Chronicles October 2005

October 1st 2005
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~ progress ~

to dwell on my mistakes stops me from moving forward

October 2nd 2005
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~ forgiving others ~

I often forget to mention to others I have forgiven everything of everyone

I am no saint, it is true tho' that most of us are trying our best most of the time. Even

when it appears to the contrary, we are the agents of our own actions. We do no more or less

than we can, at any given moment. And for this I must find forgiveness for myself and

everyone I encounter, for genuinely we do what can to our capacity. Who is perfect? Not me,

and not you. And so we need be accepting of our human qualities, forgiving and recalling how

we would be if...

Which is where we start accepting or go insane in the process. Love and forgiveness are our

greatest qualities for humility. Every day will show us the endless possibilities beyond our

denial of real life. Smiles this quiet day with mellow thoughts...

October 3rd 2005
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~ happenstance ~

to dwell on my mistakes stops me from moving forward

I have a friend who has many ways to treat an illness, yet he chooses to ignore it, or try

alternatives to proven medicine first. I hope he lives long enough to make his mind up what

he might do...

I fear he will procrastinate and end up bitter in the short time left. That is his choice

and sadness prevails when we might know of better outcomes...

Our lives, our choices, hard enough for anyone who has recovered from the abyss of life...

The Abyss, the bottomless gulf, pit, or chaos of the old cosmogonies, we might wish to renew

our faith in modernity rather than cling to wisdom born in days of alchemy...

October 4th 2005
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~ modesty prevails ~

let me appreciate how unique I am and what a special role I play

Amongst the less endearing characteristics we learn is modesty in a pejorative form. Modesty

is often the tool of control for those who have placed themselves in some lofty role in

society. Modesty is often our own way of keeping our unique and authentic outlook to

ourselves. If we offered without fear and without prejudice, our views on life in general,

we would progress as a society far more easily than we do today.

Every leader in society who presents as an oracle might challenge themselves to this simple

test, ask yourself "how dare they?" and look for an answer which provides equality and

respect.

October 5th 2005
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~ no one wants to let themselves down ~

have the faith that, despite appearances, people are doing the best they can

Humanity is driven to survive, even when some of us don't feel up to the challenge. Even in

the most difficult of circumstances, humans tend to try their hardest and want to do their

best.

That takes no account of morality. Morality is taught and we learn our morality from wider

society. When we do our best, its simply never going to be to the common good or altruistic

unless we are schooled to be exemplars of the common good...

And the common good is the codes we learn to behave in society. History is our touchstone

and we learn and determine from that single giant, how we might do our best and assume

conduct accordingly...

October 6th 2005
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~ live in the problem or the solution? ~

We are never without the solutions to our problems. It's just that sometimes we may have to

wait a little and practice remaining peaceful and patient.

It is a dilemma, we are made resilient and tough minded by society and by our experiences.

In early years we grow to revere those who can be tough and keep on going against the odds.

Against the odds is winning when logic is defied. Often we refuse to give up on situations

and move on, because the pain of change is more hurtful than a situation we can't fix. So we

get stuck in limbo, neither happy with our lot, and unable to move on.

Best to chew over things we can't let go with someone we trust and work our "stuckness" out

of our systems...

Then we let go of the problem, we move to solutions, and that's the gift. Live in the

solution and not the problem! Just be aware tho' that some problems keep us stuck a really

long time, and only when we get new outlooks do things change. Rest assured if there is

enough time, then we all get to solutions we can live and enjoy...

October 7th 2005
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~ end of the road ~

"tenacity is not giving up when everybody else says you should."

Kipling’s: "If"

is and will be an inspiration to countless numbers striving 'against all the odds'. And we

learn with every ounce of effort spent, we can find our rewards in reaching our destination

and in the journey ...

And always times, where experience and tenacity play their part in achievement. There are

also times, where no amount of tenacity and wilful endeavour achieve the impossible. We

need find our measure and our capacity in our reflection and in the eyes of those we trust

to make good our reality, for reality often is beyond our wildest dreams, if we could only

see it!

October 8th 2005
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~ self reliance ~

"If we are truly humble, we will always be ready to seek (and accept!) help from others. The

present genteel, self-loving brand of piety assumes, "I don’t need anybody; I can set things

right with God (or oneness with my good conscience) myself." But as long as we quietly try

to work out your own salvation, we won’t get anywhere. Only when we recognize our need for

others and reach out and open up to them will things move forward."
on line quote adapted by me for us!
October 9th 2005
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~ the sound of one hand clapping ~

we may find the concept of one hand clapping to be a mysterious nonsense. Simply one hand

clapping is the sound of silence, and that is no mystery. The real mystery is how we find

silence for meditation when there is no peace to still the mind. Mind, body and breath

enable a calmness. The silence which follows is without a beginning or end, complete in a

moment and savoured a lifetime..

October 10th 2005
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~ how we grow stronger ~

"Love, I thought, is stronger than death or the fear of death. Only by it, by love, life

holds together and advances." Ivan Turgenev

When we recognise that love is behind all our inspiration and life, we feel less afraid of

our expression and acceptance of love.

Our behaviour and resonance with the most elemental of emotion, love, is how we are taught

and how we learn. Our expression of and love behaviour is always developing based on

experience and understanding. Love certainly will conquer and make acceptable all aspects of

living if we let love happen.

October 11th 2005
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~ as we love ourselves ~

good conscience takes command to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. And if pushed, the

definition of who is our neighbour, out, and still further out, until it reached to the ends

of the earth and included all of humankind

We are hard pressed to love ourselves. There are few societies on this earth where we learn

the art of loving, this is loving who we are. We see the virtue in loving our fellows, yet

we balk at self love, self deserving as if a heretic were abroad in our consciousness to

make us less worthy than we are.

Everyone, absolutely everyone is here to learn love. Best practised on ourselves before we

are let loose to love others, if only it were so. And not in any lifetime can we learn to

love our brethren without bestowing the same for ourselves.

Not selfish or mistaken, the guide to humanity starts inside ourselves where all is forgiven

completely, if we learn from experience and as we then share the fruit of human kindness.

For then there is empathy and acceptance of all worlds in which we live...

October 12th 2005
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~ artisan ~

be sure your pen of actions is drawing a work of art.

this push to perfect, it is a caution. For in the learning of life there is one thing we can

recognise as perfect...

perfection is an unfinished work

October 13th 2005
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~ forgiveness ~

it is hard enough in these times of blame to find any forgiveness of anything or anyone

How do we learn? By mistakes. And how to we develop? By experience. Why is it hard for us to

realise the nature of learning is haphazard and the nature of man is learning through

endeavour?

We might consider our approach to this life with the benefit of experience. Experience is

never taught and consequences only understood as life deals our hand.

Our gift of life is experienced in the moment, savoured for a lifetime. Forgiveness finds it

way and opens a realm beyond imaginations dreams.

Right here, right now, raw and real. Free the moment and let go chains, walk with gentle

steps and heed experience...

October 14th 2005
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~ peace ~

where there is peace there is everything

October 15th 2005
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~ courage ~

Courage is to take a step forward into an area of difficulty without a solution in mind,

feeling that sanctuary is ahead. Taking steps forward, empty handed, knowing that our good

conscience is there to help pull us through. And fortitude with others support enables

courageous steps to peace and harmony.

October 16th 2005
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~ ancient Lore - modern world ~

The Didache – moral imperatives

An adaption by Don

Friend, flee from the self will of ego and from everything resembling it. Do not get angry,

for anger leads to murder. Friend, do not grumble, for this leads to unimaginable

resentment; be gentle-minded, for those of a gentle mind experience joy, and the gifts of

this earth. Be patient and have a loving heart. Friend, be one with open hands to receive,

and open when it comes to giving. Friend, when we have earned something by the work of our

hands, pass on freely life’s gifts, for all toil is a gift to all mankind. Friend, open your

heart to those who are in need, and share all things in common with mankind. Friend with an

open heart beware the pull of self will to inequality, keep to the good and seek to be no

more and no less than any other. Accept as good whatever happens to you or affects you,

knowing that everything happens more completely with good conscience and in harmony with

nature.

October 17th 2005

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~ Ancient Lore and Modern Architecture ~

We are all clever folk. We learn quickly, that what we understand of life, is invented here,

in our own mind, authentic and new. And what we invent is new to us, and always a work of

genius, our imagination and interpretation, our authenticity.

Our invention is our modern outlook, our architecture of today. And this applies to the many

traditions we develop and principles of living we enjoy. And it is true to all of us who

study and reflect on history, our authenticity and uniqueness holds good in principle.

Yet our foundations for modern living, on the surface our culture, sit on deep piles of

intellectual and emotional granite. We do well to reflect our bedrock, human nature is

ancient and developed from our instinct and our experience.

Instinct, keeps us alive, experience makes life worth living. Nature and Nurture, our human

collective, across time bringing resonance and spirit to our endeavour.

Our spiritual path, as precarious now as in ancient times, is driven by faith in humanity

and our world. Ancient lore holds good in modern mythology as faith enables belief and

belief gives meaning to all humanity. Our modern world made good ‘here and there’ by

empirical science, compliments humanity and its ancient beliefs.

Human endeavour, always searching, seeking answers beyond our material world, might heed

wisdoms touch. Peace resides in the moment of now, the gift of being present in an ever

present world.

October 18th 2005
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~ dead certainty ~

Terminal Illness

How to help a friend with a life threatening ailment is very difficult, especially when they

know best.

What would I do? I go to see a specialist, because I think there is something wrong. I am

already worried because the symptoms are quite distinct and I am familiar with the illness

and disease.

The tests are taken and I find my fears are confirmed. I have a cancer in my pancreas and

its not going to go away. The specialist is optimistic, it has not spread, it is contained

and I can have an operation to take the cancer out. And the prognosis is far better than

doing nothing. Nothing will kill me.

If it were my situation and my knowledge and the professional recommending the operation, I

know I would follow advice and comply. In my experience I know I can deploy denial and avoid

the inevitable onset to termination. I would choose to have the operation and deal with the

consequences.

My friend, he is an alternative medicine expert. He is in his opinion, better able to treat

the cancer with his knowledge and experience than the surgeon and his experience and

professional expertise. And if the worse case scenario is that the cancer does not go away,

gets bigger, then he will allow the operation for excision.

The problem for me is my friend indicates his surgeon says operate now, or there may be no

more than two months to live. And my friend says he can stop the cancer growing and make it

shrink in two months.

I feel the pull of my friend and his persuasion, his argument and his belief in

alternatives. I know from sad experience delay is most often fatal and most often caused by

procrastination. In this case it’s a risk I find difficult to accept. Rely on alternative

therapy rather than the surgeon and "modern medicine".

If it were me, I would go with modernity, have the operation and hopefully live with

consequences. The risk to rely on alternative therapy and diet did not stop the condition in

the first instance and did not make it detectable.

I find it hard to accept my friend and his decision. Yet I am not he and he is an expert at

what he knows. The risk and denial involved makes me wretched with his choice. Yet I cannot

argue common sense or expertise myself.

My understanding and my position remain modernity. And I accept his decision, for it his

choice and his consequences. I don’t agree or want to condone, and I will not. I uphold his

right to choice, whatever the outcome.

October 19th 2005
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~ snapshots in time ~

We live in snapshots in time. We focus our memories and feelings on events important to us.

We forget most we see and substitute our imagination to fill inconvenient gaps. Gaps, which

are left because memory eludes, or memory is so good we refuse the truth.

So with our snapshots in time we create realities and fantasies in whatever measure we

prefer. Our desires and our preference are enriched with imagination brush.

How we see others and ourselves is predicated on our esteem and confidence, or less

preferred in most cases, our ego and insecurities.

Caught in the act of many intimate moments we can capture the true nature of fellows and

ourselves. We are less blind to others foibles than our own, for we can relate and mitigate

where our reflection, exposure is shunned.

These snapshots taken without effort most often reveal our understanding of others in the

blink of an eye. And without doubt, some spend lifetimes finding this out.

Harsh little snapshots, we catch of ourselves, easily deniable until truth is revealed in

what others tell us, or don’t tell more often. Our gaps of insecurity where denial dwells,

best unearthed and confronted, lest we are found out.

Best honour the moment even when it reveals the truth, best shared as is snapped and dealt

with its true size. A second will capture our discomfort and acknowledged it fades to true

dimension in a forgetful haze.

We are best served to observe and accept than deny and cover up that snapshot in time, or it

will come and haunts over and over. Best wear it and show it and live it out, till another

snapshot is taken as others wear out.

October 20th 2005
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~ helping others ~

There is much to value in helping others. And there are boundaries to the help we can offer

and others accept. There is nothing noble in trying to assist when no assistance is

required. And especially no value in trying to do some good.

Many times we can try to do some good with what we feel are altruistic motives. Doing good

leads to all manner of trouble. Before embarking, ensure you are willing to live up to your

good doing and that the recipient is aware and able to make use of your good.

Or most likely we get told to 'fuck off' and mind our own business…

This often is the best advice and we might heed it!

October 21st 2005
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~ If This Grace Were Ours ~

Samuel Howard Miller

It is the rare person who, looking back over his life and seeing what he has done to it,

hasn't sighed for a chance to redeem what he has cheaply used or carelessly ruined. If only

somehow, somewhere, there was a way to live again the days we have darkened with our blind

haste - the innumerable occasions when our indifference trod on all the pearls of God’s

graciousness( and in my view our good conscience...don DonInChelsea); the times when our pride,

or our fear, or our meanness poured the acid of contempt over the fair countenance of

another’s soul! If this grace were ours, how we would leap to the chance!

Source: Samuel Howard Miller, "The Life of the Soul" (Harper, 1951)

October 22nd 2005
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~ time out ~

Is there some time needed for ourselves today - just for us, to sit quietly and refresh and

renew. Not escaping into a fantasy, or stretching to climb a mountain. Just time to sit

quietly, focus our thoughts, check our priorities, to make sure there is nothing negative

pushing us down in our own mind. Take some time and be ...mind, body and breath, complete. If

we don't, we may miss meeting the most important person in our life. Reflections another key

in acceptance.

October 23rd 2005
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~ hopes and dreams ~

The world is our garden from which all life originates as we know it. Sometimes we sow seeds

of doubt and sometimes seeds of hope. We spend our seasons tending our both and as we mature

in our spiritual outlook, experience strength and hope bloom as doubt fades memories

forgetfulness...

How many lifetimes might we need to emerge and fulfil our destiny? Maybe just this one, for

this the one we can remember, timeless as time itself.

October 24th 2005
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~ The Greatest Power? ~

The Greatest Power

Romano Guardini

Truth is power, but only when one has patience and requires of it no immediate effect. And

one must have no specific aims. Somehow, lack of an agenda is the greatest power. Sometimes

it is better not to think in terms of plans; here months may mean nothing, and also years.

Truth must be sought for its own sake, its holy, divine greatness.

there is much more to truth in my opinion. Where truth emerges as divinity, I would

encourage the reader to consider replacing "divinity" with our own "good conscience", or we

may run amok unfettered with freedoms we neither comprehend or master.

October 25th 2005
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~ as the sun at noon ~

John Donne

He brought light out of darkness, not out of a lesser light, and he can bring thee summer

out of winter, though thou hast no spring. Though in the ways of fortune, understanding, or

conscience thou hast been benighted till now, wintered and frozen, clouded and eclipsed,

damped and benumbed, smothered and stupefied, now God comes to thee, not as the dawning of

the day, not as the bud of the spring, but as the sun at noon.

and in my world

we bring light out of darkness, not out of lesser light, and we can bring summer out of

winter as if there were no spring....
now comes our good conscience with all seasons and years of experience, our wisdom is our

enlightenment as bright as the sun at noon...

as with all we may attribute to God, it is my preference and faith that good conscience

inclines us to a path where God may set the pace. God and good conscience, good conscience

and God, man made and God made.

October 26th 2005
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~ memories forever touch our heart ~

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So it is now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

William Wordsworth, "Intimations of Immortality"

Mind body and breath, capture in a moment every sentiment we might wish to experience. When

we forget the touch of life, we are reminded by many writers how we are touched by natures

embrace.

Tread soft on that carpet of dreams...

October 27th 2005
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~ emotional myths we love ~

When the energy of our consciousness is out of our control - the mind is agitated. We are

being emotional. The solution is to detach from the inner storms, stand back and observe the

hurricane pass. Detached observation withdraws the energy which our emotions require to

sustain themselves. When we watch our own anger, it dies. If we don't detach from it, and

observe it ...it will be our master. Today is the day to practice positive, detached

observation, and each emotion-filled moment is the opportunity. This is 'real' work. The

work of one who is a master of their own consciousness. Are we a master or a slave?

We are slaves when we ignore our emotions, feel we can control them and respond in a form of

detachment. Detachment is the devil in our ego, where ego reckons through intellect to

command our whole being, then we truly can deceive ourselves.

Emotions are our very core driving all elements of human existence, to believe we can

analyse and then detach suggests we have overcome that which makes us tick and experience

life.

The truth that we can deny our true feelings for great periods of time, can quell our inner

being is illusory. We are still there feeling everything and responding as always.

How we feel is through experience and learning. Our feelings develop when they are not

fettered with false notions of control. Control of emotions is impossible, expression of our

emotions is often possible.

Our learning is enabling our emotions to work well, understood by us and those we encounter,

developed through experience and society.

Do not be misled, we feel and experience, our feelings don’t let us down, our expectations

most often do

October 28th 2005
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~ our blind prejudice ~

If something bothers us about someone, we are recognising an attitude that is actually

within ourselves. When we feel it does not affect us and we can respond calmly, it means

that which bothers us we recognise and take into account.

So easy to see the worst in others, its the worst which we detest in ourselves. We run the

risk of being judgmental and prejudiced which infuriates the most.

When we see the weakness in others and see our own revulsion, we need be mindful and careful

we don’t alienate and put down those who are unaware.

All we need remind ourselves, we are no bigger or smaller than anyone else, and no one else

is bigger or smaller than us. That we all learn from experiences, that sharing and informing

others and ourselves is the foundation of humanity. Easy in a world with great prejudice?

No, as we realise life experience will be our evolution and there is no steady state or

destination we will all reach together.

October 29th 2005
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~ manage solutions ~

When the energy of our consciousness is out of our control - the mind is agitated. We are

being emotional. The solution is to detach from the inner storms, stand back and observe the

hurricane pass. Detached observation withdraws the energy, which our emotions require to

sustain them. When we watch our own anger, it dies. If we don't detach from it, and observe

it ...it will be our master. Today is the day to practice positive, detached observation,

and each emotion-filled moment is the opportunity. This is 'real' work. The work of one who

is a master of his or her own consciousness. Are we a master or a slave?

In my view

The notion we are able to master or become slaves to our emotions suggests detachment is

preferable to experience. It is true when we boil over with strongly felt emotions, our

endeavour to hold down feelings is often to avoid consequences from others.

Certainly we need check our emotional responses, how we act based on our feelings. At the

same time we need recognise the feelings we have because they are real.

Maybe the real mastery is to experience our feelings and express them in ways helpful and

open. So often the notion of master and slave involves intellect and ego, the very

foundation of prejudice and inequality.

We learn balance in our expression of emotion and its appropriate application, to the moment

of now, sized right and right sized. Maybe then, practice positive in expression of feelings

will make redundant the notion of master and slave.

October 30th 2005
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~ how to be human ~

breathe!

October 31st 2005

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~ last day of the month ~

and for me the first day of the week. Today I began a new website for the understanding of

the Myers Briggs Personality Type Profile. See Front Page for details.