. Better forgive all things every day.

Forgive and Learn

The learning is forgive everything, donít forget, as we may forget as much our part in horrid doings. The most important feature for spiritual progress is to stop the obvious which is doing the same thing and expecting some else to happen, it wonít

Change

Change is better than a rest. Changes and living the changes, it must be. And above all is the right of everyone to make mistakes and get on with their living. I am merely a learner in these things.

Friends and Fellows

We develop and make good our relationships as we develop our outlook. As time goes by we realise the possible in face to face connections, connections we make over distance, through fellowship and similarities, through pen friends, through the internet, and through just being where we are today.

All friendships

All friendships are important we need be careful and truthful. The truth of some connections can be misleading. As we develop and share, we open ourselves for others to know us. As others carry on and live a quite separate existence, and I have no clue about many who know me better than I know them. I recognise there is much that can be assumed in limited contact, and this sometimes concerns me. Silence is no asset to understanding so often what is assumed one way is not there in another.

Care Always

Indeed a hesitant and careful approach, at the same time adhering to truth is quite difficult. We need add nothing to ours and others wounds. And yet I realise imagination, cover up and denials are features of living and doing when we feel insecure and not so good about our outsides.

Nurture, nature and truth

All adjust through time. I know intimacy we get face to face helps improve our understanding, and sometimes distance enables another set of truths as we can share our personal outlooks and stay safe and confidential.

Times and Outlook -

All changes by the day and we need make sure we understand as time takes us where we prefer to be. I am without doubt sometimes more open and share more, simply because I need understanding in the broadest sense. As we all read news and views, lots know my views and yet I know less from others who know me. I donít mind this, it can be somewhat misleading though as I am ignorant others are more informed about me and my world. Its just the way life can be.

Now mid day

I may write more later, we shall see? Can I stop myself? I donít know.

Acceptance is no easy road for humans, all of us have feelings and outlooks

Tonight and Tradition Ten

"Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy."

Why no opinion on outside matters? Well very simply we are better off keeping our focus on our sobriety first so we may live in the ordinary world with better outlooks we learn in the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous.

Diverted from the main tenor of Tradition Ten

And actually looking back at the things I talked about tonight at the meeting, I was slightly off the tradition we were supposed to discuss. And why, smiles well it matters not as there is always another time, provided we keep going back and doing just the right things and making good choices in the day..

I am still dealing with grief, and in the course of the day, had two hypoís (a diabetic thing). I am a bit run down I realise and know its very difficult to keep blood sugars on track when small illnesses affect me quite dramatically.

I have chatted with my sister, I mentioned her courage to her. I donít know, we as a family are not so good with compliments, I had some by chance tonight. Not about what I said in the meeting, but about the video messages I do about recovery. I am truly thankful, and realise it does help me keep going.

Writing and Media - About my Recovery

I do write extensively about recovery, and hope I keep with tradition and spiritual paths. As we go along in life we may wonder if it is right to expose our insides out. It proves to help me more than hinder.

And Sanctuary

AA is a sanctuary to find ourselves, wherever we may have ended up, through the past few years, my connection to this planet has led me to acceptance of life on lifeís terms, just a day at a time. My zeitgeist, my path, just for a day.

A year ago, I see much introspection and justification, I need share it as the path from humbuggery and applies to me as much as anyone elseÖ

I can be full of it as anyone can.




July 23 2006

Odd to look back I learn my progress, slow and careful it seems today..

Acceptance

Is simply learning and feeling the lessons of life

Its been a full week of learning about me and the world I have right now. I divide my world into two parts, the global world and the local world. I call them the global village and local village. I write about things to do with the global and local villages of my world. In the global village, Israel, Lebanon and Iraq feature heavily in tragedy. They are key flashpoints and the world looks at the global wreckage and carnage being made by war, terror and hate. And the local world is full of conflict too.

My local village life has been up and down for some weeks and months. One villager close to me has been making my life interesting and confusing. This villager was expelled on two previous occasions for being an unwelcome entrant. I felt the villager concerned had as much interest in me as was appropriate for someone using and getting more from me than came back to me. And never being one to write off anyone, I have acquiesced and let them back in. I did this because they have always said and maintained a dumb ignorance of their hurt towards me. And so a third time they were included and came back.

The world is full of promise when we are flattered and made to feel good and attractive. And underlying these last two incursions into my village life, I have always been disappointed by their lack of care of me and others, as I have observed, which led me to realise it might not be just me and they might change with some help. I have been proved wrong through time and evidence and behaviour.. Their behaviour is one of using and exploiting. And its done so subtly in some ways so we donít see it openly. I have always had my radar honed for falseness and my denial of it has led me along a difficult path. I always knew I had things this villager wanted and it was not me the person as I have been able to get to the reality at last. It was my connection and knowledge, my position and influence, anything connected to me but not me. And now as the delusion is fading and denial of the obvious is fading, I am still awaiting a reaction of anger in me, but its not thereÖ

Why donít I feel like the global world? So mad, as mad as hell and why donít I feel like blowing up and causing disturbance? Why have I been mildly pissed off, but not raging and indignant? Why am I so calm and peaceful? Why am I not more depressed on this matter of betrayal of me? Easy it seems for although I have been able to deny some of what has transpired, I know the reason why this villager has been so active in soliciting my help.
The villager concerned has been trying to make a sea change in their lives. They have been schooled in certain arts of getting what they want. The villager has crafty behaviour and conniving and manipulative tendencies and to an extent I went along with what became more apparent as a reuse to get and elicit help. The help was always there and the hope in me was there would be an understanding and mutuality and friendship somewhere somehow. And I was encouraged to believe there would be more, as my diaries indicate, the chronicle of events recorded and the outcomes more and more to let this villager play out the scenario and then leave.

I guess this week I pushed the villager out, and let them know they would get what they needed from me, and it is not me as part of the package, or my complicity or any more connection to future events. And of course no more assistance or support in their future endeavours. And the endeavour which is worthy is in fact a worthy cause. So in essence itís a win, win scenario.

The win for me as events unfolded this week are no longer having to pour more time where no amount of time will ever yield happy connections in friendship or anything else. It is sad because when we are faced with situations like this and our nature is to be helpful, we let things slide when it comes to understanding others motives.

I am most definitely a people person, a people pleaser if you will and have always found value in helping people. itís a taught thing and learned thing. And it was only as I found this particular trait in me exploited fully, that I became most unhappy and really pissed off. And yet today I am not pissed off or unhappy and I donít feel hurt. I feel annoyed, not real anger. For indeed everything I had predicted somehow seems to have come to light. It is sad and my learning is a better exploration of motives and outcomes in future.

I guess the rose tinted spectacles I tend to wear and the principle of trust has been challenged. And quite rightly I have found the villager somewhat guilty of bad behaviour towards me, and a betrayal of themselves as their behaviour oscillated between friendship and more, then less as time has made good other requirements now fulfilled. I sense this using , and hence my discourse on codependence in my previous entry.

A salutary lesson for my ego and my confidence. As I never expected my confidence to be up and my ego to be down, I am quite surprised for the slip to egoís drift could have been more pronounced and a backlash of self loathing and feelings of foolishness could have been greater. What I find is much of nothing and nothing is what I feel for the villager concerned.

Note to self: beware false flattery, not just one villager has this capacity, others do too who need something from or of me. I give it freely, and will be more reflective next time. For there will be many more times.

As life is, I have fellowship and friends and these vulnerabilities to an old fool are welcome additions to my living. And I will always be helping fellowship friends and acquaintances. At the same time I will address my people pleasing nature as needed and get feedback on this from a fellow I know and gives good advice. His advice so far as a consequence of recent developments is simply keep with friends and fellowship, and let the world sort itself out.

As to the global noise of life which none of us can ignore, I can see the powerlessness of the world. So in my local environment, such an incursion and exploitation of me is no big deal in the grand world scheme.

I reckon the silence of the villager over recent days is for a variety of reasons, first their denial of any falsehood, their clinging on to thin integrity and deceptive notions that they have done nothing wrong in their quest to further their situation and outlook. And maybe I can see their point. And know it comes from a desperate need to change and make good at a new start. It would not be my way, but if that is the only way they know how, I hope they will learn better ways in future, all I need do is let them go and get on with it and find others to make good their world. I have no place at all in it and am compromised through events which while they have disturbed me, taught me much of my vulnerability to be exploited and then discarded, thank my lucky stars for that. I will pay heed to my inner voice more closely as there is one unfinished task to complete, and that requires enough effort to make disconnection and then they then have no need of my knowledge and skills, for others have them too. I am not dumbing down or underplaying my value here, I merely acknowledge my value to this villager is simply as a vehicle to another stage and outlook in their life.

I am responsible for me, and can influence and own my part in future events. Wisdom does indeed come after the fact and from experience. Best to learn and get good with living my fellowship ways a day at a time. And ensure one villager does not change my whole world, although I am more informed how I might respond in future as time will tell if ever a situation like this were to occur again.

Silence I have no doubt disconnection will be their preference, it is beyond their wit and their ability to be different. And I know their disturbance over anything which has transpired is either insignificant or just too close to denial for it to be otherwise. And the sadness there is I donít feel any explanation or counselling or discourse will ever illuminate them to their behaviour, and especially not from me.

I suppose if this were a bad news scenario, it is simply that what appeared to be a friendship was less than that and the other dalliances under scrutiny fall into another category I would not wish to label here right now. The good news is I am a little bit wiser to my vulnerable nature and remain human, able as always to fuck up spectacularly well and read things right and behave in a contradictory way to my well being in order to help others. That is a lesson in pleasing others and not pleasing me, a characteristic in me, which need be addressed as time requires and events occur.

In life there are no hard and fast rules, there are choices which can made as we become more adept and informed and understand better. The connection to life and its facets and make up continues. I am just human and as any other, able to make good of this day as one can, and the same applies to the troublesome villager.

And as to this villager and their future. You know what? I hope for the best and every opportunity to live and grow and develop. I would never undermine their future or their opportunity. And I would be very reluctant to let them close enough to repeat the fiasco of recent times. A learning I guess. And of course merely my own side of outcomes and that is all I can supply right now.

The global world it bothers me, the upheavals are traumatic and will be long lived. Our world is in a really bad phase with much power shifting going on. As the world wars here and there, the power of great economies is flowing where it will. And my part of the world is becoming poorer for it. I hope I continue to see how life will change, just a day at a time and with a weather eye to the future.

-/-

Copyright © Don Oddy





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Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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"The Big Issue"

The Big Issue Foundation's core ethos is self help. We offer support to homeless and socially excluded people who seek to gain control of their lives and help them move off the streets and into a home and a job.We work with over 2000 vendors across the UK, supporting them with a diverse program of opportunities either delivered through our own services or in partnership with specialist agencies. Each new vendor has a Needs Assessment, and from this an individual action plan is set, which is monitored in supervision sessions with support staff.





Be Tolerant

You have the power to tolerate anyone and any situation. But tolerance is not just suffering in silence.

It means going beyond any personal discomfort you may feel, and giving a gift to whom ever you would tolerate. Give your time, attention, understanding, compassion, care - all are gifts, which paradoxically, you also receive in the process of giving.

And, as you do, you will experience your own self esteem and inner strength grow. In this way you can turn tolerance into strength.






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Guardian Unlimited OnLine July 24 2007


Ministers warned three years ago over flood defence failings July 24 2007




Water levels still rising as thousands hit by worst floods in modern British history

Patrick Wintour and Karen McVeigh

The government was last night accused of failing to act on its own advice to overhaul UK flood defences and drainage systems which first highlighted deep-seated problems three years ago.

As large tracts of central and southern England remained under water, leaving tens of thousands of homes without power or drinking water, the environment minister, Hilary Benn, announced an independent review into what is being billed as the worst episode of flooding in modern British history.

But it emerged last night that the government was warned in two separate reports that the plans in place to tackle flood risks were "complex, confusing and distressing for the public". In July 2004 the government said it needed to improve co-ordination between water companies, councils and the Environment Agency; then in 2005, the government also agreed to "work towards giving" the agency "an overarching strategic overview across all flooding and coastal erosion risks".

Ministers promised to transfer this responsibility by 2006.

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Times OnLine July 24 2007


10,000 homes flooded, 50,000 without power and 150,000 have no water July 24 2007




Valerie Elliott and David Brown

Servicemen and firefighters were battling to protect the electricity supplies of half a million people last night as the highest flood waters in memory continued to rise.

The Government announced an independent inquiry as water levels in the Thames and the Severn exceeded those of the devastating floods of 1947 and were forecast to rise to 20ft (6m) higher than normal.

More than 10,000 families have been left homeless in the West Country and Thames Valley over the past four days and thousands of others have been told to leave their homes as a mass of water surges down river. Electricity supplies to 50,000 homes have been cut and 150,000 homes have been left without water.

The Times was told last night that the utility companies were warned by the Government seven years ago that they needed to make key facilities flood-proof to protect supplies. The Castlemeads power station near Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire, was shut down yesterday morning, however, leaving more than 50,000 homes without electricity. Supplies to a further 500,000 homes were under threat as a 250-strong force of military personnel and firefighters attempted to prevent rising waters overwhelming the Walham substation.

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Independent OnLine 'Indy' News July 24 2007


A 21st century catastropheJuly 24 2007



By Michael McCarthy, Environment Editor

Flood-ravaged Britain is suffering from a wholly new type of civil emergency, it is clear today: a disaster caused by 21st-century weather.

This weather is different from anything that has gone before. The floods it has caused, which have left more than a third of a million people without drinking water, nearly 50,000 people without power, thousands more people homeless and caused more than £2bn worth of damage - and are still not over - have no precedent in modern British history.

Nothing in the past hundred years, in terms of flooding caused by rainfall, has been as bad. According to the Environment Agency, even the previous worst case, the extensive floods of spring 1947, which were aggravated by the vast snow melt that followed an exceptionally hard winter, has been surpassed.

"We have not seen flooding of this magnitude before," said the agency yesterday. "The benchmark was 1947, and this has already exceeded it." And the 1947 floods were said to have been the worst for 200 years.

Most remarkable of all is the fact that the astonishing picture the nation is now witnessing - whole towns cut off, gigantic areas underwater, mass evacuations, infrastructure paralysed and grotesquely swollen rivers, from the Severn and the Thames downwards not even at their peaks yet - has all been caused by a single day's rainfall. A month's worth and more in an hour. It is obvious that the Government and the civil powers, from Gordon Brown down to the emergency services, are struggling to cope, not only with the sheer physical scale of the disaster itself, but with the very concept of it. It is entirely unfamiliar. It is new. Yet it is exactly what has been forecast for the past decade and more.

No one can yet attribute the flood events of the past week, or indeed, those of June, when Yorkshire suffered what Gloucestershire and Worcestershire are suffering now - again from one single day's rainfall - directly to global warming. All climates have a natural variability which includes exceptional occurrences.

But the catastrophic "extreme rainfall events" of the summer of 2007, on 24 June and 20 July, are entirely consistent with repeated predictions of what climate change will bring.

It is nearly 10 years since the scientists of the UK Climate Impacts Programme first gave their detailed forecast of what global warming had in store for Britain in the 21st century - and high up on the list was rainfall, increasing both in frequency and intensity.

This was thought most likely to happen in winter, with summers predicted to be hotter and dryer. But yesterday Peter Stott of the Met Office's Hadley Centre for Climate Prediction and Research, an author of a new scientific paper linking increases in rainfall to climate change, commented: "It is possible under climate change that there could be an increase of extreme rainfall even under general drying."

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Ghandi

There come to us moments in life when about some things we need no proof from without. A little voice within us tells us, 'You are on the right track, move neither to your left nor right, but keep to the straight and narrow way.

A person falsely claiming to act under divine inspiration or the promptings of the inner voice without having any such, will fare worse than the one falsely claiming to act under the authority of an earthly sovereign. Whereas the latter on being exposed will escape with injury to his body, the former may perish body and soul together.

You have to believe no one but yourselves. You must try to listen to the inner voice, but if you will not have the expression"inner voice", you may use the expression "dictates of reason", which you should obey, and if you will not parade God, I have no doubt you will parade something else which in the end will prove to be God, for, fortunately, there is no one and nothing else but God in this universe.

For me truth is the sovereign principle, which includes numerous other principles. This truth is not only truthfulness in word, but truthfulness in thought also, and not only the relative truth of our conception, but the Absolute Truth, the Eternal Principle, that is God. There are innumerable definitions of God, because His manifestations are innumerable. They overwhelm me with wonder and awe and for a moment stun me.




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