Chronicles February 2005

February 1st 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ first think ~

First think and then act, this way you save time and energy.

We feel the difference between reaction and response. A small pause for a consideration. Much of the time we just react to where we are and what is happening.

I wonder now what would have been a considered and thoughtful response, taking account of my feelings. Or just reacting to my feelings and behaving as if on auto pilot.

Somehow we get caught up in thoughts and feelings of the moment. We are sure our automatic reaction is best. We often look back in hindsight and wonder at our success or our disasters.

First think as a principle for living, we can endeavour to put a bit of a moment or two between reaction and response.

Our response means we have at least given time, our reaction involves no time.

Know when to react and when to respond. A mistake either way can leave us in trouble!

February 2nd 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ create continuously ~

Every day is an opportunity to be creative - the canvas is your mind, the brushes and colours are your thoughts and feelings, the panorama is your story, the complete picture is a work of art called, 'my life'. Be careful what you put on the canvas of your mind today - it matters.

Softly we roll on into the new year. So quickly for some of us, not too painful, yet for many the pain of this new year will last a lifetime. Tsunami, a word and concept we thought could not occur it felt like a dream or nightmare. It happened so quickly no one except those directly affected could possibly imagine the consequences of this huge wave in the ocean.

We cannot comprehend natures might, even when we have seen it on film and television. We cannot believe it. Our denial lasted a few days and then the awful consequences rolled across the news channels for day after day. Even now as the news abates and we all gave something of ourselves to help, it seems like one more disaster we live with in our minds eye, and we are pulled by to our own day to day so quickly.

What we keep in our minds eye is truly important, let the importance be maintained for our day to day and prayers, which lead to actions for those we help will be answered.

February 3rd 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ less is more ~

Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; hate less, love more and all good things are yours.

Temperance is a good word to describe my feelings today. Temperance, restraint, not going off half sure, not sure, never quite sure about others wrong doing. Temperance for the folly of others who affected by their problems seek oblivion. Oblivion that place where all problems are gone as we are poisoning our minds, the oblivion and hapless state we get to when we are vulnerable to everything, even our own body giving up as we strive to make a space for harmony in trouble.

Feeling sad for people with no sense of choice or able to manage the day without oblivion... I know those feelings so well. And here we are, and especially me, surrounded by mishap and poor choices, unable to deal with pressure they turn to the dealer for solace. And worse still from solace to madness as oblivion is fed from dealing, passing on those warm glow moments and trading their will for a peaceful moment. From bliss to insanity as the need drives the body and the mind is compelled to dwell on that next moment of obscure silence. The silence of that inner voice, where madness turns ugly and imprisons our minds to the drug of our choice.

Without will, the desire so strong, the vulnerable around me are sucked into a swamp where all is poison and a helping hand is shunned and reviled. Once afflicted always afflicted until recovery is sought and maintained. The pilot light always on, the danger ever present, the beguiler on the doorstep forever, always present as friend or foe. The friend or foe forever talking inside our heads,

there to remind us before we are dead...

February 4th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ banish worry ~

Worry is otherwise known as 'fantasised catastrophising' where we create an image of the future and use it to frighten ourselves! Be aware that you are doing it, then stop doing it, otherwise the image will become a self fulfilling prophesy. Imagine only the brightest future, and so it will be. Besides there is nothing to worry about... unless you are under the illusion that your well-being and security are dependent on material things. If they are, then you will have many ways in which you can create worry. Possible loss, damage, separation, uncertainty are but a few. Look, you're killing yourself with worry, all because of the misuse of your imagination. Don't do it.

February 5th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ character ~

Humility dismisses nothing, rather, it takes even small things into consideration. It recognises that whatever life presents, needs to be respected. Small things are easily found in something big, but inside little things there is often greatness.

February 6th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ actions mirror thoughts~

Your actions are a mirror of your thoughts; have elevated thoughts and your actions will be elevated.

Tough? It is and we work hard at what we become, especially when we make it habit.

February 7th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ be simple ~

Live simply so that others may simply live. It's a nice idea, but our lives are more complicated and complex than ever. What can you simplify today - your desk, perhaps your thoughts, a meeting? Simple means easy. Simple means asking, "Is this really necessary?" Simple means keeping it short but sweet. Simple means keeping the focus of your attention on what you need to do now. Today's mantra is, "lets keep it simple."

February 8th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ attitude ~

When you extend pure love to everyone with selfless motivation that is an attitude of kindness. When you send good wishes and pure feelings to those who are in deep sorrow, that is an attitude of mercy. When you see the virtues rather than the weaknesses in people that is an attitude of compassion. When you bless and uplift someone even as they defame you, that is an attitude of forgiveness. When you tolerate a situation and take responsibility as well as give cooperation even when not appreciated, that is an attitude of humility and self-respect. Every second, every moment and every breath of your life is nurtured by attitude.

February 9th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ stillness ~

Stillness of spirit doesn't mean lack of movement, but that thoughts and feelings move in the right direction naturally.

February 10th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ truth ~

You believe truth is not something you read in a book, but something you do with your life.

February 11th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ positive thinking ~

When the mind works well the body will also work well.

February 12th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ mercy ~

The best way to rectify a mistake is to begin with an apology.

February 13th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ positive thinking ~

When the mind works well the body will also work well.

February 14th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ have faith ~

Can you remember a time when you had nothing to eat, nowhere to live, no clothes to wear and no friends. You can't? Because there never was such a time. One of the deepest faiths is that you will always receive what you need. Every time you fear that will not receive what you need, or that others will acquire everything before you, and so deny you, you loose the first and most important faith. The faith that you are worthy and that all your needs will be met. The death of this faith is the birth of desire, and desire eventually becomes greed. Faith is living in the intuitive conviction that all your needs will be met at every level - spiritual, mental and physical. Paradoxically it is the power of that faith that works like a magnet and makes it happen. You won't need to fight for anything. Faith attracts all that you need, but not as long as you still want!

February 15th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ love ~

Have a heart that is filled with everything precious - love, truth and peace.

February 16th 2005

~ determination ~

Determination melts like wax even the strongest habit

February 17th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ good news / bad news ~

On any given day there is good and bad news. We are most likely powerless over the news and what it brings to our day.

The good news is as important as the bad, yet we find most news definitely has some tragic quality for some, or many we hear about in the 'news'.

There is attraction to and curiosity about our human doings. I am struck by the nature of news. We get it from all sources, media, friends and family. We get so much its hard for us sometimes to deal with the big and small snippets our memory selects. Our memory selects and replays according to our mood, our mind's eye.

Often the mood selects memories to reinforce our unique view as the times and events bring more texture to our recollections.

How to set yours news and mood, to make good the day is your affair and helps assist how we are feeling in our own world. Time comes to make sense of it, and that’s another journey.

~ words ~

Sticks and stones break bones - words often break relationships.

February 19th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ powerlessness ~

An apt topic for me. I have been taking responsibility for myself. Its hard enough as a task to meet the world as it is, without filters and without me wanting to bend it to my will. Part of spiritual growth is accepting the day as the day is.

In the last few days, its been a struggle to accept things the way they are, because the way they are leaves much to reliance on irresponsible actions of people around me.

Yet I believe I can accept the day as is. I might need to be more alert and be more aware of dangers, and do a little more to make things safe....

It is the only way others might learn and become more capable and be more thoughtful. Having the answers makes nothing work more fully, if the answers are unacceptable to others, keen and hell bent on their wilful wants. Standing back, I see there is nothing but powerlessness over people places and things that happen, its just my response and me managing my behaviour which keeps me on track. I need not stay or place myself in greater danger by staying put.

I declined to take responsibility for others and their behaviour. I declined to oversee the behaviour of others, as one is an alleged arsonist.

And this makes me feel sad and ill at ease. For the one taking responsibility in the days following has no resource to see the implied dangers of their commitment. And I am dismayed. I feel I must alert and share my concerns... or should I?

February 20th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ the truth ~

Without the company of the Truth, weak souls cannot become strong.

The truth is absolute, yet we make use of our selected truths to satisfy often crude illusions. We add every mixture of speculation to truth. We add our preference and bias to effect outcomes we deem right and proper.

Truth, that harsh mix from reality, we make our eyes and ears deny the truth so often, to shape our inside feelings and wants.

Truth categorical and ever present meets our minds eye with contempt as we can twist and turn.

Taciturn we lumber if truth we must undo, to make our world easier to view. Our silent churn, our marvelled imagination makes our truth a labyrinth which perplexes the observer and turns our expression of truth to stone. Hard impermeable granite belief, impossible to break, truth denied dashed on the rock of conscience. It was ever thus, rocks, hard places, with only time to master deliverance.

the truth will set us free..
truth sets free all elements and has no conscience...

February 21st 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ give and take ~

"As you give, so you receive." By understanding this secret I can experience fulfilment

February 22nd 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ no task too difficult ~

If you do everything with the feeling of happiness, there will be no task too difficult to perform.

February 23rd 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ reality~

Our reality, its what it feels like inside. Our reality, the one we share with those we trust. So much of our reality is hidden from strangers, who we would keep away from our intimate selves.

Our intimate self, the vulnerable, the one we keep secret. Its better in my experience to let others see our true self. Often the insides are not fully formed or set in stone. Only the exterior is concrete to others. When the forming self shares and honestly, so the outer self loses its granite like features... and we let others see the beauty we are becoming.

February 24th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ new response~

If you can see and accept that you create your own stress according to how you are responding, you will then see that there is something you need to unlearn as well as learn. The old response needs to be unlearned, and a new response needs to be learned

February 25th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ pure peace ~

Keep your mind and heart free of all pollution, and peace will always be with you.

Often a difficult realisation, when the world is less than peaceful and we are hurting. I am hurting terribly today, and it really sucks...

February 26th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ days of highs and lows ~

A low day

When I am, like now in a slump, the low is as low as it gets. I have to sit and wait, jump about and wait. And wait till this big blue gores and then go's.

My impatient logical mind screams for these moods to move on, and I wait with my feelings to feel the brush of light which washes over the chasms of dark. Soon I hope, let the lift in mood near, and touch the deep.

February 27th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ pitch black ~

as if yesterday was a turning point

The roll down a slope, was pitched to free fall in black. Such moments are a stretch in time as seconds seem like hours and the deep gloom rolls over as nothing touches my insides.

Bleak and lonely, relentless waves of nothing, beyond normal misery, apart, with no inner voice for comfort, the debating society in my head quiet, perfect black. Black perfect...

It will pass..

February 28th 2005

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ mending bridges ~

mending bridges imaginary or otherwise is helpful to the tortured mind

In a day a lot can happen, from stark moments of tortuous feelings and elaborate thinking, we can often change our views on life and hope springs again.

So from yesterday where all was just black rolling over black, simple and small steps to enlightened moments can ameliorate torments.

Meeting with family, a brief and heartfelt touch, enables a shift in inner conscience. I have been feeling worn down by the torture of self obsession, wanting to make a conscious acknowledgement of help and at the same time trying to find some forgiveness for me. And with forgiveness comes a revelation that anything is possible, anything can be reviewed, tallied and reappraised.

An emotional accountant with an abacus, calculating the balance of gifts of love. On the one hand and on the other, this laymen to his feelings feels better acknowledging unequivocal gifts of love.

I feel the rush to warmth and support, where if ever I had lost the plot, now I can take a reckoning, and acknowledge future amends. I have a drawer full of misunderstandings, and they remain ready to return to understandings as and when opportunity offers.

Bold moments in clarity, where I face truth, with a certain ready feeling, that truth with as much honesty I can muster, acceptance and forbearance, patience and rectitude as templates to future's hope.

Tolerance and love, our core of warmth, reflections tell me such moments are treasures in an imperfect world, made perfect through simplicity.