Before the world made me, and how the world changed my outlook. I am finding myself after 50 years. We are merely innocent until life enables and our endeavours take us where we may. Always Endeavour..
This week is a good starting place to remind myself of some of my ideals. Just some of my ideals, because like any other human being, my thinking and feeling is always evolving, gaining wisdom and to an extent, gravitas.
Dealing with others and writing
To be clear in thought and feeling to explore with a persistent thirst, delving and wandering, recollecting flotsam as well as deep felt moments to me and to you. So why do I write? For expression of feelings and thoughts, to try to explain what captures my imagination and what I see around me. This is why I have written a journal these past few years and more. So I include a pastiche of experiences and anecdotes, not lofty or lore from wisdoms touch, just experiences. I need to learn, to remind myself, to be me, for I am easily lost in others dreams. And in understanding and expressing my thoughts and feelings, I learn every day.
I hope and endeavour to express my views and recollections with sensitivity. And it is important for me to keep in mind my principles and values when I write on the web and in my journals. This page will always be found somewhere in my work published here and other sites on the World Wide Web. I like all of us need keep a light or heavy touch as our world provides every experience.
This particular week in August 2003, turned out to be one of great vulnerability and reflection. With only a few hours sleep in many days, my words not as precise or sharp as I might wish. I experienced great physical and emotional damage, and in the process caused anxiety and pain to many who know me. Culpability is mine.
For the hurts to others and myself were profound and elemental. And inflicting these hurts I have been given many more lessons in the fragility of life I paid little heed to over the years. These lessons and experiences evoke memories, which give my principles and values more meaning and cut deep in my psyche, and an affirmation. The affirmation might be simply to find my identity and what I might become. I am sure the first principle I hold as absolute is I am responsible for, my conduct and welfare.
Through experience, there will be joy and sadness. My reaction and response to life will be a reflection of my understanding. Life is for learning, and how I deal with life, both the joy and sadness will be my path to wisdom.
My path to wisdom is as hard fought as any other in this world. My path to wisdom is the equal of any other human being, not bigger or smaller.
My wisdom hard earned will be as important and profound as any other in the world. My wisdom and experience will be the equal of any human being, not bigger or smaller
I accept hurts self inflicted, and deep felt hurt to others I have caused, ‘mea culpa’. Acceptance of my part in life, the world and everything, no bigger or smaller than any other in this world
Clarity is about finding my terms of living in the world and who I really am. It’s no one else's responsibility. Feedback and comment and challenge and support are essential reflections welcomed. Clarity is about writing in the moment. Writing about what is going on in my micro world, my local village where community may prevail. And of what I call the global village, the macro world, writing about interdependencies we most often never address. Our constant surprise is interdependence at local community or global geo- national are so similar and simple even to the most abstract theorist.
Outcomes and Output
I think about my success and failures and I think about those of the great and the good. I have to learn from both and be honest, knowing what I say is opinion about myself and how I see others. This notion of honesty and truth, of fair dealing and integrity. Otherwise is there any point? And with chance of others expressing their true views….
There may be enlightenment
Is a key part of learning and necessitates risk. And with time I know I have grown shy of the risks involved, in new challenges and enterprise. With vulnerability I learn. Time for me to learn afresh values and matters of importance not yet understood.
I have taken in and accepted all that has been given to me in terms of feedback near and far. Especially when cut to the quick. Truthful feedback is hardest to absorb because it opens every deep notion and challenges our reason for living. I have had great doubts on life’s purpose, mine in particular when crushed to insignificance. And self exclusion drives the mind to ponder darkly as isolation hacks away esteem, which is where the self hurt originates. Ignorance in my world, is not bliss, it is harmful and destructive, damaging the foundations of all life experience.
To be myself and know what I stand for now in my world, the local village. And of the global village, support, comment and challenge as
is the right of all humanity? For me it means I am more likely to keep on track through expression and listening carefully as best I can to all my equals. And my responsibility, in this is to be clear how I conduct myself now and in the future. This is my "hope" as the tenacious process of denial and acceptance, keeps me safe from harm and always in harms way.
Is your path, is your experience and wisdom. I learn from your experience, making no judgment on you, and every judgment on myself…
To love and be humble
The greatness of mind and action, of feeling and experience of joy and sadness is our life. To be a member of my local village, no more no less, of equal stature and equal frailty, no bigger or smaller than any other.
I am glad to be a seeker. Listening, vulnerable and learning, a finder and sharer of wisdom garnered from life. Forgiving even the worst of hurts inflicted. With or without intent, an endeavour as long as life.