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--Max Ehrmann

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Providence

Acceptance is:full story

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in our world by mistake. Until I could accept my humanity, I could not be complete in living; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

adapted by DonInChelsea

practice acceptance as a key:

Acceptance is a daily task as we live life to our full extent. And the practice of acceptance has many elements we learn as we progress our emotional and spiritual development. Two forms of practical steps to acceptance help us in our daily living.

1. Accepting day to day experiences as they occur, as life offers them to us. When we accept our day, how we feel, why and what we can do about it, we see our part in our daily experiences with others. Acceptance is not blind to our personal choices, merely making sure we respond and not react to what we encounter. Ask how am I feeling, why and what can I do?

2. Accepting long term experiences which affect our daily living is part of daily life. Our past will bring up issues for us, sometimes daily, sometimes less frequently. How we feel about ourselves generally, why and what we can do to let ourselves be free, overcome old denials and just live for this day, this takes time and often support and help from sources we trust.

When I ask myself:

How am I feeling

Why

What can I do

I am asserting my "being here and now", and helps to acceptance of my real situation.

DonInChelsea Blog Global Local
BBC DonInChelsea's A Day in the Life


May 2005

copyright© don oddy

Chronicles May 2005

May 1st 2005

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~ generosity and forgiveness ~

I read somewhere its a good idea, before you got to bed, to forgive everyone everything. And

how easy it is to do just that. When we have the generosity inside us, we accept the world

for what it is, in real terms. We understand that people are just the way they are. We are

not here to change them. People can change, and it is entirely inside themselves to do just

that. I hear the doubters exclaim, no, no, and no.

Think about forgiving for a while. We can influence, we can argue, we can implore. We can

rail against, we can join in with, we can choose. Every day we have choices. And we make

them, to change or stay the same.

If we are generous with ourselves, we are forgiving of everything. If we are generous with

ourselves, surely we must apply the same values and principles to others. Can we judge

others?

We can judge what is right for ourselves, and we can enable others to their best choices.

And in ideal world we can live most likely the way we intend. When we are faced with history

tho' we are inclined to employ a measured response. When we are in a society which is so

distorted from the principles of forgiving, we are hard pressed. In a thousand millennia,

maybe just maybe, we as humanity will accept ourselves and our fellows... and find harmony.

Along the way in our journey's, we might reflect on our generosity and forgiveness. We might

even take heart as our veil is drawn and opportunity diminished.

Judgement day, is every day, and never our gift. Nature, and if you please, God serves

without prejudice, our final farewell.

May 2nd 2005

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~ our daily grind ~

some days are just that, a hard and long day, where everything is work and nothing is there

to give us calm and serenity.

Some days just need to be hard work. Its a fact that we learn our appreciation and value of

serenity, when dealing with adversity. It is the Ying and Yang, the up and down of our

feelings and spirit, we get stretched from one extreme to the other.

Good news, the further we stretch ourselves the greater our wavelength and comprehension of

ourselves and the range others might feel too.

Never ever make the mistake that our feelings are identical at any given moment. After all,

each have their own time and place, and it is only with practice that we find ourselves at

the same time and place as others, in spirit and feeling. And of course not forgetting our

physical moments too...

May 3rd 2005

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~ no one is to blame ~

"No one is to blame" is an aspect of humility that enables everyone to move forward.

Until them, "#### em!"

It is very easy to have exceptions to our list of forgiving and forgiveness. We may find

some people just that bit harder to forgive. Its as hard for us to be forgiving as it is for

the other part of our problem to forgive us. So we work on it. Its never going to be easy to

live to a code, without our sense of forgiveness, we may lose much of our inner peace,

squandered on hapless times.

We are never free of surprises and humility surely will free our minds to new times and

enabling moments where our freedoms are as big as our forgiving nature becomes.

Whoever remarked, "To err is Human, to Forgive is divine..."

A pioneer in life where the hard knocks are as important to spiritual growth as milk and

honey to our physical well being.

May 4th 2005

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~ how big is our world?~

We have a world as big as we can imagine and more, the world is infinite...

Our world as big as we can make it. Our world, sometimes as small as we can manage. We make

our world the right size. The right size of our world is found in today.

The real world, is so big we can hardly grasp its complexity. We would find it hard to

control it, to shape it and develop our world to our own vision. Yet we persist, we try hard

to make the world an ever safer place to be.

When we make our world safe, the world becomes smaller. For we cannot control the world or

make it safe forever. When can manage only what we encounter, what’s in front of us and where

we can make our daily choices.

We are powerless over people, places and things in general. We can only manage what we

choose as we move and encounter every new moment. A constant set of reflexes to deal with

the day.

When we make choices taking in what we perceive, our judgements will more often keep our

world safe and us from harms way. Beware, when we don't perceive too well and deny the

reality we face, we may falter and loose our footing. Beware our wishful thinking, and our

feelings when times are difficult, hold on to reality and keep ourselves safe.

May 5th 2005

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~ fellowship and government ~

We are all part of a fellowship in one way or another. And still we need government?

We do live in a world which is constantly evolving. It is a perfect world each and every

day. And our feeling about our perfect world? Let me suggest we don't always appreciate our

perfect world.

In this world, everything is in a state of growth and decay. It never stops changing. And we

keep changing even though many times we prefer things to stay the same. There is no safe

place when we suggest," if it ain't broke, don't fix it". For in the conjuring of that

thought, the world has already moved on. Best we say

"perfection is an unfinished work"
and for me, where there is something unfinished, there is always room for change and so

perfection is my key, incomplete, evolving and forever in flux.

Evolution, a wry smile, will be the death of me....

May 6th 2005

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~ working with what we have ~

if we work with what we have, our grip on reality is always firm

We are gifted with stories and suggestions, often developed into wisdom we can access when

times are good and bad. If we listen to the gifts we are handed from others, their stories,

their experience, strength and hope, we learn.

What we learn in our listening is the value of wisdom. Wisdom is not rhetoric, it is the

learning of a thousand generations building on the memories of mankind.

Rhetoric is the gift of the cynic, ego blown beyond wisdom to a place of resentment, where

self interest is the only motivation.

Be gifted with the moment, where our mind's eye meets wisdom head on. A place often

mentioned in prayer and in my fellowship,

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference

Truly a gift bestowed, beyond the hand of mankind, where Nature and all higher powers drift

across eternity...

May 7th 2005

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~ transform obstacles ~

Is life an obstacle course? Sometimes it may feel like it. If you join the military you will

be sent around an obstacle course of increasing degrees of difficulty. Why? To increase your

strength and stamina and expand your creative capacity under strain. So it is on the course

called 'life' - you can choose to perceive people, situations or events as obstacles, or you

can choose to use these things to strengthen and expand your capacity to be creative and to

find ways round, under, over. The choice lies in your perception. Obstacles are never ever

'out there', they are always in our own minds

May 8th 2005

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~ promulgate our feelings ~

promulgate our feelings... promulgate, to make open our declarations.

We are often good at expressing our thoughts, and behind thoughts, our feelings lurk. We are

careful with our feelings for its our feelings which makes vulnerable to others.

So often our society we are encouraged to hide feelings. Only finding safe homes, small

communities where we can express them truly to ourselves and others.

Where do we go with feelings which hurt so much, when we cannot share them with others? And

to admit those feelings to ourselves is often the very last admission we would care to make.

With my human fallibility I keep some feelings suppressed when I have no way to deal with

them. They are most likely deep rooted in love. For love is our supra-ordinate feeling.

Love for others, and care, kept hidden for what reason? They may not love me back? Surely we

might accept, we can love others and they may never know, may never want to know. It is not

my business what they may feel, what matters to me is my care and love for them. For love is

just another state of mind. It is the principle and state of being a loving person. Love is

nature's gift, unconditional, until we make it so, and then lost ephemeral. Our love is

there eternal as we tread a softer, enlightened path on our spiritual journey.

Enlightenment.... our full measure is equal to our Endarkenment, for we cannot recognise one

or its value, without the other....

May 9th 2005

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~ when days are full of unknowns ~

when we are faced with unknowns, our awareness is heightened and we seek understanding.

One of our greatest gifts is discovery. We may approach the world with and open mind and

learn more of anything and everything. We can harness knowledge and put to good use

experiences of things we value and discard those without usefulness to ourselves.

Unknowns are sometimes a plague. Unknowns can pull us towards concerns, fears and our

mortality.

The gift in our youth is our sense of forever and our invincibility, the gift in our

maturity is our certain knowledge we are ephemeral. Both gifts serve us in our outlook and

enable balance to our view of the world.

Certainty in endings, stills the rapid heart, calms the wits and oft brings new perceptions

to the fore. Do we hear the call of acceptance? Most likely we do, for acceptance is the

gift bestowed when we see life as it presents and not as we would wish.

With every sensing perception, we inform our intuitive leaps and understand our mortality.

The touch of eternity, always and ever present, caught in our minds eye becomes reality...

May 10th 2005

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~ who hears our conscience ~

The gift of conscience, aware of every thought, light or dark. Every notion open to debate,

our conscience is with us forever. We hear an inner voice, serene at times and every other

feeling we might imagine we can conjure as we move through every human experience. With ups

and downs of life, our conscience, our ever present companion keeps fresh our debates.

Our conscience in direct contact to our higher power, provides an open channel challenging

every notion and activity, supporting and moving us through every season.

Our higher power, the collective greater than one, and often perceived as only one, draws us

close and listens.

Our conscience, not there to confirm or deny, rests peaceful amongst life's turmoil. Our

conscience speaks clearly with truth profound, without judgement as we journey, into the

darklight of eternity.

May 11th 2005

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~ we need to look after ourselves ~

most people are reluctant to explore their ailments in case they turn out worse than they

can possibly imagine

Simply put, it is our imagination which gets the better of us. If we imagine the worst, its

impossible to remedy the small things which niggle us. When we neglect what our bodies tell

us, its a recipe for fear and woe. When we get checked out by someone who can advise us how

we are, we get better faster and let go our worst case scenarios.

In my case, I do expect the worst, for my worse has often been exceeded by reality.

Yet in knowing my worst case scenario, I become able to accept the truth. With truth we can

make the best of what we have. And the truth enables understanding to the limits and

potential.

There is relief in knowing. And there is worry in ignorance. Far better to know whatever the

scenario, be it physical, mental or emotional. If we accept where we are, we can mind our

spiritual core, apply nurture and deal with what nature has dealt.

Ignorance is never bliss. The notion that blissful ignorance exists...

that is the work of a deceiving presence in ours or others heads. Best let out the truth and

be freed, to change the day and the future.

May 12th 2005

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~ our quest for the authentic ~

worthy of acceptance or belief as conforming to or based on fact

I snap sometimes, wondering if there is a path to authenticity. Where we find acceptance of

truth, or facts or people who exude this charmed ingredient. The genuine article. That which

maybe has no replica or is not just a copy.

Enlightened thoughts and feelings might suggest we find great solace that authenticity is

quite simply, never unique. We ravel our plots and seek the divine, not realising that in

replication is the greatest authenticity and most likely endorsement.

A search for originality will leave us breathless with surprise to find most human doings

and ideas, have long ago gone cold from white hot moments of another’s inspiration.

Take heart, that as our moments occur, they are authentic, original and inspired within us,

and endorsed by others acceptance of them.

We do not readily copy or suborn others testimony to great inventions we create, to find

them mere replica's of another's pondering.

Our great web across the world suggests most definitely, with so many engaged in living, we

are most likely to find similarities in our clarity. And to the differences we encounter, we

learn vitality and challenge.

We get more from inclusion in this world wide web, than ever we got from pious satisfaction

that we were first, and now so rudely awakened to our folly. There is always something new

we learn, albeit learned a thousand thousand times already by humanity, its ours, our gift

and our authentic moment...

May 13th 2005

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~ spiritual mending ~

Every human being is spiritual as nature intended, our nurturing through life helps or

hinders our spiritual being. The spiritual being we are born to develop, the spiritual doing,

what we become.

If we accept the idea that we are all spiritual beings when we come to this life, we accept

our spirituality as normal. Some are enabled through life to develop their spiritual being

in a way we can all perceive. Yet no human is less than another in this respect. All of us

remain equal in this endeavour.

How our spirituality is manifest is another matter. We meet on our travels through life, the

most unlikely candidates for spiritual growth. More likely our perception of spirituality is

governed by our understanding from our society.

Often, manifest spirituality is attractive to us and we might wish to emulate what we see as

greatness in others. Their journey mapped and discovered and writ large for us all to see as

prophets and saintly figures who give us their experience, strength and hope.

And in the shadows walk the giants of spiritual enactment. Every single one, each of us

moves as spiritual doers, on our own journey to enlightened times. Our illumination is just

perfect, what we see in ourselves, in our own world and society. Bigger than no other and

smaller than none, our spirit is the measure of any other we might encounter.

Similar and hard to discern, diverse and authentic, original travellers across the universe.

Our patterns predictable, our outcomes a revelation.

Unique spiritual doers in everyday life....

May 14th 2005

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~ time ~

Consider time to be a great treasure. Never waste a second

Time certainly is an asset, and like every resource it is best utilised. When we are making

time for any activity, it usually fits in with our internal priorities. And when we consider

we have wasted our time, we only feel it may be wasted with the benefit of hindsight.

So with all activities, we learn. Especially, as we are forever learning we may consider,

what if any, waste we have made.

There are times when we feel bored by actions or doing absolutely nothing. Boredom is a

moment before a decision to some change or action. So too boredom has its uses. In essence

no time is ever lost, maybe just our patience or impatience with events.

As we apply ourselves to life, so we recognise time is finite, we cannot retrieve it and we

race against it most our lives. Best let time take care of itself, and we take care

ourselves.

Maybe time is never wasted, not even a second...

May 15th 2005

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~ dive deep ~

The mind that rests only on the surface of things will be tossed about in every storm. Let

me dive deep to where peace can always be found.

May 16th 2005

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~ where do we fit into the world~

often as we grow we wonder what our place in the world may be, some of us are gifted with a

calm that we do have our niche. For others the niche or place of belonging is something

vague and so uncertain, finding any meaning or joy escapes the most diligent seeker.

A friend of mine described how on finding they were adopted, how difficult so many aspects

of belonging to the world suddenly became important. The feelings of being alone and not

fitting in were intense. Needing to be a part of a family, a community, a society are never

more pressing when we feel separate and different. For those with a grasp of their feelings,

the sensation of isolation and loneliness makes for prolonged periods of low mood and often

fear.

With any sense of loss comes the full gamut of grief, from denial to anger, and often rage,

to depression and impossible searching in one's own mind for questions without answers.

Abandonment lingers darkly, intense to the point of heartbreak.

So when we are displaced and we are at a loss to our place in this world, we can have no

perspective on our worth or value, we lose confidence. Our ego may buoy us, but the sense of

being alone may take its toll for years.

Whoever we are, we will at times have these feelings to varying degrees of intensity. Don't

deny these feelings, they are real. Work through these feelings and seek support, it may be

as simple as confiding ones deepest sadness that opens a door to letting go and moving on.

And moving on is the hardest journey, when there is so much investment in our grief. A

bitter sweet sensation is loss. For inevitably as loss leaves gaps, they are filled on way

or another...

Best when we can, to fill those gaps with what we choose as good for us, knowing it takes

some of us a lifetime and then some to 'get over it'.

May 17th 2005

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~ succeed ~

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice you give to others

May 18th 2005

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~ master ~

Before trying to master others, be sure you are the master of yourself

May 19th 2005

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~ fellowship~

a company of equals or friends, an association: the quality or state of being comradely....

There are as many fellowships open to us as we can imagine. We have ideas of fellowship

based on what we believe.

When we become a 'fellow', best to grasp a common understanding of what it means for us. In

our modern society we have expectations. We need to understand the difference between an

organisation, a fellowship, a club, a group of people and why they come together on common

grounds.

Our idea of fellowship might be all encompassing as a meeting of people who will allow us to

join and participate. That we will expect the fellowship to do things for us and include us

and make good aspects of our lives.

Religious people join organised groups, and often we are born to be included. Fellowships

are quite different and apply their own rules.

My fellowship is generally anonymous. It is not an organisation, it has no obligations

beyond what its fellows choose to provide. In fact my fellowship thrives on chosen actions

and activities and invites and includes anyone. In my fellowship, the value of its

enterprise is equal to the abilities of its members. We are as able and capable when we meet

to the experience of that group of people.

My fellowship of men and women meet across the world in small or large groups. We have one

common goal, to be well and help each other get on with life. Whether our lives are easy and

good, or hard and tortured, we aim to be well in mind, body and spirit. We try to share our

experience, our strength and hope for the future. That is my fellowship.

My fellowship allows in anyone. My fellowship does not judge me or others in their

endeavours to be well and happy. My fellowship is the last resort for people whose lives

have become intolerable and broken. My fellowship and my fellows ...

we keep well together. All equal, all gifted with every human quality, forgiving in our

outlook, accepting of life on life's terms. Strong in our vulnerability and hopeful for our

future's,

one day at a time ...

May 20th 2005

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~ make up ~

While we spend much time 'making up' our faces to ensure our appearance is beautiful for

others, we forget to make up our minds. This is not about making decisions. Making up our

mind means ensuring that our thoughts are positive and our feelings towards others are

filled with good wishes. When we do, others begin to sense a deeper beauty emanating from

behind the skin! This is inner beauty. Don't hide behind your face. Let the real you show

through

May 21st 2005

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~ weakness, bravery and strength ~

Anger is weakness, tolerance is bravery. Humility makes us strong

With time we develop all these qualities of mind. Without one, its unlikely we would have

another. So in the balance of life, we will experience them all. Don't be surprised at

capacity to be feeling one or another. Its how we respond in life which we may take to our

final judgement. And that judgement kept alive in memory.

May 22nd 2005

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~ not all dreams are sweet ~

we dream away our night hours and our minds empty idle thoughts into long term memories

When we dream a happy memory, its the last thing we recollect as we wake often refreshed and

at peace. With every moment of happy dreaming we can enable a contented outlook on our

world.

There are times, sometimes often where the days events and older less happy moments come to

the fore in our dreams. We can wake in the middle of fearful recollections, where we are

held in a state of anxiety. And fear keeps us awake as we are gripped by disconcerting

events. Events which involve us, or events which have moved us, sometimes to nightmares and

often a mixture of both in our imaginations.

Our imaginations can evoke the most difficult and complex scenes, often so vivid it seems

real at the time. Rest assured those harsh imaginings need careful reflection when they

repeat over and over.

Dark moments of our past and memories of events are best shared with another, to let them

go. Letting them go, with mindful care to their impact will free us of troubled nights.

Dark dreams take as long to fade as the power of the events and imaginings we have. Some

might take a lifetime. Some experiences are never forgotten. They just lose their grip and

power in the sharing...

When we harness our imagination, and make our feelings and thoughts known, we enable

feedback. We begin to right size our fears and tribulations, putting our worries to bed.

Gentle and patient we must be, when dark dreams roam free.

May 23rd 2005

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~ supraordinate is our love ~

a big word, for a big idea. The word supraordinate comes from a blend of thinking, from

Latin and carthusian roots. Simply put supraordinate is "above the line"

Love is supraordinate in our emotions, above the line when it comes to understanding our

feelings. Love is simply ahead of any other feeling. With love we feel every nuance of every

other emotion. Light and dark thoughts always have their root in love.

When we feel in love, we are enabling every subtlety and profound reaction to our

environment. When we feel no love, we still feel every nuance and profound reaction to our

environment. The depth of our reaction is the equal of our experience.

So when we come to gauge our feelings of love, we can apply our own measure to love. Love is

measured all day every day, we may not notice how we measure love, as love is automatic. We

don't register love, unless we bring it to our minds eye and focus.

To be in love...

We are forever loving, even when we feel least able, for love is truly gifted with every

facet of every emotion we can comprehend and maybe more than a lifetime can absorb. We want

love, and we express love. And yet love has as many definitions and complexities as there are

humans who have lived and are living. No wonder we become confused by love.

And no wonder we hear sayings similar to, "love makes the world go around", "love is in the

air", for palpably it is...

May 24th 2005

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~ telling the truth ~

we spent some time on this quandary the other day. Over fifty friends, we sat and talked of

telling the truth. We were wondering not only what truth might be, and more importantly how

to tell it.

We heard many stories of trying to tell the truth. From getting up in the morning and trying

to be truthful to ourselves and our feelings. Even in the moment of waking, we were hard

pressed to admit to our true feelings....

and tell the truth
We were getting in a muddle and confounded by the suggestion at this meeting for such a

tough topic so early in the day. Yet when we persevered and took the discussion further, we

found our culprit in telling the truth. Truth itself.

We were not trying to be clever. And we never really dreamed that there are as many versions

of the truth as there are people, in this case fifty in the same place, each with their own

version. It was funny, comical and very odd to accept we could all be right about what we

were saying and we all had our own view. Similar, yet different. The truth, we agreed, it's

better to keep as close to it, even tho' we could never agree absolutely that we got to the

truth.

May 25th 2005

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~ power ~

Positive thoughts generate power, negative ones waste it.

Worth a greater amount of thought than we might wish. For there is great force either way

and some including me might challenge the perceived waste in negative thought. After all, to

get to the value of positive thought, surely we must experience the values of both?

May 26th 2005

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~ peace within ~

Do not look for peace outside for it lies within the soul.

Like most things in life, we can feel better for a bit more of everything from external

sources. For example, food, drink, love and every aspect of anything which attracts us.

And we are better for knowing what on the outside of ourselves enables inside happiness. The

true gift of life is inner peace without doubt, where we can live in the world and

experience all elements in our preferred ways.

True that nothing outside will fix inner turmoil’s, external experience however informs and

educates us to our own world of joy and satisfaction. Ying and Yang, it is surely a blend of

and balance in our minds eye, which finds us peaceful.

May 27th 2005

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~ sweet ~

Let sweetness in my thoughts, words and actions be the most visible of all virtues.

Sweet these days has many more meanings as each generation modifies and reworks meaning.

Sweet these days is often the notion that an experience is good and an outcome is sought and

agreed. So 'sweet' means more than just sugar....

As to sweet in our thoughts, I like the notion that in our common usage today, my thoughts

are sweet. Which means for me my thoughts are consistent with my feelings. Even when

feelings are up or down, I feel they are sweet. Bitter sweet, as even when outcomes have a

taint, even bitter quality, they are as they are, and being 'sweet', they help me get a grip

on the world.

May 28th 2005

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~ get a grip and let go ~

Ever been told to get a grip? Usually we are encouraged to get a grip on life when things go

out of control. Most often we are encouraged to get a grip when others feel that we are not

in control, usually when we feel things strongly.

And often if we are moving on in life we are encouraged to let go things which hold us back.

So now we end up with two propositions,

get a grip and let go
And as we grow in our experience, we can see the virtue of both holding on and getting a

grip, and letting go and moving to new experience.

Part of our emotional and intellectual abilities is using our mental toolkit to best

advantage. And only we know that and how well prepared we are. So get your mental wrenches

ready, and grip to that which you need, at the same time let go that mental rubbish which

fills our waking hours with useless toil.

And most of all remind ourselves that one persons grip is another's escape. For we all have

values and views on experience. Recognise our diversity and difference, and be joyful at our

similarities. For the combination of all elements is enriching to humanity.

Value diversity and love similarity... maybe we can do more as we comprehend the universe as

infinity, where nothingness is without value.

May 29th 2005

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~ perspective ~

to look through, see clearly

We are often trying get a perspective on many aspects of our lives. Or are we just trying to

find balance, which makes life worth living? I and friends discussed perspective today. And

we started with someone who had just been through a traumatic experience. Their perspective

took account of that life threatening event, which meant the day to day living was less of a

concern given the near death experience.

So few of us, yet so many close calls ourselves and with friends and family who had been

near wiped out of existence.

It makes us see small things might preoccupy our thoughts and feelings when there are more

important challenges to us.

Yet I see clearly, sometimes our small things are writ large, and our big things beyond

thought. We need both small and big to form perspective.

And perspective like life changes, and for each of us, and we are hardly ever congruent with

our fellows. So as one contemplates life itself, another is caught in a minor conundrum. So

with all elements of living, we must gain our perspective and appreciate others too.

Forgiving our perspective makes ours larger and similarly helps us understand others.

Tolerance enables, and helps us accept where our perspective is, and those around us.

May 30th 2005

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~ life experience, #### happens ~

sweep nothing under the carpet, every experience needs to be lived and not denied.

May 31st 2005

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~ denial is often our Saviour~

We get concerned when others suggest, or even accuse us of denial. And denial is simply not

wanting to believe something which is profound to us, or even very small to us. We don't

like death, so we hardly want to believe something like death takes away those we love. And

as denial is so easy to us, we can equally discount trivial things that might be unworthy of

lengthy thought.

Denial serves us well, to smooth out rough spots and difficult truths. The truth is with us

soon enough, and we need make it manageable, by suppressing it, until we can devote enough

time to it. Denial of anything and something affects us inside, until we express our true

feelings when we can.

Some suggest to us denial is destructive and something to see as negative. Denial is never

negative, it keeps us alive when the reality is just too hard to accept. Only when denial

becomes unhelpful to us should we consider its efficacy. And one person with their denial is

entirely unique. Never make the mistake that we understand another’s particular feelings and

process of denial and the timing.

When denial is subjective and helpful we best leave others to their own understandings. When

denial is grief laden and profound, we might help others over the event with listening and

empathy. We all need a helping hand at times with perspective...

Copyright © Don Oddy
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--Rudyard Kipling

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


August 14th 2006

A month in Recovery

This link to my birthday, and the start of my diary on "30 days in recovery," this follows my journey over a month in my fellowship, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Unedited and written raw, no revisions or re-writes. Just as it happened and without prejudice.

Obsessions

fear of fear?full story

"I did feel the need to speak to a couple of people after the meeting to allay their fears of some things medical and what it means for me, a person who has some experience strength and hope to share about precisely those medical fears as they come along. And why?

Well because I have had some medical scares along the way and have ongoing medical conditions. I don’t shout or complain too loudly about my medical conditions. For the record they fall into three categories. First I am in recovery from addiction and have been sober for some time, measured now in years. Second, I have clinical depression, an ongoing medical condition which has been around for most my adult life according to professional experts, and is now treated. And third, the one which makes life even more haphazard is Type 1 diabetes."