March 11th 2006

copyright don oddy

~carpe diem not ~

a very difficult day

sometimes we all experience difficult days. I am no exception. Nerves raw and feelings close to my surface. Composure not easy to maintain. There is a vulnerability inside me and I am living through it a day at a time.

When we try force experience to fit our view on time to heal, we can brush over and fill cracks in our personality. We make consequences harder for ourselves when we rush our emotional processes. We live in denial and dangerous territory.

Best not to hide and put on a brave face. Better to experience my shit and in doing so get over it. This is not gushing, it is pragmatic.

To go to my grave with a stiff upper lip, I need not have bothered living. To go to my grave with peace of mind, now that feels a better option. A harder road, trodden by the best of us and making for a more complete life.