the odd chronicle

February 16th 2006

copyright don oddy

~ I shot the sheriff... lawyer ~

Feels like the news is full of serious and incredible stories we could never manufacture. It is hard to deal with the story of Dick Cheney who shot his friend, not the Sheriff, just his Lawyer friend Harry Whittington, while out hunting. And the apparent cover up albeit just three days, and Cheney remaining silent. Mind you what could he have said to this incident? At least he is sorry for the incident happening.

On the personal front, the change in some my well being regime, has left me completely exposed to the full gamut of deepening clinical depression. Its real and very unhelpful. Knowing its happening and ways to keep myself safe are fully on my mind.

It is particularly excruciating to feel this depression gathering, the speed of decline seems to be as quick as can be. I thought it might be ok and there would be more time to respond to the experience and decline in mood. Well I learned something new, no amount of preparation helps!

Symptoms are all too evident, quickening to feel things, the high and lows and reactions are more profound, and the inability to concentrate is growing. Sleep is becoming more erratic and the dreams more vivid. Welcome back to night sweats. Tinatus is raging and then disappears a while. Aches and pains to my whole body make this temporary encounter with “black dog” horrid.

It is a necessary journey toward a complimentary regime of therapy and medical interventions, to have synergy in treatment of type 1 diabetes and clinical depression.

I hope the learning that’s happening as a result of this helps others. Believe me when I say it is hellish. And on top of this I have a cold and chest infection. The luck of the draw…

This really is one day at a time territory, to help me through. The next few weeks are to be encountered exactly this way, one day at a time. Glad I have a fellowship and support when needed.

In the past, oblivion seemed the only remedy or worse. Today, I know time is key, patience and acceptance. Absolute acceptance of now, the ever present present!